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Julien was openly sobbing now, his shoulders heaving. It didn’t matter that this was about a woman he was probably still in love with, or that he was drunk as a skunk… I considered Julien a friend, and I hated seeing him in such pain.
Without thinking twice, I leaned over and put my hand on his shoulder. I told myself that it was just because I wanted to comfort him – a little lie to keep myself in check. He seemed to relax under my touch, but he wasn’t ready to stop just yet.
“I didn’t want to tell you about her. I didn’t want you to know why I pulled strings and had you brought here… I don’t want you to feel sorry for me,” Julien said, his head hanging low.
I wanted to push the hair away from his face and to tell him I’m here for him, but instead, I just sat there with my hand on his shoulder. I couldn’t bring myself to pull it away.
He lifted his head up and I swear I could actually feel his eyes lock on mine. The pain in them was too real.
“You can talk to me about her. I’m here to listen,” I said, my mouth trying to ease its way around the words. I didn’t know why it was hard for me to say that—I should be supportive of him.
He sniffed, nodding his head. “I want to, but I can’t. It’s too hard. Elle est la poussière. Elle est palready. Je ne peux pas.”
His French was even harder to understand through the slurring, but I understood the last sentence. Je ne peux pas…I cannot. Something else popped into my head, and I thought about Julien choosing the candidates to stay here during their transitions with the witness protection program.
“Julien? You said that she was…that it was someone from the mafia… Was it one of the Five Families? Did you pick me because of that?”
He cocked his head to the side, reminding me of a puppy. “I didn’t want to see another person hurt by those bastards.”
I guess I should be thankful for that, instead of jealous in some weird way. My thoughts were all over the place enough as it was.
The tears kept coming, but Julien quieted down, his eyes sliding away from mine and finally closing after a few minutes. It was only then that I felt comfortable enough to push back that stubborn lock of hair from his face, swallowing around the lump in my throat when his eyes fluttered underneath his lids. Touching him like this was like walking up to a sort of boundary between us, and smudging it with my hand.
I stayed there just like that… It was comforting. I couldn’t help but smile when Julien started to lightly snore.
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Chapter 13
When I woke up the next morning, it took me half a second before I realized that Julien was no longer lying next to me on top of the covers. I shivered as I sat up, trying to warm up my arms by rubbing them quickly.
As I stretched my arms out and tried to scoot out of bed I saw a piece of paper float down to the floor. I hopped down to pick it up, intrigued.
Amira-
I’m sorry about last night. I don’t remember too much, but I know I wasn’t acting properly towards you. Please let me make it up to you. Everyone needs a day off every now and then. Even you.
-Julien
I couldn’t even hold back the grin that pulled at the corners of my mouth. I knew I shouldn’t be so gung-ho, but it didn’t matter. As Julien fell asleep next to me last night I made a decision: I was going to trust him. I felt like I could finally open up and be real with him, and believe me, even before the shooting that was no easy feat.
I wasted no time getting ready. I didn’t know what Julien had in store for me today, but for the first time in what felt like forever, I found myself excited about the prospects of the day.
-
When I pulled up the heavy wooden front doors, I was pleased to see Julien waiting for me. I took in his appearance, my eyes sliding down as I saw that perhaps I was underdressed after all. Well maybe not. I was wearing a sundress after all.
He was wearing a simple pair of black slacks and a dressier button-down shirt with the cuffs rolled up, giving him a more casual look. The sun glinted off of the lighter highlights in his brown hair, giving off a halo effect. I had to admit, it totally worked for him.
Of course the best part about what he was wearing was that sexy crooked grin of his, which he only seemed to show when it was just the two of us. He tilted his head to the side, getting a good look at me now.
I tried not to be too fancy, especially since I didn’t know where we were going after all. It was pretty warm out thankfully, so the yellow sundress and white cardigan I had picked turned out to be perfect. I swept up my hair off of my neck, figuring you might be outside for a while today. And okay… maybe I threw on some makeup just because. I had the right to try and look pretty every now and again, didn’t I?
When I got up to the car I realize that it wasn’t just any car. It was a flashy new BMW, the kind that my old boss would’ve driven around the city, as if it proved something to someone. But with Julien leaning up against it, it wasn’t pretentious at all. It actually fit him quite nicely.
He had the sort of look on his face that made me blush. He wasn’t saying anything, just taking me and with his eyes. I didn’t know what to think of that, so I cleared my throat and began talking up a storm, just like I always did when I was completely nervous.
“So a BMW, huh? I should’ve known. I like the blue color though. It’s an icy blue, but my favorite shade has to be royal blue. Do you have a favorite color? If I had to guess it
