And me? I have to go home.
What am I even doing here? Pining after a man whose guilt overshadows everything else and has taken over his life.
I doubt he can feel anything else apart from the pain in his heart.
Why does the fact make him all the more appealing? I just want to help, but I can’t. I shouldn’t.
If his family couldn’t get through to him, who am I?
I turn over and look out the window. The sky is bright tonight, covered with twinkling stars. There’s never a night this clear in the city. Always all fogged up with fumes.
A tear chokes in my throat. I’m going back.
In three days, the three-week arrangement with Chance will be over. For the past week, I’ve tried to block it out and ignore the inevitable. But that’s not happening now.
Todd’s presence served to make matters worse. Or more real, depending on the angle you look at it from.
I sigh and kick off the sheets, suddenly feeling warm. Even though it’s tempting, I don’t open the window to let in the breeze dancing through the trees.
That night plays over in my head. Someone was trying to get in and I’m not going to make it easy for them. I turn up the AC instead.
Then it’s too cold and I tuck myself back underneath the sheets.
I shut my eyes and it’s… Chance.
“Fuck.” I flop onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.
I can’t be this hung up on him, can I? But I am.
I list all the reasons I shouldn’t be, ticking off my fingers.
He’s not ready to be in a relationship.
He hasn’t even asked me out.
I’m leaving.
I can’t forget all of these. If I do, then I may contemplate something stupid. Build castles in my head that’d come crashing down when faced with the harsh reality.
I need to survive Chance.
Tomorrow is the last day I’ll be working with him. I’ll put my head down and earn the final cents he’d pay me. That’s why I stayed, isn’t it?
I roll over to the cooler side of the bed and force my eyes shut. I push away thoughts of Chance, and then a particular nagging thought flits into my brain. I sit up and drop my curtain. Can’t be too careful.
For the past week since the incident at the door, I haven’t had to look over my shoulder. Chance promised to keep me safe, and I am.
He has cared for me, made sure I’m provided for, gone above and beyond…
Since I’m his employee, I remind myself, then force myself into a dreamless sleep.
“Hey, Maddie!” Julia waves me over.
I just arrived at work and I’m heading to the conference room. Today, I’ve decided to limit my meetings with Chance as much as I can. To make the break on Monday much easier.
I head her way. “Make it quick.” My eyes stray to Chance’s door, then the elevator. I don’t want a surprise.
“Okay, ma’am.” Julia gives me a look. “So, guess what?”
