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“Uh-huh.” She fidgeted with her hands nervously, eyes as wide as saucers as she waited for me to voice my opinion.
“It’s incredible, Lila. You sure you want me to keep this amazing work of art?” I couldn’t help the tears that formed, stinging my eyes as I took in the care she’d taken with every little detail from the freckle on my chin to the wayward cowlick on the crown of Chris’ head. “It’s beautiful.”
“You really like it?” I could tell my answer meant a lot to Lila and I nodded with as much energy as I could muster.
“I love it, Lila. Really.”
“You do?” Her excitement was palpable as she waited for my response.
“Yep. There’s just one problem.”
“What is it, Tara?”
“Where am I going to put it?” We shared a laugh and I relaxed against the sofa. “I’ll have to find the perfect spot for it.”
“Why don’t we think about it while we eat?” Chris shoved both hands in his pocket but there was nothing to be done about the blush staining his face red. “I hear pizza is excellent brain food.”
I wasn’t sure about pizza being a brain food but it certainly hit the spot and since everyone loved pizza, the table was nice and quiet which gave me plenty of time to think. Too much time, almost. All I could think about was how right this all felt, having a quiet dinner around the table with Chris and Lila.
It shouldn’t feel right because it wasn’t. It was just a really nice little girl trying to make me feel better. Nothing more.
“Can I watch TV now?” Lila’s abrupt question broke through the silence and Chris’ hazel eyes widened in question.
“Sure. Let me help you find something appropriate.” I moved to stand in order to make sure I didn’t scar the little girl for life with my endless queue of crime shows and documentaries.
Chris put a hand to my shoulder to keep my butt in the chair. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t find anything too grownup.” When I went to argue, he gave my shoulder a squeeze and the winked.
Winked!
What was this all about? As soon as he came back I would ask because this man who had been so clear was now the master of mixed messages and I didn’t like it. Not at all. Not one damn bit, in fact. “What is going on?”
Chris froze at the head of the table and rubbed a hand over his head. “What do you mean?”
I pointed at him. “That right there, that little coquettish smirk of yours. What’s it all about?”
“Coquettish? Can a man be coquettish?” His smile was full of mischief and far too damn amused for my liking. “I’ll have to look into that.”
“Don’t try to be cute, Chris. It’s not your specialty.”
“No?” He pouted and rounded the table to take another slice of pizza. “What is my specialty?”
“Mixed messages,” I told him bluntly. “So tell me what’s going on right now or get out.” I was tired and nothing in my life was going how it should at the moment, so maybe I was a little harsher than I needed to be, but that was my prerogative.
Chris sighed and nodded, almost absently, while he chewed. His demeanor turned thoughtful. “That’s fair.”
“Ya think?” The words came out on a sarcastic snort that was definitely not ladylike.
“Lila’s mom called he other day.”
I nodded. “You’re getting back together?” That’s why it was okay that we were friends again, that I could be an influence in Lila’s life. It made sense. Sort of.
“Hell no. Not ever in one billion years.” Chris let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. “Not even close, detective.”
“Not if I don’t pass the test,” I said automatically.
“You will,” he said with confidence and took another obnoxiously big bite of pizza, chewing slowly to draw out my anticipation. “Talking to Cassie made me see what an idiot I was being. About you. About us. Cassie left because she wanted to, because she wanted a life bigger and more luxurious than she thought I could provide her with and Lila never factored into her decision. Ever.”
I nodded, uncomfortable hearing about his ex, which was ridiculous. That was a feeling for a girlfriend or a woman he was dating, not someone who’d gone on a couple dates with him. “I get it, Chris. I might not have liked the way you put it, but I understand. In fact, I agree with you about Lila.”
“You do?” His brows dipped low and Chris sat forward, leaning on his elbows, serious hazel eyes boring into mine.
“I do. Even though leaving because I’m dead isn’t the same as choosing to leave, I get that she’s a kid and won’t get the difference until much later. So you don’t need to rehash with me. I get it.” I still didn’t like it but I got it. “You’re trying to be a good dad.”
