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Nate shook his head, clearly disgusted by the fact that I even existed. “I’m not interested in having a sister.”
“Obviously,” I shot back as the sting of tears burned behind my eyes. “I understand. I’m just sorry it only occurred to me that you’d feel that way, once I landed on your doorstep. I really am sorry,” I told him as my voice broke. Embarrassed at my display of emotions, I pushed pass them both in my hurry to get on the other side of my front door, but I had a pizza in one hand and pepper spray in the other.
“Let me help,” Jase offered kindly, but I couldn’t handle kindness. Not now.
“I can do it,” I told him and set the pizza down, unlocking the door roughly and kicking it open so I could just pick up the box and disappear inside, which I did.
A gentle knock sounded just as I kicked off my sneakers and I shook my head, wiped my tears and opened the door like nothing had happened. “Yes?”
It was Jase, looking sweet and contrite, which only pissed me off. “Nate is protective of Mikki, especially after her second difficult pregnancy, but he’s also just Nate. Gruff and short, but I love him anyway.” The affection he had for his brother spoke volumes, and jealousy churned in my gut. “If you really want to get to know us, you can call or email me.”
A soft sob escaped at his kind offer, and I shook my head even as I accepted the scrap of paper. “Thank you, Jase, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’ want to cause any problems with your family.” Of which I was clearly not a part, at least not in any way that mattered. They were a family and I was, well I was alone.
“I’ve been handling Nate since I was a kid, Joss. Let me worry about him.” His smile came easy and playful, and I wondered if that was something he’d inherited from our father. That thought only made me want to cry harder because I was clear I would never get the answer.
“Thank you,” I whispered before I closed and locked the door, this time for real.
After that unexpected encounter with Nate and Jase, because I could no longer think of them as my brothers, I wasn’t in the mood to eat and shoved the pizza in the fridge before I jumped into a hot shower and fell into bed and cried myself to sleep.
At least I would be well rested for the game tomorrow.
Ben
I’d spent a few hours at The Mayflower with Xander and Liam after last night’s football game in hopes that I might run into Joss and cross that apology off my list. She didn’t show up, and I’d indulged in a few too many beers in an effort to forget that constant look of hurt in her blue eyes, which I now regretted as I stood on the metal bleachers assigned to the away team for the girl’s soccer playoffs.
I didn’t need to show up for the game since it wasn’t technically part of my job as principal, but the girl’s team hadn’t made it this far into the season in five seasons and the boy’s soccer team still hadn’t enjoyed a winning season after seven years. I wanted to support these girls, and sure it helped that the woman coaching them was the one currently stuck inside my head.
I showed up to support the team, and in hopes of getting a moment alone with Joss.
Her blond hair was pulled into a familiar high ponytail and her skin was so pale that her blue eyes looked like giant jewels from where I stood. She had on what I liked to call her coaching uniform, a PHS Girls Soccer windbreaker with the school mascot, a cartoon pirate, with matching pants and bright green and pink sneakers. Thick pink lines circled her eyes, giving off the impression she’d been crying recently, a thought that was like a kick in the stomach. I wasn’t arrogant enough to assume it was because of me, but the thought had crossed my mind.
More than once.
My spot in the stands gave me the perfect chance to observe her, to watch the way she interacted with the players, treating them like the young adults they were without losing her position of authority. It had taken me a long time to get used to that part of working with high schoolers, but it came naturally to Joss.
When sadness swamped her she would physically shake it off, paste on a smile and clap her hands to refocus her attention back to the players and the game, which only made me wonder what, or who, had put that sadness in her eyes. After a missed goal, Joss wrapped an arm around the girl, said something that made the girl smile and then hold up an expectant fist.
