My heart crumbles. Whatever this is, it eats deep into Chance, and apparently, Baxter too. If I let him go, I’ll never know and never understand Chance more.
You’re leaving, Maddie. What does it matter?
It matters. So fucking much. It hurts to see Chance pained and broken, and that’s how he looked when we spoke of his mom. I need to get to the bottom of this.
I go around Baxter and block the exit to prevent him from leaving. “Baxter, please. I need to know.”
“Then maybe ask him?”
“He won’t tell me.”
Baxter’s gaze drops because he knows I’m right. Hell, I can almost imagine Chance shutting down if I broach the subject.
“Please,” I press. “I care about him and I want him to be alright. If there’s anything I can do, then I’d like to know.”
Baxter meets my eyes and I know he has caved. He reaches behind me and turns the lock on the door, then leads the way deeper into the storage room. He sits on the desk and points to the free chair.
I take it dutifully and keep my eyes on him. He looks at me for a long minute before sighing.
“I know this will come back to bite me in the butt, but here it is.” His eyes carry a faraway look and I hold my breath so I don’t interrupt. “My mom, our mom, was diabetic. There were times she was alright, and at other times it hit her hard. During the last episode that claimed her life, Dad, Landon and I weren’t on the Island. But Chance was. Dad kinda told him to take care of Mom. It was just a statement.” He shakes his head. “Chance was a twenty-one-year-old back for the holidays and having fun with his girlfriend. He didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
Baxter shakes his head as if willing the thoughts away. But his eyes dim with the memory. “According to him, he was out having a good time with his girlfriend. Just being silly young people. When they returned to his car, there were numerous calls from Mom’s number. He rushed to the house to check on her, but the paramedics were already there. She was already gone.”
“Oh, no.” I press my hands to my lips, my heart breaking.
“He always blamed himself. If only he wasn’t out having fun, he could have been there for Mom. If only he was more responsible. A host of if-onlys. For months, he wallowed, blamed himself, and hated himself. When he came out of it, he was different.”
“Different how?”
“He was far more focused than any young person his age had a right to be. Since then, he has worked himself to the bone, as if trying to pay for what he says is his fault. He denies himself everything remotely pleasurable.” His gaze fixes on me. “Even a woman to love.”
I push aside the feeling that crops up in my chest at those words, certain he doesn’t mean me. Just some woman, any woman.
That’s why Chance always seems out of reach.
“Till today, he still punishes himself. That’s it, Maddie. That’s my brother’s story.”
The lock jiggles and someone knocks.
“That’s our cue.” Baxter heads out and opens the door.
I follow behind him in a daze, unable to shake off the words he said.
We walk past a woman who gives us a curious look, but I couldn’t care less. The only person I care about has been in torment for all these years. And now my heart hurts too.
Chapter Twenty-One
Chance
Maddie has been missing all morning. Unusual. But I don’t have time to look for her.
I have an impromptu meeting with the CFO and Ramsey, going over the campaign budget. We’ve managed to cut it down but the CFO still raises eyebrows at the numbers Ramsey quoted. He’s adamant we can’t spare that much.
Now, Ramsey is forced to go back to the drawing board. And he’s not very happy about that.
I tap his shoulder on the way out of the CFO’s office. It’s nothing personal, just business. He dips his head in a nod, his shoulders down. I’m watching him walk away when my eyes lift.
