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She watched them.
Tabitha saw their closeness. She could imagine they didn’t see or even care about anyone else as they were with each other. The entire world faded away and all that remained was the two of them. Like she’d been with Simon.
In that moment, she went from being able to deal, to feeling squashed.
She sipped on her soda, trying to count to ten. Trying to do anything that would ground her rioting emotions.
Her control slipped.
Stepping out of the clubhouse, she took deep breaths, but the music, it was like a drug to her mind, pulling her back. Taking hold of the memories she had and drawing them one by one to the forefront of her mind, and she couldn’t do that. She didn’t want to.
Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to keep on moving.
Lexie had told her to stay at the clubhouse for fun and games, but it was hard. Everywhere she turned, be it in Fort Wills or Piston County, they had nothing but memories. Constant, never-ending memories. All of them centered around her and Simon.
It wasn’t like he’d died, making the memories special or in any way different. That hadn’t happened at all. No, Simon was still out there, living his life to the fullest, and she, she was dying. There was no mistaking what had happened. He’d gone on to live his life and she was still stuck in the past.
Did Simon have moments of utter despair?
Did he wonder about her?
Or was he too busy fucking fighting to even think about her?
She kept on walking. Adults and children walked the streets, singing their little hearts out. A couple of kids were already vomiting from too much candy. She ignored it all and kept on walking.
The night consumed her, swallowing her whole, and she welcomed it.
If she could keep walking and not think, she’d be back in control.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
Tabitha frowned as she looked up. She’d kept on walking and now, she was in a part of town she didn’t recognize. It was dark. The street lamp up ahead was dead, and she glanced up to see some rundown shops. Windows had been smashed, and some of the letters were missing from what the signs used to say.
Spinning around, she saw a man carrying a brown-wrapped bottle. His gaze ran up and down her body.
The look reminded her of that day. Of the way Ryan looked at her.
Rather than run or scream, she dropped her hands and clenched them into fists.
“Now how did I get so lucky as to have a nice, ripe peach like you wander into my humble abode?” he said.
“I suggest you back off,” she said. She was more than ready to take him on.
Another chuckle, this time behind her. She turned and now saw two men.
Great. Just great.
Looking between each of them, she kept them within her sights, waiting, anticipating. Wondering who would strike first.
“You know, you’re making a mistake,” Tabitha said. It was on the tip of her tongue to say Devil’s name, but he wasn’t here. No one was here. Like usual, she was on her own. No surprise there. Being alone was fast becoming second nature to her, just like everything else in her life.
Always, forever alone.
Looking between each man, she knew they were going to hurt her. There was no way she was going down without a fight.
“I guess you guys want to party. Who’s going to take the first shot?” she asked.
You can do this. They’re drunk and disgusting. They don’t know you can take care of yourself.
She waited.
The man who spoke to her first came forward. She waited, the anticipation riding inside her.
Come on, fuckface. Let me see your best shot.
It wouldn’t hurt her to attempt to kill him. In fact, she hoped he came at her. She wanted to feel the pain as she took him down.
A woman she may be, but she wasn’t weak.
He reached out and she made her attack. Slamming him in the nose, she felt the bone give and heard the crack as it echoed through the night.
There was the pause. The unearthly silence that seemed to last a lifetime but was in fact only a few seconds. Neither knew what to do, and then at once, the man howled in pain as he charged at her. At the same time, his friend came. Grabbing the man who’d tried to touch her first, she shoved him against his friend while also nailing him in the crotch. He went down, crying out.
As she was shoved against the ground, she didn’t have time to stop her fall before the second man gripped her hair and tugged her head back.
She screamed, sank her nails into his hand, and tore.
He dropped her down.
Getting to her feet, she wasn’t fast enough as a fist went for her face. Someone grabbed her around the waist and threw her against the brick wall.
