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Taken by surprise by that information, Ruby frowned and asked, ‘Who were they?’
‘An aide on my father’s staff and a private secretary from Wajid’s team here in the palace. Wajid is very ashamed of that link. Be tactful with him if he raises the subject. He is very much aware that the kidnapping could have ended tragically.’
‘But we were unhurt,’ Ruby hastened to remind him.
Her husband looked grave, his sensual mouth compressing. ‘Ruby…tempers run high with memories of the war still so fresh. Fighting could have broken out again. Our lives and those of others were put at risk. The mercenaries whom the perpetrators hired to act for them have fled the country and are unlikely to be apprehended but a prison sentence is inevitable for the citizens involved.’
‘I understand.’ The justice system was rigid and retribution fell swift and hard on those who broke the laws in their countries. Ruby was already learning to temper her opinions in the light of the society in which she now lived, but it still occasionally annoyed her to depend so much on Raja’s interpretation of events and personalities.
Just weeks earlier she had claimed that she intended to be as much involved as Raja in ruling Ashur and could only marvel at her innocence, for the longer she lived in the palace, the more she appreciated how much she still had to learn about the constantly squabbling local factions and the council of elderly men who stalled and argued more than they made decisions. Raja spent a good deal of his time soothing difficult people and in meetings with the Najari investors financing the rebuilding of Ashur. His duties seemed endless and he was working very long hours because he was also dealing with his duties as Regent of Najar from a distance. Unable to offer much in the way of support, Ruby felt guilty.
Indeed the longer she stayed in Ashur, the more confused and unsure of her own wishes Ruby was becoming. She was fully conscious that Raja had married her with the best of intentions and acted as he saw fit in an effort to turn their platonic marriage into a lasting relationship. He had played the hand he had been given without intending to hurt or humiliate her. He wanted her to stay married to him but to date he had put no pressure on her to do so and she respected him for that. Yet while he was bearing the blame for the dissension between them she knew that she had played a sizeable part in her own downfall by being so violently attracted to him. Her decision to surrender to that attraction had badly muddied the water and her thinking processes and encouraged her to want more from him than he was ever likely to give her. When she had specified and demanded a marriage of convenience, how could she blame him for her change of heart?
At the same time avoiding Raja and keeping to the other side of the bolster in the bed was beginning to feel a little childish. She was also living on her nerves because her period was currently overdue. She had told herself that her menstrual cycle could just be acting up. But in her heart of hearts she was terrified that her misfiring cycle combined with the new tenderness of her breasts meant that she had fallen pregnant. She had abandoned all restraint in the desert with Raja and it looked as though she might well be about to pay a price for that recklessness.
‘The little girl you were with,’ Raja commented quietly.
Instantly, Ruby tensed. ‘Leyla? What about her?’
‘Have you gone to the orphanage every evening?’
‘Have you a problem with that?’ Ruby countered defensively.
‘The child seems very attached to you. Is that wise?’ he prompted gently. ‘She will be hurt when you disappear from her life again.’
Annoyance hurtled up through Ruby and she closed her hands together very tightly to control her feelings. ‘I have no plans to disappear.’
Sensing her distress at what he had suggested, Raja stretched out a hand to rest it on top of her tensely knotted fingers. ‘We’re leaving Ashur tomorrow for a couple of weeks. You have many claims on your time now.’
‘I…I was thinking of adopting Leyla!’ Ruby flung at him, finally putting into words the idea that had been growing at the back of her mind for two weeks and working on her until it began to seem a possibility rather than a wild idea. ‘I know you’ll probably think I’m crazy but I’ve become very fond of Leyla. Whatever it takes, I’d very much like to give her a home.’
Astonished by that outspoken admission, Raja studied her. ‘But you’re planning to divorce me…’
Ruby frowned. ‘Well, eventually, yes, but—’
‘Then I suspect that you have not thought this idea through,’ Raja intoned. ‘The Ashuri Court of Family Law would not countenance foreign adoption and would wish the child to be raised here where she was born with her own language and people. I doubt that you are willing to offer her that option.’
‘I would love her,’ Ruby breathed in stark disagreement as the limo drew up outside the side entrance to the palace. ‘Leyla needs love more than she needs anything else!’
‘Love is not always enough,’ Raja drawled softly.
In receipt of that hoary old chestnut, Ruby shot him a furious look of disagreement and took the stairs to their suite two at a time. Her heart was hammering like mad behind her breastbone because she was genuinely upset. Having finally got up the courage to voice her hopes with regard to Leyla, she had been shot down in flames. The hard facts Raja had voiced rankled and hurt. Evidently there was no question of her trying to adopt Leyla if she was planning to ultimately divorce Raja. But was she planning to divorce him?
Exactly when would she be able to walk away from Raja without that decision impacting on the stability of Ashur? She could not imagine a date even on the horizon when she might leave her marriage without there being a risk of it leading to political upheaval in her late father’s country. Her decision to marry Raja had been rash in the extreme, she conceded ruefully. She had not looked into the future. She had failed to recognise that a short-term fix might be almost worse for her country of birth than her refusing outright to marry Raja. A divorce would unleash more political and economic turmoil. Raja was right about that, for she had listened to people talking and seen for herself how much weight rested on their marriage as a symbol of unity and reconciliation. An image of Leyla’s tear-stained little face swam before her now and her heart turned over inside her chest.
‘What do you know about love?’ Ruby demanded, challenging Raja as she poured the mint tea waiting for them on a tray. ‘Have you ever been in love?’
‘Once was enough,’ he admitted sardonically.
Ironically Ruby felt affronted by that admission. He didn’t love her but he had fallen for someone else? ‘Who was she?’
His lean strong face took on a wry expression. ‘Her name was Isabel. We met as students at Oxford. I was besotted with her.’ He grimaced, openly inviting her amusement. ‘We read poetry and went everywhere together holding hands.?
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‘People apparently do stuff like that when they’re in love,’ Ruby remarked stiltedly, well aware that he had never shown any desire to read her a poem or to hold her hand and, as a result, feeling distinctly short-changed rather than amused.
‘The romance turned into a nightmare,’ Raja confided tight-mouthed, his beautiful dark eyes bleak with recollection. ‘She was very jealous and possessive. Everything was a drama with her. If I even spoke to another woman she threw a scene. I was nineteen years old and totally inexperienced with your sex.’
Sipping the mint tea, which she had learned to find refreshing, Ruby was touched by his honesty, for baring his soul did not come naturally to a man accustomed to keeping his own counsel and concealing his feelings. ‘At that age you must have found a volatile woman hard to cope with.’
‘She threatened to kill herself when I tried to break it off. I stood up to her but she carried through her threat—she did take an overdose,’ he admitted gravely, acknowledging her wince of sympathy with compressed lips. ‘When I said it was a nightmare I wasn’t exaggerating. Eventually Isabel’s parents put her into a clinic to be treated for depression. It took me a long time to extract myself from my entanglement with her.’
‘And of course it put you off what she saw as love,’ Ruby conceded thoughtfully, understanding that perfectly, her brown eyes soft as she tried to picture him as a naive teenager spouting poetry and holding hands. ‘But Isabel sounds as if she had a very twisted idea of love. It was just your bad luck to meet a woman like that and get burned.’
Raja shrugged a broad shoulder in a fatalistic gesture.
‘My mum, though—she got burned twice over,’ Ruby volunteered, startling him. ‘She lacked good judgement. She just fell in love and believed the man would be perfect. My father married his second wife behind her back and then told Mum he had no choice because he needed a son and she had had to have a hysterectomy after giving birth to me.’
‘And the second burning?’ Raja queried curiously, for he was already familiar with the first, although he had been given a rather different version.
