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I didn’,t but I was too much of a gentleman to tell Sophie as much. “We’ve had a date, all right? We had a good time, but Tara and I aren’t looking for the same things at the moment. So,” I sighed and rubbed my hands together, hoping this would be the end of the matter, “that’s that, I guess.”
“Stubborn asses,” Eva muttered to herself. “All right Chris, we’ll give you some time to think about what we’ve told you. And then we’ll play hard ball.” She flashed a sickly sweet smile as she pushed Sophie towards the door. “Talk soon. Bye, now!”
I felt blindsided by the meddling matchmakers, but as soon as I was on my own with my thoughts again, I couldn’t help but think about their words. About the over ninety percent compatibility rating. About Tara.
She had a lot going for her. She was beautiful, smart and talented, a professional who was looking for a partner rather than a caretaker. She was funny as hell, and gave me grief better than anyone but my own mother. But she was also an officer of the law, which meant her job came with inherent danger. Any day she could walk out of the house, never to return.
And where would that leave Lila? Alone and grieving the loss of another mother in her life.
I couldn’t do that to her.
I wouldn’t.
I needed to talk to Tara. Right away.
A quick look at the clock told me I still had almost two hours before Lila finished the after school holiday crafts fair with her friend, which meant I had time. Time to seek out Tara and stop things before they went too far. It was late enough in the day that I decided to stop at her house first.
Tara opened the door with a blank expression. “Chris. What are you doing here?”
It wasn’t the most excited greeting I’d ever gotten, but it was pretty much what I’d come to expect from the pretty cop. “I came to talk to you. Is now a good time?”
“Not really, but you’re already here so, come on in.” She sounded tired, exhausted really, but still she was willing to make time for me. “Is everything all right?”
I nodded silently because there was no good way to answer that question. “I think so. Sure.”
She huffed out a laugh and shook her head. “That’s pretty clear. Want something to drink?”
“You have any root beer?” It wasn’t the most masculine beverage option, but I didn’t need alcohol for this conversation, but I did need a distraction.
“Uh, I think so.” Tara left the living room and I took a quick moment to look around. There were papers and books scattered on the coffee table and the sofa and I realized I’d interrupted her study time. “Here you go. Take a sip and tell me why you’re so nervous.”
Nervous was a good way to describe how I was feeling, which brought me up short. Why was I nervous when I was simply prepared to do what I needed to do, which was the right thing for me and my kid?
“It’s not nerves, per se.”
“Okay, then whatever it is, can you just say it please? I’m on a schedule too.” She didn’t sound annoyed, just tired and that made me feel bad that I had to do this now.
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I can’t do this. I mean, I don’t think we should do this.” There. I said the words. They were out there and Tara was absorbing them. So why did I immediately want to yank the words out of the air?
“This? You mean us hanging out?” I nodded and she let out a huff of laughter. “Okay. I see. You’re right. Thanks for coming by.” Tara had a small smug smirk on her face that I couldn’t quite understand as she walked across her living room, leaving a big chasm between us.
“Wait, that’s it?”
She stopped in her tracks and nodded, slowly turning to me. “What did you think I would do, Chris? Beg you when I told you this was a bad idea? I don’t think so.”
“Then why are you so upset?” Truthfully it was a bit of a relief that she was at least a little upset. It meant she felt like we were both missing out on something.
“Don’t worry Chris, I’m more upset with myself for thinking you were any different. Oh sure, you use prettier words that make you seem like a good guy, but I see things clearly now. So like I said, thanks for stopping by, but I have stuff to do.”
I stood, offended at her words, and crossed my arms, glaring at her. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean? I am a good guy!”
“Right. A good guy who pushed for something he knew he didn’t want, and only made the decision it wouldn’t work after he realized he wouldn’t be able to get some no strings sex.”
