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“Good job girls!” I blew the whistle and motioned for them to gather around as we did at the end of each practice.
“I totally screwed the pooch on that kick, Coach Callahan. I’m sorry.” Shelly’s shoulders fell in disappointment and I couldn’t help but smile. The girl placed too much on her delicate shoulders, but she would succeed in whatever she did. I was sure of it.
“You just kicked too hard, Shelly. Take a breath and then kick. It’s a soccer ball, not your ex’s face.” That sent the girls into a round of laughter. “We’ll work in it tomorrow.”
“Promise?”
“Absolutely. We only have a few more days until the next game, so I’m here for whatever you need. We win this one, and I think we will, we’re two games away from being the champs. Again.” A round of loud cheers and claps went up around the field. “One more thing girls.”
“Run a few laps,” Becky, a junior, joked.
“One more interruption and it might be on the table,” I shot back with a smile. “I just wanted to say how proud I am of you ladies this season. Not only have you done everything asked of you to get this far into the season, but all of you have at least a B average and that’s just incredible. You should all be proud of what you’ve accomplished this year, because I am damn proud of you.”
The girls all flashed proud smiles, some were shy about it and others stood a little taller and smiled a little brighter. It was an incredible thing, to see these girls coming into being young, accomplished, college-bound women.
“Okay, now practice is dismissed. Get outta here!”
You wouldn’t know it was the end of a two hour practice with he way they ran full speed towards the locker rooms, but that was the beauty of youth. They were full of endless wells of energy whereas I was exhausted from the simple act of avoiding Ben, of pretending as if my heart wasn’t shattering into a million pieces every time I saw him laughing with a group of teachers.
It was just another thing to laugh bitterly about when I was alone, the awkwardness of trying to avoid my ex who was also, technically, my boss. In a strange way, I now understood why Ben didn’t want to get romantically involved with someone at work. The avoidance just made me feel petty and immature, but the awkwardness was unbearable.
“Hey Coach C, you have a minute?” Tanisha’s voice pulled me from my silly thoughts and I turned with a small as I shoved the last soccer ball into the bag.
“What’s up, Tanisha?”
“I got a scholarship offer! A full ride too and it’s all thanks to you.”
“You got your grades up and kept them up Tanisha, and you’re the one out on the field, not me. Great job.”
“Thanks but without you riding my as, ah, butt, we both know I’d be trying to get a job waiting tables for the next hundred years. You think I’ll do well in Florida?”
“I think you’re the type of woman who will do well wherever she lands, Tanisha. Florida isn’t that far to go for a free education, because then you can go wherever you want, even right back to Pilgrim.”
She let out an obnoxious laugh. “If I can avoid that fate, I will.”
“Then go and when you graduate, go somewhere else. The choice is yours.”
“Thanks Coach.” In an uncharacteristic show of emotion, she wiped away a tear, hugged me and then ran off, which suited me just fine since I was a little emotional myself.
Moments like those are why all good teachers do this work and it happened so rarely that each act of gratitude was memorable. Tanisha’s words put a little pep in my step and made me feel a less childish for walking around the building rather than through it to get to my car in the staff parking lot.
It was ridiculous, I knew that, but for now it was the best plan I had.
“Hoping to avoid me?” Ben’s silhouette, rather than his deep voice, startled me out of my thoughts and pulled a loud scream from me.
My heart thundered and I did my best not to look him directly in the eyes, for my own peace. When my heart rate was under control, I nodded. “Yes,” I answered honestly. There was no point pretending I wasn’t avoiding him.
Ben’s shoulders fell and hurt flashed in his eyes. “Do you hate me that much?”
“No Ben, I don’t you.”
“Good,” he flashed a smile and stood taller, squaring his shoulders and puffing his chest out a little. “Then you’ll have dinner with me tonight?”
I wondered when he would try to act like nothing had changed between us, wondered if he would offer up another cursory outing meant to appease me. It had come much sooner than I would’ve thought and though I was tempted, beyond tempted, one of us had to be the adult. “No, I won’t. We don’t do that anymore and even if we did, I have plans.” The dumbfounded look of surprise on his face was exactly what I needed to boost my courage for dinner tonight.
