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51SOPHIE"You…you still want to touch me?"
I don't know why the thought makes me so shy. Why shouldn't he touch me? I've given him pleasure, why shouldn't he turn around and give me some? But it's been so long since anyone has thought about my needs that I sometimes forget about them myself. This week has been a revelation, unlocking that sexual side of me again…and yet it's all been one-sided. For some reason, I thought I'd pleasure Jerrok, and then we'd cuddle into bed together and go to sleep.
That he's asking for more sends a ping of alarm through me.
Jerrok nods, stroking my hair. "I can smell just how turned on you are, Sophie. You've given me a gift; let me do the same for you."
I hesitate.
"You're nervous. Tell me why."
"I don't know why," I admit. "I guess because it's different."
"Let us talk it through. Do you think I will hurt you?" His tone is gentle, easy, his fingers stroking my hair, my neck, my cheek. It's like he can't stop touching me. "Or take advantage of you in some way?"
I consider this. "No…"
"Do you think that I will do something you don't like, and ignore you if you ask me to stop?"
"No."
"Are you worried I will maul you or bruise you?" He extends one hand and we both hear it creak loudly. "Because of these?"
"Not at all." Greatly daring, I reach out and brush my fingers over his mouth. His lips are darkened and slightly swollen, and I realize he must have been biting them while I had his cock in my mouth. I love that. I love that my touch made him feel so good.
"Then talk it through with me," he says, voice reasonable, gaze easy. "If it is not me you are afraid of, is it…yourself?"
"It sounds silly, doesn't it?" I whisper.
"Not at all." He runs his thumb along my jaw, then lightly touches my ear, and I lean into the caress. "I have never told anyone this, but when I first got my prosthetics…I spent two or three months seated. I did not walk unless the medical caregivers forced me to. I was afraid that they would not work right, or they would not work for me, and I did not want to get my hopes up. I did not like the way my changed body felt. It was easier to have no expectations of anything."
I nod, pressing a kiss into his big hand. "I just…what if I don't like it?"
"Then I will stop. It is as simple as that."
"But…what if your touch bothers me?" A small curl of shame rises in my belly.
"Does it bother you right now?" he asks, fingers gliding along my neck. "Or when my mouth meets yours?" When I shake my head in denial, he continues. "Then we will focus on the things that you like and go from there." He smiles at me. "We can take it one day at a time, one step at a time. If you do not want me to touch you this night, then I will not. But I wanted to ask, because I wanted you to realize how badly I want to touch you, too."
I know he does. It's in the avid way he looks at me, the way his hands keep touching me constantly. It's in the way he calls me his good girl when I touch myself, and how he talks me through every orgasm. He lets me know that he's there with me every step of the way…so why does this feel so big and terrifying?
I suspect it's because I'm afraid that he'll touch me, and I'll go to a bad place, and it'll ruin any hope I have of us having any sort of joy together. "Will you hate me if I don't like it?" I ask, trembling.
"Never. Like I said, we will find things you do like and go from there. You are only as broken as you let yourself be, Sophie. It took me time to get out of my chair and to walk with my new limbs, but I did. I just had to take that first step. You do, too."
I manage an awkward smile. "You re-learning how to walk is a very different thing than me worrying about sex."
He shrugs. "We have both had bad things in our past. I do not mind the comparison. You shouldn't, either. Now, tell me that we are done, and I will climb into this bed and hold you until you fall asleep…or tell me that we are not done, and I will finally get to pet that pretty little cunt of yours that gets so very wet for me."
My breath catches. My lips part. I gaze at him, arousal flooding through my system at his bold words. "We're not done."
