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I like helping him out. It makes me feel like we're a team. Like he can count on me.
And because I'm working in a separate area of the hangar bay, I don't have to listen to Bethiah's stories about the last bounty run she did, or the convicts she dragged back to the prison planet and cashed in on. I can let my mind wander and think about Jerrok.
I think about tonight.
I'm really going to kiss him. It's been a long time since I've truly kissed someone with tongue. I've had to kiss the occasional alien back in the day—or an alien's human pet—for their amusement at our “disgusting” human traditions. Those don't count, though. They weren't to share a special moment, to be intimate with someone. No one looked at me with such intense yearning and longing as Jerrok did when he asked to kiss me back.
He won't find it gross, I suspect.
I…wonder if he'll call me a good girl if I let him touch me. The thought makes me shiver all over, my nipples getting hard. I never knew I liked hearing something like that, but it's the way Jerrok says it, all warm, sultry praise, as if I'm being the bravest, sexiest creature alive just for touching myself. I press my thighs together at the thought, imagining him telling me what a good girl I am as he slides his hand between my thighs.
Oh fuck. I like that idea too, too much. I bite back a whimper and pull apart a cluster of wires.
I keep thinking about that idea all through dinner, as Bethiah continues to dominate the conversation. I eat my noodles quietly, imagining the look in Jerrok's eyes as he gets into bed with me and finds me wet—because I know I'm wet right now. I've been thinking about touching all day and I'm practically pulsing with need. Jerrok is mostly quiet through dinner, too, letting his cousin carry the conversation and stealing the occasional glance at me. I know what he's thinking—he can't wait for her to leave.
I can't, either. When I first came out here, I couldn't understand how someone could live so remotely, so very alone. Now I understand it and I can't wait for Bethiah to leave. There's a coziness to it being just the two of us here, like we're in our own little safe bubble at the edge of the universe.
Eventually, Bethiah yawns and pushes away from the table, ending her story. "I guess I'd better go torment my prisoner for a bit before I feed him."
"Torment?" I ask, worried. "Are you torturing him?" I knew Bethiah sometimes did unsavory things for her job, but I didn't think…
The bounty hunter only grins. "Singing. He loooooves my singing."
Jerrok snorts. "You mean croaking."
"You hush."
I get to my feet. "I'll go put fresh blankets on my bed." It'll give me a moment to compose myself, even if I'm practically trembling with anticipation. "Will you feed Sleipnir for me, Jerrok?"
"On it," he says.
I head down the hall, pulling fresh blankets out of the cleanser unit in the wall and heading toward my old room. When I go through the doorway, though, I see Bethiah casually seated on the edge of the bed, smirking at me. "You can save the blankets, precious. I'm gonna sleep on my ship. Poor Jamef gets lonely if I wander too far away."
"Oh. All right, then." I hug the blankets to my chest. "Do you need anything?"
"That's so cute. You act like you already live here." She gets to her feet and saunters over to me, grinning. "I know I said some harsh things earlier—"
"You threatened to rip me apart limb from limb."
"—And I meant it." She puts her hands on my shoulders and beams. "I will. But I also want to tell you to be good to my cousin. I know he acts all gruff and mean, but he's a fragile soul. Always has been."
That makes me scowl. "He's not fragile. He's the strongest person I know."
"Mmm. Interesting." She taps a finger on the tip of my nose. "I like that you defend him."
Why wouldn't I? He deserves to have someone stick up for him. I know he can take care of himself, but this universe has shit on him enough. Of course I feel protective of him. I have feelings for him. "I'm just saying. He's had to put up with a lot."
"Mmm, so he has. Just reiterating my warning." She pats my shoulder and then walks away.
I think for a moment and then call out. "Hey, Bethiah?" When she turns around, I plunge on ahead. "You know more about things than I do. How much do new prosthetics cost? For Jerrok? His are constantly on the verge of malfunctioning." I think about the way he grimaces in the morning, about how the circuits twitch and jump sometimes, about how he limps heavily. He lives in pain daily and I want to take that away from him. I know it might not be possible to eliminate it all, but surely new limbs could help.
