His presence, his essence, hisscent.
God, I’ll never get used to it.
“Hattie, if you want a vacation home, we can still keep the place in Portland. We have enough money to buy twenty of these without breaking a sweat.”
“Yeah, well… just being practical.”
“Why would we give up our large and comfortable home for a place that doesn’t even have a working toilet?”
“Oh, God. It doesn’t?” I bolt upright.
He chuckles, shaking his head.
“The fact that you believed me says everything about your tolerance for living in the sticks. We’ll keep the place in Portland for now. Never mind the quick hop to New York.”
Shuffling to the end of the bed, I reach up and wrap my arms around his waist.
“You’re a dick,” I say affectionately. “And fine, so maybe we shouldn’t move here. But I like the vacation home idea.It’s lovely having somewhere you can reset and step back from everything.”
He smooths his hands through my hair, tugging out the knots with such gentle affection, it makes my toes curl.
“I know. I need that too.”
“Does it ever feel like you’re going to wake up sometimes?” I whisper, tightening my hold on him so he can’t pull back and see my face. Always his first response when I get all emotional.
“What do you mean, Pages?”
“I mean, I know it’s real now. But we’ve been playing a game for so long and it feels like everything is too good, you know? Like the universe will notice and decide we shouldn’t get to haveso much.”
It’s not a fear I get often.
And I know it’s ridiculous.
But right now, kicking off my honeymoon in a tiny cabin with my husband, I can’t help wondering if I’m going to snap awake, back in the world where he left me and we never found a way to be happy together.
“Hattie,” Ethan growls possessively, still stroking my hair.
“I know you love me,” I say quickly. “And I know this is as real as it gets. A broken toilet won’t ruin anything.”
“The toilet isn’t broken.”
“Yeah, but sometimes I feel like this kind of happiness can’t last, you know?”
He tilts my head up, one hand still in my hair as the other finds my chin.
“You worry too much, Pages,” he says slowly. “It won’t always be our honeymoon and the high will fade. I’ll be damned if our love ever sputters, though.”
Well played.
I smile.
“It’s been a long, hard road here,” I whisper.
“That doesn’t mean we have to pay for it every time something goes right. You’re allowed to be happy. You deserve good things. I used to think the same way—until you, woman. Just make that voice in the back of your mind shut it. I’ll do my best to keep you smiling.”
I press my face into his chest.
“I can’t argue with that,” I say. “You made me believe Stephen King was on the next boat over and I nearly died.”
