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"Why not?” he asked patiently, covering her face in the gentlest of kisses.
"Because I am engaged."
He kissed her again, kissing away her denial, her body already plaint in his arms. He released her for a moment, allowing her to speak once more.
Breathlessly she continued, “Because I want to get married."
He kissed her once more, this time lingering. “What if I said I wanted to marry you more than any other man?"
"You mean it?” Her eyes lit up.
"Yes. Do you have any more excuses?"
* * * *
He kissed her again before she had a chance to think of any more. She responded out of instinct, her body softened against his, obedient to his silent demand.
Suddenly she pushed him away and looked down at the floor out of guilt. He didn't understand and he never would. “I want more than just for you to ask me to marry you out of pity, Vincent. I will not live in a loveless marriage. I am not going to marry you."
"Do you love him then?"
"Not yet, but he adores me, and I will come to love him in time."
His look was one of silent disbelief, “You say that you don't want to marry for lack of love. Did you ever love me?"
Barbara sighed, she felt the pressure grow more intense in her chest. It was a pain she recognized. Her heart was breaking. Of course she loved him. She loved him with all her heart, but knew he didn't feel the same way. He was the one who held himself back. He didn't love her and this would hurt too much, to love him this intensely and not ever feel the love returned. She couldn't live with this kind of pain. “This is not about my love, Vincent."
* * * *
There wasn't anything he could say to that. He knew what she wanted. She wanted to hear him tell her that he loved her. He opened his mouth, and even though he willed it, no words came out. He could not tell her those three little words, even though he knew it would make her happy to hear them. Happy enough to stay with him. Vincent regarded her silently for a minute, then wordlessly he dropped his arms, letting her out of his embrace and turned, leaving without a word.
* * * *
As soon as Barbara came back down to the parlor hall, Annie approached her. “Thank God. Where have you been? I have been looking all over for you."
"It wasn't important. I was just speaking to a customer."
"I have a problem. I need you to fill in for one of the girls."
"But I can't—"
"You have to! It's a favorite of the house and he has special tastes, my dear. He won't take any but the cream of the crop and he wants you, my dear."
"I am engaged now, Annie."
"Just this last one time. No one will know, and you will enjoy it. I can promise you that much. I gave you a job when you needed it. Don't make me regret helping you."
Barbara rolled her eyes. “Fine, what do I need to do?"
Annie's eyes lit up. “Absolutely nothing. All you have to do is lay there. He insists on anonymity, so he wants you blindfolded and he has a unique fetish. I will have Kitty prepare you for him."
"What do you mean prepare me?"
"It's nothing, dear. Kitty will explain everything you need to know. Go upstairs. You can use my bedroom. All you have to do is lay there."
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Fifteen
You forgot to mention the part about being tied up, Barbara thought cynically about her earlier conversation with Annie. Just lie there, tied up and blindfolded, helpless under a man's careful attention.
Oh, God.
She was getting wet just anticipating what was to come. The thought was not an unwelcome one. Thoughts of a man, touching her most intimate places, a feather light touch hovering over her body, never knowing what he would do next. Just the thought of what could happen were diving her crazy. She clenched her thighs together, hoping to assuage some of her aching need.
Normally she would touch herself, but with her arms bound to the bedposts, she couldn't even scratch her nose. Suddenly she heard a door open and shut. Barbara turned her head to get a hint of who it might be. She could hear him circle the bed. It didn't help that she was naked, she felt helpless and aware of him, as a woman would always be aware of a man ready to pounce. She could sense a determination in the steady padding of his feet across the floor.
"Who are you?” Barbara asked in a squeaky voice. She knew she wasn't supposed to know and yet she had to find out who...
"Not quite yet.” His voice was husky and familiar and yet she couldn't quite place it.
Who was he?
"Do you belong to another?"
She bit her lip, hesitating on her answer. It was a straightforward question. She was engaged, she wasn't supposed to be here. What would James do if he knew that she came here, expecting one last fling? She didn't want to destroy what she had, and what if this gentleman said something to James about what he and she shared tonight? No—she couldn't lie to this man—not when he may even already know the answer to his own question.
"Not quite yet,” she replied.
"What do you mean? Either you belong to him or you don't. Do you belong to him?” His fingers touched her nipple, just circling her flesh and she quivered under him. Her nipple hardened in desire. A pressure tightened in her chest and traveled lower.
"Ummm...” That feeling between her legs was growing stronger, she clenched her legs tightly together hoping for a light relief.
"Do you??
?? His voice grew harsher and more demanding, but his hands moved, just barely touching her.
Somehow she sensed he would leave her if she said yes. If she said she belonged to another man, he would disappear and she could collect her things and go off with James tonight to become his wife.
Only there was something inside of her that didn't want to say it. She didn't want to say that she belonged to James, because her heart didn't belong to James, it belonged to another man. A man she could never have. Her heart felt empty and alone, craving the one person she could not have. Yet tonight, lying in this man's arms, in her blindfolded state, she could almost believe it was Vincent's strong arms that held her.
"No,” she whispered in answer. “Tonight I belong to no one but you."
"Me? Does that mean anyone can buy your heart for the night?” he mocked. His painful words cut her to the quick.
"No one can buy me, I give myself only to those I want to. In fact, I love only one man."
"Oh, yes, and who would that be, Barbara?” Suddenly his voice was less harsh, even comforting as he spoke, so soft it was almost a whisper.
Her heart tightened as if a fist had clenched around it. She had just barely admitted it to herself that she wasn't over Vincent yet. How could she admit it to any other man? It wasn't James whom she loved. The man that she should love. The man that she was marrying.
"His name is Vincent."
Her answer was met with silence, and then suddenly he spoke, his words were raspy with unspoken need. “If you love me then marry me, Barbara."
"No, no, no. It can't be."
Vincent ripped the blindfold off her, his body draped over hers so intimately that she could feel his warmth even through the layers of his clothing. Just inches above her. Her heart tore at her chest painfully, knowing this was something she never expected.
"Marry me,” he repeated.
Tears welled in her eyes. Why would he do this to her? She already loved him. Why would he want her to marry him when he didn't love her? The worst thing about marrying him would be that he could never grow to love her. She knew of men like him. They enjoyed the physical act of sex, but never fell in love and settled down, and if they did their marriage was a string of affairs. Most of the time the wife looked the other way, becoming more and more removed from their husbands. Well, she couldn't live like that.
