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“It was good seeing you, Eve.” I don’t miss the way his voice cracks when he says my name.
I smile. It’s weak and fake, but it’s the only thing I can do to not fall apart right there in the middle of the restaurant.
My eyes meet his one final time as a single tear I can no longer hold falls.
THREE DAYS LATER . . .
“I saw Preston the other day, ” I say to Dr. Beckett as I lean forward hugging my knees to my chest. “He was with another woman.” She pauses what she’s writing, and looks up at me. The lines etched on her weathered face becoming more pronounced.
“And how did that make you feel?”
“It tore me in two. That day I arrived feeling on top of the world and ready to move forward. The ambush backfired in the cruelest of ways. It hurts to know that I lost him, but at least he looks happy and that makes me happy. The hardest part is that I have so much I need to say to him, and never had the chance. I couldn’t get past the hurt to just say it. The strength to pull him aside to talk was not there.”
“I know it must feel hard and I’m sure you’re scared of what you will find out, but I do think you need closure. I think your next step is you reaching out to him, thanking him, and then you might be ready to move on.”
“Okay.” My fragile heart doesn’t want to know if he’s moved on with Heather. From the looks at the diner, he has. I can’t blame him. She was perfect in every way. How could I expect him to wait for me? It was unrealistic for me to think he wouldn’t.
So much time has passed, and my feelings have never wavered. Unfortunately, I was too late. Regardless, I do agree I need to thank him for being instrumental to me finally finding peace with my mother and with myself.
Once back at my apartment, my eyes are glued to the blank screen in front of me. I know I have to dial. I need to find the strength, swallow my pride and stuff my emotions as far down as I can. With a shaking hand, I type the one number I’ve avoided for so long.
“Eve?” It’s him. His voice sends my heart soaring despite my every move to suppress it.
“Hi,” I squeak. “Listen, I know this is long overdue but I needed to speak with you.”
Silence fills the space between. My nerves are getting the better of me, so I rattle on. “I wanted to say thank you.” Still he says nothing. At this point I have nothing to lose, so I go on. “Meeting you, loving you . . . it was my saving grace.” I sigh. “No matter what happens, I need you to know.” I prepare to hang up as it appears he has nothing to offer, but finally he speaks.
“Meet me. I need to talk to you.” My stomach tightens in nerves.
“I don't know if that's smart. I don't want to cause problems between you and Heather,” I whisper so that he doesn’t hear how my voice cracks.
“Eve, we need to talk about that.” My heart hammers in my chest and I nod to myself, not that he can see me. “Is that a yes,” he says through the phone.
“Yes.” I stutter.
“Have you had dinner?”
“Not yet.”
“Okay, Paradise. Eight Thirty?” An hour and half to prepare to see him . . . Am I ready? Can I do this? Will I have the strength to hear whatever he has to say?
I am.
Good or bad it’s time I put this part to rest.
“Okay.” The line goes dead.
I’M GOING to be late. Shit. With fast steps, I move through the crowded streets and to the corner. My skirt flies up as a cab whooshes by.
I wonder what will happen. How everything will go down. As I wait for the light to change and the cars to pass, I look into the passing traffic. It isn’t so bad for a Tuesday evening, and walking in the crisp air is invigorating. New York City isn’t usually this chilly this time of year, but it seems spring is lingering in the air. This thought reminds me that we are only nine months away from the statue of limitation running out. I shake off the thought. No need to set myself up for more disappointment.
In a rush, I step in the door.
A short line has formed in front of me, but when the crowd parts, I come face to face with all I was hoping for. All I’ve dreamed about. Preston. His lips part into a smile as he sees me.
“Am I too late?” I whisper to myself. There’s no way he can hear me but the way his eyes pierce mine, I think . . . no, I believe he can. As I close the distance between us, it’s as though there is something tethering me to him, pulling me closer.
“Am I late?” I blurt out, my heart beating erratically.
“Nope, your timing is impeccable.” His words swallow me whole. Invade every crevice of my mind that still dares to dream.
“I was scared I was too late.” The way he looks at me, I know he understands my meaning.
“It’s never too late. It will never be too late.”
“But what about—”
“What about nothing. There was never anyone else. There is no one but you. The other day when you saw me with Heather, it meant nothing.” He extends a hand to me, his finger sweeping lightly against my jaw. “Jace was sick of me moping around, so he said I needed to date. Get out there again. Heather works in the hospital with me. She’s made her interest in me known for a long time, so I asked her out.”
“She’s in love with you.” My head tips down to look at the floor. “I should know,” I mutter.
“Yeah,” He takes a deep breath and my eyes snap back up. There’s so much emotion in his eyes but I can’t place it. “He said it would be good for me,” he repeats.
“And was it?”
“Yeah.” His voice dips low, it sends a wave of chills down my spine as I wait for him to continue. To seal my fate. “It was good because it made me realize there's no one else for me but you.”
My mouth trembles against his fingertips as all of my pent-up emotions come pouring out in fresh tears. He reaches up and collects the wetness. “I was so scared. I knew what I had to do, and I did it. But then I had to wait for it to be okay for us to be together. It felt so long, this time without you. I was so scared you’d moved on. That you forgot about me,” I stammer out.
“How could I ever forget about you? Don’t you know by now that I love you?” He pulls me into his arms and buries his head in my neck. “I love you,” he whispers into my skin before he moves his head back and his mouth connects with mine, showing me just how much.
“Okay, I get it,” I laugh into his lips. He pulls away and gives me a heart-stopping smirk.
“I’m glad you’re finally starting to catch on.” He says with a wink.
“God, I’ve missed you. It feels as if I’ve been everywhere and nowhere. Does that make sense?”
“More than you know. That’s how I’ve felt, too. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We only have to wait—”
“I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to waste another minute not being with you.” I say.
“Okay, so we won’t wait. We just have to be careful until the time passes, but are you sure you’re ready? As much as it would kill me to let you go again, you have to be sure.”
“I swear, I’ve been to hell and back. But when I lost you, I found me. God, I had so much to learn, but knowing there was a chance for us . . . I fought. I hired a new therapist, not one from your list. She’s wonderful. She’s been working with me to not need approval. She’s been helping me to forgive, and she’s been working with Mom.” His eyes widen at my words.
“Yeah, the three of us have been meeting. Dr. Beckett has been helping her to understand that it’s not her fault Dad took his life. She’s really come a long way.” Tears fill my eyes. “Last week, she came to the office with me. She’s leaving her house again. Do you know how amazing this is?”
“I’m so happy for you.” He smiles.
“You saved me, Preston.”
“No. You saved you. I only gave you some of the tools you needed.” His arms wrap around me and he holds me in his arms.
“I used to be scared, but now I’m controlling it. I’m learnin
g new coping mechanisms and I’m building myself up one day at a time. I have more to learn, but I’m working on it. I’m not perfect, and I still have nightmares sometimes, but it’s okay, because no one’s perfect.”
“To me, you’re perfect.” He runs his hand up my spine. “To me, you’re everything. You are beautiful inside and out.”
I exhale the last bit of fear that still resided in my body. The fear that I had lost him.
EPILOGUE
EVE
NINE MONTHS LATER . . .
I watch out the window as the street previously blanketed in white starts to melt away. Spring is coming, breathing warm winds and change. Like a soft lullaby to my ears, each pass of the breeze against the glass pane speaks about the promise of a new beginning. A new beginning for us . . . finally.
Warm arms slip around me and I lean back taking his embrace.
“So now that we can finally be together, where do you want to go?”
“It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.” And that’s the truth. The last nine months we have spent every free minute we could together, maybe not in public because we couldn’t be seen together. But we learned to make do. We’ve become quit creative in fun dates to take in Preston’s brownstone. We cook. We watch movies. We even have picnics in his living room and make love as often as possible. We have fallen further in love. Into an all-consuming love, the kind of love that stories are made of.
He leans down and places a kiss on my exposed shoulder.
“Now that you’re stuck with me, you promise you’ll love me in five years?” I ask and he doesn’t respond but I feel his mouth hovering over my sensitive skin.
Kiss
