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“It’s okay if you don’t get married, dear. I’m perfectly fine with you living in sin as long as you’re making him happy.”
Nadia’s mouth gaped open, but then she heard Kiersten giggle and realized Caitlin was teasing her. She laughed herself, even as her guilt grew. “I certainly don’t want to disappoint you, Caitlin, but I wouldn’t expect a wedding ceremony.” Abruptly, she realized she might be killing the pretense of the relationship, so she quickly interjected, “Sawyer and I haven’t even talked about the future really. We’re nowhere near that point yet.”
The woman who wanted to be her mother-in-law sighed softly. “Oh I suppose you have all the time in the world, with you both being so young, but I’m anxious to see him settled and happy. He’s such a wanderer, and I fear he’ll never find exactly what he’s looking for.”
Nadia sighed too. “That could be correct, but I can’t say.” She bit her tongue, realizing she’d almost blown the façade again. “As I said, we aren’t that serious yet.”
Kiersten snorted. “You might think that, but it’s clear to me that when you two are together, there’s something special there. You can barely keep your hands off each other, and your eyes say it all. It might not be wedding bells, but you two will definitely be getting serious in the near future. Mom will be happy, and Grandfather can stop grousing about Sawyer traipsing the globe in his little boat and shirking his responsibilities.”
Her mouth was abruptly dry, and she wanted to believe it was the detoxing effect of the mud bath, and not Kiersten’s words. Surely, his sister was seeing what she wanted to see? Sure, there was a slight spark between them, an attraction, but it was nothing more than that. They barely knew each other, so how could it be? She didn’t know how to refute Kiersten’s statement without revealing too much about the true nature of their relationship, so she remained quiet. When a spa attendant offered her a glass of champagne a few minutes later, she gulped it down to clear her dry mouth, even though she risked clouding her thoughts.
“What would you like for Sawyer?” she asked Caitlin and his sister as she returned the glass.
“I’d just like him to be happy,” said Caitlin. She sighed softly. “He certainly deserves that after everything...”
“Yes, he does. I wish Grandfather would cut him a little more slack,” said Kiersten.
Nadia remained quiet. They seemed to think she knew what they were talking about, that she had a greater depth of intimacy with Sawyer than she did, and if she probed too deeply or protested too much, she risked running the charade.
The guilt leaned heavily on her to do just that—to confess and beg forgiveness. It hadn’t been that bad before she’d met them, but now she hated what she was helping him do to his family. It was awful to give them hope that there was a relationship between her and Sawyer, when there was nothing but dollars and zeros instead. Suddenly, she knew she couldn’t maintain this pretense for an entire week. As soon as they returned to the Sinclair residence, she was going to track down Sawyer and tell him she couldn’t go through with this.
Her heart seized at the thought, and a pang of panic shot through her chest as she imagined returning the deposit he had given her. It would mean starting over, and likely she’d have to find a new position as well, but it just wasn’t right to deceive these people. They weren’t the cold and overtly hostile group she had expected. She didn’t want to hurt Kiersten or Caitlin, and she was angry that Sawyer had come up with this pretense while knowing what it would mean to his family.
That anger, coupled with a strong dose directed inward at her own role in events, propelled her through the rest of the spa visit and kept her resolved to do the correct thing as they returned to the house. She was tempted to blurt out the whole story, but held back. Let Sawyer sort it out however he wished. Let him tell them the truth.
Regardless of how he wanted to handle it, she had to end this pretense tonight. She would disappear, and he could fill in the blanks. She just hoped no one had gotten hurt in the process, and that Kiersten and Caitlin wouldn’t hate her.
She would probably never see them again, but it gave her a heavy heart to leave sour feelings behind her. No doubt, Sawyer would present her as a heartbreaker, and it was her burden to bear since she was the one ending their deal early, but it didn’t make her feel any better about hurting the people who had been so welcoming.
Sawyer was difficult to track down, and she spent forty-five minutes looking for him after they had returned to the house. All the relaxation and mellowness she had acquired from the spa treatments had fled in the face of her determination to do the right thing. She was still certain this was the correct course as she finally tracked him down in the gardens.
Even in her resolve, she couldn’t help appreciating the beauty around her. Full summer blooms everywhere made a colorful backdrop against Sawyer, who was spread lazily on the ground on a blanket, hands behind his head and staring up at the sky. He looked so relaxed and at peace, and for a moment she had doubts. Was she doing the right thing by calling this off? After all, she had made an agreement and had entered into a deal with him. Her father had always been a man who honored his word, so would he be ashamed of her for breaking their deal?
No, he would be more ashamed that she had agreed to it to start with. He wouldn’t approve of her lying to Sawyer’s family, but he would approve of telling the truth and ending this farce now. Determination renewed, she crossed the grass and stood over him, staring down. “We need to talk.”
He groaned. “The four most hated words of any man in the world.”
When he made no effort to stand up, she sank to her knees with a sigh, perching on the edge of the blanket in an attempt to prevent grass stains on the vanilla-colored capris she wore. “I can’t do this, Sawyer.”
He turned over onto his side, using his palm to prop up his head as he stared at her. “Do what?”
“I can’t keep lying to
your family.” She twisted her hands, visually betraying her inner turmoil. “Caitlin and Kiersten are so sweet and nice, and they just want what’s best for you. They think that’s me, and I don’t want to break their heart. I can’t keep lying to them about being in a relationship when we’re not.”
“Oh.” He seemed calm, calmer than she had expected.
She tilted her head sideways to better meet his eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying? We have to tell your family the truth, or I have to just leave or something, because I can’t keep lying to them.”
“It’s simple really.”
“What is?” asked Nadia, confused by his casual acceptance of her wishes. She had expected him to protest heartily or try to bribe her into continuing the pretense.
“We’ll just stop pretending.”
She blinked. “Just like that? What was the point of all this to start with if you’re just going to stop?” Ugh, why was she arguing when that was what she wanted. Right?
He lifted a hand to take hers, dragging her down onto the blanket beside him despite her resistance. It was only after she was tucked up against him in a parody of a cuddling couple that he spoke again. “I think you misunderstand, Nadia. I’m not suggesting we tell my family we aren’t in a relationship. I’m simply suggesting we enter into a relationship so you don’t have to lie.”
