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”Yes …but 1 don’t see how.’
‘1 have great resources.’
Cristiano thought it likely that the results of the checks he had ordered on Lydia might well contain some useful leads. He had left that report sitting unopened and unread in London, because investigating Lydia without her knowledge had belatedly struck him as unethical. He would have it forwarded.
‘l’d be really grateful. I’m worried sick about her,’ Lydia admitted honestly.
‘Her marriage broke up shortly before she went away, so goodness knows what sort of state of mind she might be in.’
‘1’ll find her for you, cara mia.’ Cristiano consulted his watch, slanting ebony brows drawing together. ‘But right now we have an appointment to keep, and we should make a move.’
Lydia gave him a puzzled glance.
‘What appointment’?’
Cristiano shrugged with a shade less cool than was usual.
‘1 think it makes sense for you to have a pregnancy test done by a doctor, so I’ve gone ahead and organised it.’
Lydia was truly taken aback.
‘But that’s crazy…1 can easily buy a test.’
‘A test you perform yourself might give a false result.’
Lydia flushed and lowered her lashes. Obviously he was really worried that she might have conceived. He had hidden the fact well, only casually alluding to the possibility on a couple of occasions since that night. But now it was clear that he was not prepared to wait even another couple of days to see if there was cause for a test to be done.
‘lf you prefer this way of going about things…that’s fine,’ she muttered uncomfortably.
‘It’s something we should share,’ Cristiano decreed with assurance.
The appointment was at a private clinic. The doctor, a suave gynaecologist, left them in his smart office and reappeared with a grave expression.
”The test was negative.
You’re not pregnant, Powell.’
Lydia was quite unprepared for the sharp stab of disappointment that afflicted her in response to that news.
Cristiano was stunned. He had firmly believed that she would be pregnant. They were both young and healthy. For fifteen years he had assiduously guarded against any possibility of conception. He had never taken a risk, made a mistake or had an accident. Was it any wonder that he had been fully convinced that one contraceptive oversight new to him, it should still be a huge relief to receive the news that he was not to become a father.
Lydia was struggling to feel equally relieved. It occurred to her that in recent weeks Mother nature had been playing games with her subconscious mind. While on the surface she had maintained a sensible attitude to the concept of an unplanned pregnancy, little daydreams, doubtless fuelled by sneaky female hormones, had made her consider the possibility of motherhood for the very first time. And the truth was that she had really warmed to the idea of having a baby.
‘l’m sure you must be pleased that we don’t have anything to worry about any more,’ she muttered tautly when they were back in the limo.
Cristiano said nothing in response to that leading question.
Lean, strong face impassive, he was deep in thought.
Her eyes were stinging. She was seriously embarrassed, and terrified he would notice that she was upset. A lump formed in her throat and she tried and failed to swallow.
She blinked back tears furiously.
‘perhaps it is human nature to want what has been denied,’
Cristiano commented.
”You’re disappointed, aren’t out?’
‘No, I’m not! ‘ she gasped cockily, rifling through all his pockets to find a hanky and then burying her face in it.
‘lt’s just the tension, that’s all…and now I’m feeling a little tearful.’
‘l’d like to have a baby with you, gioia mia’
Cristiano told her, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
CHAPTER NINE
THE hanky dropped from Lydia’s nerveless fingers. Her tear-drenched blue eyes locked to his lean, darkly handsome features with dazed uncertainty, for she was unable to credit that he meant what he had said. ‘Are you teasing me’?’
‘lt’s not a joking matter. 1 am very much in earnest,’ Cristiano asserted in his dark deep drawl.
‘l’ve realized that 1 would like a child.’
‘Oh… ‘ It was all she could think of to say. The thought of having a baby with Cristiano was making nonsense of all rational thought, for at that moment he was offering her what she most wanted on earth. Indeed, it shook her that her desire for a child could have gone so deep.
‘1 suppose it is natural.’ Cristiano shifted a lean brown hand in a graceful gesture of acceptance.
‘l’ve reached a stage in life where I’m ready to be a father. This little drama of ours has simply brought that truth home to me’.
‘1, too, was disappointed when we learned that there was not to be a child.’
‘1 honestly didn’t know I’d feel like that,’ she admitted in a rush, attempting to put her thoughts in order.
‘l just can’t believe that you feel the same way’
Enquiring golden eyes rested on hers.
”Why not’?’
She could’ve told him fifty reasons why not. Babies weren’t cool lifestyle choices. Babies didn’t travel well and he never stopped. But, most of all, babies deserved two parents. Although that wasn’t always possible, it was definitely an objective that required serious consideration.
Her thoughts were spinning like whirling dervishes, leaving her dizzy. t1 don’t fancy being a single parent,’ she admitted abruptly.
The silence simmered and bubbled like a witch’s cauldron on the boil.
Cristiano surveyed her with inhuman calm.
‘So…you have a point to make’?’ Lydia went very pink and studied her linked hands.
Just weeks ago he had proposed. She had shouted no on principle, and that had been that. She had let pride and bitterness do her talking for her. It had since occurred to her that she might have been more than a little hasty in giving him that spirited negative response. Yes, she would love to be valued for something more than her ability to entertain him in bed several times a day. On the other hand, it w
ould be grossly unjust of her not to acknowledge that she was pleasing herself there too. Everything in the bedroom department was absolutely amazing, and she had no complaints whatsoever. In fact, on every level, life with Cristiano was wildly exceeding her expectations. He treated her so well. He made her feel incredibly happy. But she could not rely on that. He didn’t love her, and inevitably their affair would run its course and come to an end.
‘Lydia…?’
‘Hush…1’m thinking very hard here.’ She sighed, thinking worriedly that it would be very wrong to even consider having a baby in such an insecure relationship.
It didn’t matter that she believed that a child would be a comfort to her when he had gone from her life. That would be a very selfish way to look at parenting, she decided shamefacedly. She had to act like a responsible adult. She might love him and want his baby but only the commitment of marriage would give them both security. How much did he want to be a father? Enough to marry her?
‘can 1 help’?’ Cristiano enquired gently.
Before she could lose her nerve, Lydia breathed in very deep, and just tired the words at him.
‘1’ll be happy to have a baby with you. But there’s a condition.’
‘No pain, no gain,’
Cristiano quipped, lush black lashes low over shouldering golden eyes as he let a caressing masculine fingertip slowly skate a provocative trail down over her slender thigh, smiling when she shivered.
‘But we could shelve the negotiation until sunset, and spend the afternoon working on the project, carissima. ‘
Her heart skipped a beat, and then raced with a sad lack of self-control. She shot him a sidewise glance, tummy flipping when she met his stunning eyes.
‘l’m trying to have a serious talk here… What 1 want to say is that 1‘11 have a baby if you marry me…’
Cristiano elevated a sleek ebony brow in apparent surprise.
‘SO what happened to love’?’ Lydia blinked.
‘l beg your pardon’?’
‘You said you would only marry for love,’ he reminded her smoothly.
Lydia blushed to the roots of her hair and shifted uneasily on her seat.
‘Well, perhaps that was a bit…er…fanciful,’ she selected in desperation.
