Oh, I miss that.
And I’ve missed my softer, loving, non-judgy Mom.
“I know,” she whispers again, one hand stroking my hair. “Let it all out, it’s okay.”
“…does everyone know?” I mumble against her shoulder.
“Don’t worry about that now,” she says softly.
That’s ayes.
Instead of crying my eyes out, I pull back before the tears hit full force.
As much as I missed being comforted like a little girl again, so much has happened between us.
This can’t be as comforting as she might want it to be. But she touches my face with the tips of her manicured fingers.
“You’ve lost weight,” she whispers.
“Thrilling. Maybe I should get my heart beaten to a pulp more often,” I throw back.
“Oh no, honey. It’s not a compliment.” Her brows knit together and the corners of her meticulously outlined lips turn down. “Look, Hattie, I know I’ve been worried about your weight before, but starving yourself because you’re unhappy is never a good thing.”
My jaw drops like I’m ready to swallow a hummingbird.
“You need some cheering up,” she whispers, opening the blueberry pie box and finding a knife in the drawer to carve two big slices. “If anyone’s earned this, it’s you.”
I slump down in my seat.
I’m still slack-jawed.
All the ugly tears I’ve been pushing back return with a vengeance.
God, if she’d just come at me with one of her smarmy comments, I would’ve been prepared.
I would’ve been protected.
But my heart has no shield just now.
We’ve bickered for so many years over appearances and health, it almost feels second nature.
Now with one kind gesture, she’s turned me into a heap of hurting gravel. I don’t know how to deal with it.
My face crumples.
“It was never real,” I moan as she hugs me again. This time, it feels more like embracing an old friend I’ve missed forever. “What I had with Ethan, it—it was fake, Mom.”
She shakes her head, staring at me.
“I don’t follow, honey. This is as real as anything I’ve seen. None of your boyfriends ever upset you like this.”
Way to rub it in.
But she’s also right.
I don’t know how to explain why it shouldn’t be worse than a tiny needle prick.
Sure, he sped up the breakup timeline, but this was always the plan.
