And she rolls on the blanket we’ve spread out on the deck, trying to pull it tighter around us and the lump of Ares at our feet as she looks up at me.
She’s wearing an oversized cardigan over her dress and her hair is in a messy bun. No makeup.
Freckles everywhere.
Goddamn, I love the freckles.
I love that she doesn’t race to the nearest salon to eradicate them whenever they pop up like some of the women I’ve been with.
I have the absurd urge to count them and commit them to memory, just so I can know how many she has.
“You know,” she says with a half laugh, “I don’t think I’ve seen you happy.”
“Terrible news.” I wave a lazy hand. “I have a reputation to keep as Leonidas’ asshole grandson.”
“No, I mean… I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy ever since you skipped town. You haven’t smiled like this for years.”
The temperature drops a handful of degrees. I sit up.
“You’ve barely seen me since then. Recent times aside, obviously.”
Her eyes search mine, hunting for whatever she thinks she’ll find.
Of course, she knows it’s there, locked inside my head like a demon in the attic.
I wish she knew how important it is to keep it chained up.
There’s no way around her knowingsomethingmust have happened to drive me away.
Why else would I have gone so quickly and never returned to Portland again until the eleventh hour of Gramps’ life?
But that’s just it—nobody knows the truth.
No one can find out.
It’s a pitch-black nightmare I’m not ready to speak back into existence, let alone relive.
Especially not with this green-eyed soft woman with the smiles.
If she knew what I did, would she give me those glittery green eyes at all?
Would she ever look at me again like I’m lovable?
Or would she just flee, breaking the contract and cursing my name?
It hasn’t been that long. She’s only started looking at me like I’m not the scum of the earth.
I don’t want to lose that now.
I don’t want her to know the childish antics I’ve outgrown didn’t end with punking her and Margot.
What I left years ago, what I caused—fuck, there’s no outgrowing that.
No outrunning it either, apparently.
But God knows I’m going to try when it’s all I can do.
Maybe that makes me a coward.
