He sounds sad when he says, “Yeah, I wish we had more time together.”
“I know, but Will’s leaving for college in a matter of days, so there’s a lot to do before that. I also need to be there when he does. We texted a bit earlier today, and I can sense his excitement and nervousness. It’s my role to be there for him, so I don’t have a choice.”
“I get that—you don’t have to explain yourself. I still wish you could join me for the rest of my trip.”
I let out a defeated sigh. “Me too. But it’s time to return to reality, even if I don’t want to.”
“This doesn’t need to be a dream or something temporary. We can make all this our reality one day, you and me, enjoying our lives together somewhere where we both feel relaxed.”
“I know. And we will. But I need to take care of things back home before that can happen.”
Spade takes hold of my face, holding it between his large palms. “Promise me that we’ll stay in touch and try to find a way to stay together.”
“I promise.”
Seeing my promises reflected in my eyes, he kisses me gently. His first kiss tells me not to forget him. The second reminds me to think about him daily. The third and fourth wrap his love around my heart. And after the fifth kiss, I get lost in all that is him.
Our bodies coming together is unhurried this time around. There is something in the air that I can’t deny; we are making love. It isn’t just sex, fucking, or whatever you want to call the act. We’re making sweet, sweet love, sayingI love youwith every touch without actually voicing it aloud.
The following day, I wake up when the first rays of sunlight hit the room. Moving stealthily, not to wake up Spade, I close the curtains so he’ll get more sleep before the drive today.
Grabbing a bathrobe I found in one of the bathrooms, I tiptoe to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee like the last three mornings.
Putting on my sandals, I take my drink with me and open the door that leads to the back deck with a stunning view. One by one, I walk down the steps to the wooden path that will take me to the beach.
Once it’s only sand, I dig my toes in and relish the moment. The sunrise paints everything in its warm glow, and I admire how the colors are reflected on the vast body of water in front of me. I take a deep breath and smell the coffee combined with the ocean air.
When I described this moment to Spade, I didn't realize just how incredible it would feel experiencing it for real. And I don’t want to say goodbye to this feeling and the man sleeping peacefully a hundred feet away, but I know I have to go. One day, hopefully sooner than later, I’ll return to the oceanside and breathe in the now-familiar saltiness of the air.
Just like Spade promised me, he has shown me the ocean. And it’ll forever be my safe place.
* * *
The truck is silent as the GPS tells us that the airport in Norfolk, Virginia is only ten minutes away. All the previous banter has stopped, and even Spade’s country playlist isn’t bringing a smile to my face like it did before.
“Hard To Leave” by Riley Green starts playing, and I close my eyes, telling myself that I’ve cried enough during the past week.How are there even any tears left?
The song stops abruptly, and I open my eyes, noticing Spade’s finger on the touchscreen.
“I couldn’t listen to that song, seeing how it’s making you feel,” he admits in a quiet, whisper-like voice.
“That song just hits differently today.”
“Damn, sunflower, it really does.”
We don’t talk after that until he parks the truck in the short-term parking. Taking a deep breath before Spade opens my door, I get ready to say my goodbyes. But he has other ideas as he opens the trunk and lowers my trolley bag to the ground with one swift movement.
“What are you waiting for?” he asks as I sit halfway out of the door.
“I thought I was going to walk to the terminal alone.”
“No way, I’ll come with you until they tell me I can’t get any further.”
His words make me beam and there’s lightness in my step that wasn’t there a moment ago. Hand in hand, we walk to the airline counter to complete my check-in. I internally wince at the cheery tone of the ticket agent and wish she could stop trying to make small talk.
Flashing her fake smile as she hands me my printed ticket, I want to ask how she can be happy right now. It seems like everyone else but us is smiling and enjoying their day as usual.
The closer we get to the airport security checkpoint, the slower my stroll is. Spade notices me slowing down and looks at me. “I wish I could be there when you board your first-ever flight. But we both know it’s easier to say goodbye now than later.”
