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Considering how absorbed she was in her work, it was a prediction that, until last year, seemed all but guaranteed. Since Hampton’s birth, she discovered that while motherhood was a careful balancing act, there was nothing that couldn’t be accomplished with a little patience and persistence.
The realization that a baby wasn’t any detriment to her professional life only made her feel worse when she thought about the prospect of letting him go with Quint. Not only that, but the idea of Raneesha finding out about the arrangement was unnerving.
It was far better that Raneesha think her daughter was in the same situation she’d been in, and still was in. Single motherhood.
Raneesha’s father fought and died in the Korean war when she was too young to remember, so Raneesha knew intimately not only the struggle of raising a child on her own from her memories of her own mother, but of keeping a steady job that gave her enough time with her own new baby girl.
Amara’s father was out of the picture not long before she was born. The relationship wasn’t workable for one reason or another, and Raneesha avoided the subject when it was brought up. The far-away look in her eyes when Amara asked about it, no matter how much she thought she was ready to hear the truth, told all there was to tell. It was something Raneesha obviously intended to keep to herself forever, and eventually Amara decided that she must have her reasons and left it alone.
While Amara never knew her father’s name, she never felt his absence. Raneesha didn’t date much, so there was no introduction of instability. Amara was well taken care of, and to hear her mother tell it, she couldn’t have been a sweeter baby.
She felt lucky that Hampton seemed to share that, and it became more and more obvious with every day that passed — Quint chose her because they had those traits in common.
They were both cool, level-headed people. They were intelligent, driven, and curious. Hampton had the best possible start. Already he seemed to be showing interest in the world around him, and he’d reached important milestones far sooner than he should have.
Amara might have been a tad biased in her opinion of her son, but she could be forgiven her doting mother’s prerogative.
Chapter Fourteen
RANEESHA DESCENDED FROM UPSTAIRS, unaccompanied by the tell-tale cry that meant Hampton was awake. Instead of making her way directly back to the living room, she headed into the kitchen to get water for them both. When she strolled back into the living room, aglow with the joy of seeing her grandchild, her expression changed into a slight twist of confusion and amusement.
“Amara, baby, what are you doing still standing around like that? Sit down. You have somewhere to be so soon that you can’t visit with your momma for a little while?”
Amara turned to her. “No, no. It’s nothing like that. I just have a lot on my mind. It’s been a little rough lately.” She walked back to the couch then, and eased her
self in as Raneesha slid into her favorite plush chair.
“So what’s on your mind, sweetheart? Is Hampton giving you trouble? Babies can get willful when they figure out they can get what they want by crying.” She smiled broadly, knowingly, her brow jumping up a bit in insinuation.
“Hey, don’t look at me. I was a perfectly well-behaved girl, from what I remember, anyway. Which isn’t much. I’m surprised he stayed asleep the whole way up the stairs and into the crib, though. He’s usually as easy to wake up as he is to put to sleep. You do have a way with him.”
Raneesha smiled broadly. “I’ve had practice, and not only with you, either. Trisha’s boy, Janine’s twins … you remember playing with them, don’t you? You were a good bit older than them, but you babysat so well, even as a young one yourself. I knew right then you were gonna be wonderful with children. That’s why I was so confused when you said you were going to give this baby up for adoption. I couldn’t understand how you wouldn’t feel the joy of a son of your own, not after the way you interacted with those boys back then.”
Amara shifted, uncomfortable with the direction of the discussion.
Raneesha went on. “Now that you’ve had him so long, I’m sure you’re settled in now. You know, gotten into a schedule. You could probably use a little break here and there too, huh?”
Amara shook her head. “I’ve still got a month left on my maternity leave, and I have you and Kari helping me out. Jaslene helps when she’s in town, too. I don’t need any break, Momma.”
Raneesha sighed, placing her water aside and then folding her hands in her lap. “I know. It’s just, a boy needs a father, and I keep thinking about Frederik. You two seemed so perfect for each other when you first brought him over to meet me. Tall, handsome, smart, from a good family. I thought it was going to last, and I’m still not sure why you let such a good man go because he got a little lazy with the work you two were doing.”
“It was more than that. He was treating the Nigeria trip like a vacation. He never cared about those people. When I confronted him about it, he got defensive, and crazily possessive. Yet he was content to run off and leave me to do the work by myself. He couldn’t stick around to help, and then he wanted to chastise me like a little girl because I wasn’t hooked to his side 24 hours a day? I’m a professional woman. I’m not an accessory, and I’m not a trophy.”
Raneesha nodded firmly. “That’s right, Amara. You’re not.”
“And he tried to ruin my work with his lies. I could never forgive him for that.”
“Yes, I suppose that’s right. I like to think he didn’t mean it, or realize how badly it would affect you.”
“Oh, he realized, Momma. He’s not a good man.”
“You didn’t talk about it so much when it happened, but it was pretty obvious there were some things that you couldn’t work through. I never asked about Hampton’s father, but are you sure he’s out of the picture entirely?”
Amara’s blood pressure kicked up a notch. “Momma, I don’t think there’s a future for me with him, either.”
“I don’t see why not. Maybe if you confided in me … is he not a good man, either?”
Amara wanted to tell her mother everything, but the truth wouldn’t come out. “He’s fine, Momma. He’s a good person, I think. I just … I don’t want to talk about it.”
