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“Oh, boy. Where's that, Mom? Can we go?” Mark asked, as he shut the back door and then fought to get out of his boots.
I turned the stove to a lower setting and sat on the floor to help him, putting the phone down momentarily and then grabbing it again once I could.
“Ang, I need to get Mark warmed up. Let me call you back later this evening.”
“Sure thing. And seriously, think about it for Mark. It’ll be from one to five tomorrow. Conveniently, neither team is playing.”
“You would know, Ang.”
She was the only woman I had ever met that was legitimately into watching sports. I’d known women who tried to grasp it for their man’s sake, but not Angela—she was in it for her own sake. She knew everything about every local pro baseball, football and hockey player. I never asked her how that happened, but I supposed she viewed my obsession with estate sales and antiques with the same disdain and disinterest.
It looked like we’d be going tomorrow, and I was sure that Angela had heard Mark come in and knew as well as I did that it was a done deal by that point. I could never say no to Mark. It wasn’t as if we had any plans anyway, other than church in the morning. Then just another exciting Sunday of lounging and puttering around the house.
I knew that if we didn’t go, David would tell Mark all about the fun he had missed, the next time they were at Pee Wee practice together, and Mark would be angry with me. So, it was probably best to go enjoy the afternoon. The event didn’t cost anything, after all.
Despite my pride, that sounded appealing to me. Looking around, I knew I couldn’t afford another added expense. Even with fundraising, Mark’s football program had a hefty registration fee, but once Angela had registered David, there was really no way of denying Mark the experience.
I always tried to put any decision through the ‘What would James do’ or WWJD test, because I didn’t want Mark to miss out on the experiences a father would grant him just because he didn’t have one. And I knew that James would have found a way to make Pee Wee football work.
Of course, money also wasn’t as tight back when James was alive. Also, while football wasn’t my thing, the sport was safer these days, especially for the young kids. Having the structure and male influences in Mark’s life, as well as the daily teamwork, hadn’t turned out to be a bad thing for him, either.
Throughout the day, Mark alternated between playing outside more, and sitting inside watching his cartoons. It was like he was in Heaven; he loved snow days.
Later that evening, I helped Mark with his bath, making sure he cleaned behind his ears, and got him dried off and into his Power Rangers pajamas. Usually, Mark was allowed to play 30 minutes of video games after his bath and before bed, but tonight he was exhausted from the long day of playing outside and he quickly said his prayers and jumped into bed.
I picked up the phone and called Angela.
“Okay, Ang. You win.”
“I know,” she laughed. “I heard Mark’s excitement. I’m surprised you waited so long to call me and tell me what I already knew.”
“Yeah. I was busy with Mark and also trying to set up some Christmas decorations. So, I’ll swing by and pick you and David up at 12:45?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We chatted the rest of the evening. Angela’s husband was deployed overseas and neither of us ever had any Saturday night plans, so we usually got comfortable after the boys fell asleep and talked about everything in our lives, always staying away from talk of the future while Angela’s husband remained gone.
I was grateful to have a friend like her in my life, even though she couldn’t really understand what I had been through since James’ death. No one could, unless they had lost the father of their child.
James and I had had our issues but were together for Mark’s sake, and that added a level of guilt to his death and grief to my loss that was hard to deal with, even with the help of a good therapist. Sometimes when I felt as if I was at my wit’s end, I did my best to think positively and remain grateful.
At least I still had my son. And Angie’s friendship. Sure, I hadn’t dated anyone since James had passed away and I probably never would, due to being so busy, but I had other things that mattered in life, and I didn’t need a guy. Or that was what I told myself, anyway.Chapter 3NeilI woke up early Sunday morning. Last night was the first Saturday night I hadn’t gone out in months, and I felt the difference. If I showed up to a family event hungover, there would be hell to pay on Monday. So, I had stayed sober and felt a lot better for it.
