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"No problem Mr. Kingsley, just...er...."
"What?!"
He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "How do you spell that?"
Something in my mind snapped. I stood up like I was being pulled by an invisible force and stalked towards the elevators, leaving Oliver gaping open mouthed as the doors closed behind me.
Once down in the lobby, I pushed open the front doors into the autumn chill. The weather had finally turned, and late October wind blew away some of the rage that was clouding my thoughts. I lifted my phone and held it to my ear. When it went to voicemail, I started to speak.
"Kia, I know why you left. I understand. But I need you to know that I miss you. I miss you more than you...more than I can even understand. Please, call me, text me, something. I need to see you. No, that's not right. I just...need you. Kia. Please."
The voicemail beeped loudly in my ear, cutting me off with a menu of options. I stabbed my finger on the off button and shoved it back into my pocket.
That was when I felt it starting to vibrate. My heart pounded in my throat as I raised it back up to my ear. I swallowed hard. "Hi there," I said softly.
"Hi," she replied.
A million thoughts raced through my head when I heard her voice, but the only thing I could say was the only thing I needed in that moment. "Can I see you?"
She waited so long I thought I had dropped the call. "Okay," she finally breathed.
Nakia
¤ ¤ ¤
I hung up the phone and instantly regretted my weakness. I should have never agreed to see him.
"He has a right to know," I told my sour looking reflection. "It's only fair."
I dressed carefully, down to my shoes, closing the strap around my ankle. Soon I wouldn't be able to wear shoes like this, I mused. I had better make the most of it now.
The knock on my door came more quickly than I realized. For a moment I felt embarrassed to let him see my tiny studio. He had a French chateau for heaven's sake, my whole apartment could probably fit into his smallest bathroom.
But then I told myself to shut the hell up. I was proud of what I had accomplished and being able to rent a studio on my own as a student was a fucking accomplishment. I refused to be embarrassed.
But when I opened my front door, my cheeks flamed all the same. Zachary Kingsley just looked insanely out of place in the cramped, poorly lit landing outside of my door. His broad shoulders nearly brushed against the wall on either side of him, and the gorgeous cut of his suit was entirely at odds with the slumped and bowed walls that surrounded him. He looked like the most solid thing in the building.
Zach's eyes darted past mine and swept over the inside of my apartment. He was curious about me, I realized with a start. Those quick, discerning eyes were taking everything in, disseminating it and filing it away for future use. For a moment I wondered if there was something he saw in there that would inspire his next collection. In that moment, I could almost let myself relax.
But I couldn't relax, not yet. This wasn't a date, I reminded myself. No matter how elegant he looked in his suit. No matter how carefully I had chosen my clothes. This was the last time I would see him before I said goodbye forever.
If only I could make my skipping heartbeat believe that.
"Hi Kia," he said softly, clasping his hands firmly behind his back. He doesn't want to risk touching me I realized. I was both sad and grateful.
"Hello Zach." My voice was calm, but if he put his hand on my neck, he would be able to feel my pulse fluttering like a hummingbird.
"Do you have a jacket? I thought we could walk."
That startled me. I imagined slipping into the back of his car, the driver at attention. Walking next to Zach, having to see the way he moved....
I wasn't sure I was strong enough to resist that.
He nodded as I pulled my favorite lined blazer from the wall. "Another of your creations?" he said approvingly.
I looked at him, slightly startled. "Yes," I said, brushing my hand over the wool crepe. "It's a little warm for today but..."
"But the drape of it really works with the collar of your dress," he finished.
I paused and looked down. "It really does," I murmured. I hadn't realized that when I was reaching for it out of habit. But Zach's eye, that celebrated unerring eye, had seen right away that those two pieces just went together.
"You have a gift, Kia," he murmured.
Suddenly he was too close to me. His nearness threatened to overwhelm me. I darted past him, slamming my door shut and nearly stumbling up the stairs to street level. I needed cool air before his body heat melted me from the inside out.
It was Friday night, and the crush of people out on the sidewalk nearly lifted me from my feet. For one desperate moment it was a repeat of my first day at Kingsley all over again. I pinwheeled my arms wildly, trying not to fall over.
And then suddenly my forward momentum stopped. Zach looked me full in the eye as he gently steadied me. I took a deep breath, ready to thank him, but my words died away when my eyes fell on his lips.
Everything in my body yearned toward him at once. The need to kiss him, the hunger that I had been denying since the day I left Kingsley, was suddenly undeniable. I caught myself craning my neck, lifting my lips to his.
"Ah, thanks...," I sputtered, pulling back before I did any more permanent damage.
Zach's face fell, but he composed himself quickly. "No problem," he said, more gently than I had ever heard him speak. He pressed his hand to the small of my back, guiding me in the direction of the restaurant. I waited for him to drop his hand back down again once he had turned me the right way.
But then he didn't.
I swallowed hard as he guided me, swiftly and safely through the crowd. They parted around him like he was Moses at the Red Sea, and all around us I saw women's heads turn when they saw Zachary. I saw frank desire on their faces and frank envy when they saw him touching me. I smiled and tossed my head, forgetting for a moment how complicated everything had become and just relishing the pride that came with being squired about town by a gorgeous man.
Because Zach was gorgeous. In my self-imposed hiatus, I had somehow managed to convince myself that he wasn't as incredible as my memory insisted. But now that I was next to him again, with my eyes free to wander over his tall, broad frame, taking in the incredible cheekbones, the squareness of his jaw, the long, straight nose, those incredibly soft lips....
I caught our reflection in the plateglass windows of the storefronts we passed and I couldn't deny that we made a good-looking couple; with his dark hair falling in waves that were slightly too long and rumpled, his white skin contrasting with my black. In fact, with his sharply cut suit and my one of a kind wardrobe, we actually wouldn't look all that out of place in a fashion spread...that is, if things were somehow completely different.
The absurdity of my situation suddenly overwhelmed me. Try as I might, I could not suppress the frantic giggle that bubbled up between my lips.
"What are you laughing about?" he asked as he scanned traffic to guide us safely across the street.
"I don't even know," I confessed. "Sorry."
He shot me a sharp look. "No, tell me, please."
I swallowed, grateful for the distraction of traffic. "It's nothing. This is just funny, that's all. I, uh, I pictured us moving quickly through traffic in one of your cars or something. Like all private and discreet. But instead I feel like you're parading me around like you want to be seen with me."
I giggled again but my laughter died away when he stopped and turned to me.
"Why
wouldn't I want to be seen with you?"
"No reason," I demurred.
Zach gripped my arm, hard. "Answer me, Nakia. Why in the world would you think I wouldn't want to be seen with you?"
I tried to explain but the words wouldn't come. I was reduced to just gesturing helplessly at his suit, his shoes...at him.
He shook his head, his lips pressed together angrily. "Yes, I want to be seen with you, and that's why I chose this place for dinner," he said, gesturing to the doors in front of us. "We're going to sit down and enjoy a meal together like we should have from the very start."
He turned to the door, opening it with such a flourish that I giggled again in spite of his harsh words.
