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The door opens and Zoey looks out at me. She seems worse by the hour, her uniform disheveled and her hair falling out of her ponytail. Her eyes are red-rimmed and she looks exhausted. "Hey. You doing okay?" She rubs a hand over her face. "How's the carinoux settling in?"
"He's fine. I should ask how you're doing."
She gives me a weak smile. "Checked comm bands all night looking for mentions of my brothers, or three mesakkah prisoners picked up…nothing. Sentorr wants me to sleep, but…" She shrugs. "I can't sleep. My mind won't shut off."
"I brought you something," I say. "It's…not much. I've probably read it dozens of times at this point, but it helps distract me when I need a distraction." I hold the worn, thick paperback out to her. It's hard to part with it when I have so little, but it also feels like the right thing to do.
Her eyes open wide in surprise. "You sure you want to do this? I know how rare books are out here." Her hand skims over the cover affectionately. "I think Fran mentioned this once. I've never read it."
"It's very romantic," I tell her enthusiastically. "The hero is just…perfect. And there's Scots. And kilts. And really great love scenes."
Zoey smiles, gesturing at the quarters she shares with her mate. "You want to come in and sit? I could use a distraction."
"I don't want to be a bother—"
She rolls her eyes and grabs my arm, hauling me into the room. "You're not a bother. You're my sister."68JERROKIt's a long keffing day.
Everyone on the Jabberwock is nice, of course. Our quarters are cozy, even if we have to share with the carinoux. Sentorr pilots us smoothly out of the asteroid belt without so much as a jostle, and Alyvos and Tarekh talk weapons with me for most of the day, appreciative of the cache of blasters and pulse grenades I've brought with me. There's a big bowl of hot noodles for meals, and…it's pleasant.
Still worries me, of course.
It's not the brothers. Or the fact that I'm away from my station. I expected that going in, and I'm prepared to be surrounded by people for the next while, even if it isn't my favorite. The crew here aren't so bad, and there's plenty of room on board the ship to spread out. We're going to be “sliding” through shipping lanes at high speed for the next week, so there won't be much to do except wait for the next refueling…unless we get information on the va Sithai of course. Something tells me that we won't.
Mealtime is pleasant. There's even a few games of sticks in the rec room after dinner, and Sophie seems to want to watch, so I sit on one of the overstuffed couches that are near-impossible for a stiff half-cyborg to get out of easily. And I watch my female as she laughs and watches, bright-eyed, as Cat and Tarekh argue over sticks, the carinoux lounging at her feet. She tries to pull in Zoey, but the other female is content just to watch, and eventually leaves to go join her mate on the bridge.
When Fran and Kivian leave for the night with their child, I see Sophie yawning and decide it's a good time for us to escape, too. I make a fool of myself trying to get out of the couch, and when I finally do, my limbs start acting up. They sizzle and send noisy feedback through my body, and when we get into our room, she settles Sleipnir in the corner with something to chew on, and then attends to me.
"Let me help," Sophie protests when I try to push her hands away irritably.
"I'm not an invalid."
"I know you're not. But I can help, and I want to." She ignores my efforts to push her away and runs her soothing hands over the worst circuits, which she knows by heart at this point. She hums to herself and takes care of me, and I'm an ass because she really does help. She can reach places that I can't, and her lighter touch and smaller fingers do the trick more often than not.
"Thanks," I mutter when the last circuit stops its irritating jumping.
"Why are you in a bad mood?" she asks, sliding her arms around my neck and moving to sit in my lap. "Is something bothering you?"
Here I was, thinking I was hiding my foul mood a little better than I am. How to explain to her that being on the Jabberwock terrifies me? Because I see her laughing and talking with the others, and how easily she fits in. I see her whispering with Zoey. I see her spending time with Fran and even now she's wearing a new tunic that she got from one of the other women. I see all this…and I'm not jealous. I'm worried that she's going to realize that she wants to be around people, and that staying with me on my lonely station is a bad idea. That being around a fun, boisterous group like the Jabberwock's crew is going to remind her that she could see the universe with the va Sithai, and that she wants to do more than just hole up with a broken old soldier.
