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"Blood isn't easy to get out of clothes."
"I don't want it to wash out." She wanted there always to be evidence of this one experience he'd given her. If there wasn't another, maybe having at least one like this would last her the next seven years.
She unbuckled his belt, slid the button of the jeans free to push her hand in beneath the zipper. She guided it down from inside and out to ensure it didn't catch any tender, turgid flesh. There was a difference between intentional pain, like what she'd done with the rose, and pain caused by carelessness.
Perhaps that was why the memory of Lady Carmela had remained so painful, festering. Because he'd done it intentionally. It tempted her to lock down her emotions, simply enjoy the physical the way he'd been doing throughout their relationship, and not risk her emotions. He was right. It was safer that way.
"Debra."
She shook her head, peeled back the jeans. Removing the rose, she dropped it to the blanket and put her mouth over one of the marks, relishing the taste of his blood. Even a few drops could be rejuvenating to a servant, and it fizzed through her, making her leave off the delicate licks and suck on his skin instead, swirling over it with the tip of her tongue. Her hand slid down to cover his erection, stretching up thick and tempting out of the open jeans. He pushed up into her hand, his breath drawing in, part growl, part sound of pleasure. She didn't have to imagine the restraint he was exercising, letting her do this. She could feel it, like a chain stretched to breaking.
Often after a vampire social event, once the vampires turned in for the dawn, the servants would have impromptu gatherings of their own, if they were friendly enough with one another. She remembered one where Dev, the Australian bushman who was Lady Daniela's servant, had made them all breakfast as they lounged about the kitchen. During the gossip and information trade that was part of such an informal social meet, one servant had speculated whether or not there were any submissive vampires. It was intended as a joke, and had gotten the expected eye rolls and chuckles.
There were always exceptions in Nature. It was one of the ways life evolved and adapted, but for Brian it wasn't a remote possibility. Other vampires might think him mild-mannered because he didn't care about pissing contests at fancy vampire dinners, or political wranglings at the Council table. But he was passionate and determined about his work, single-minded in a way no different from Daegan Rei studying a target, or Lady Lyssa facing down the entire Council.
Lord Uthe once said I wouldn't be the one at the head of the army, storming the castle. I'd be the engineer, tunneling beneath to bring the whole thing crashing down.
She smiled at the thought. I believe that was Lord Uthe's version of a compliment.
But she agreed with Uthe's point. When Brian had his mind made up about something, he wouldn't let any obstacle stand in his way. Just like now.
His hand slid to her hair, tangled there. Making clear he'd given her as much license as he would tolerate, he grasped his cock with his other hand, using his hold on her hair to direct her mouth elsewhere. She didn't resist, eager to take him into the back of her throat as she'd learned to do, wanting to give him pleasure. Her body vibrated with that need.
Reveling in the strength and demand communicated by his grip, she was surprised when he lifted her off him after mere moments and had her straddle him, shoving his jeans down. He didn't thrust inside her, though. He sat her on his engorged cock, its length splitting the folds of her sex as he cupped her breasts, thumbs sliding in the cleavage while he molded and kneaded. Releasing the front clasp of the bra, he pulled the garment off her shoulders, but only to tangle it around her wrists, tighten it behind her back before he reared up and clasped both her breasts again, bending his head to tease, lick and suckle her. When she arched backward, moaning, he dropped a hand to support her back, let her lean against his strength, fingertips playing in her hair, which fell past her shoulder blades and into his grasp with her head tipped back. He scored her nipple with a fang, earning a gasp and a more severe arch. His pleased, throaty chuckle told her he liked her response.
He slid his touch between her bound wrists and her body to play in the cleft beneath the panties. When he tore the garment, yanking it out of the way, the impulsive gesture startled and aroused her further. He gripped her buttock, showing her he wanted her to move against his cock, rub her soaked crotch against his length. She complied, her mind now following his will, needing, wanting nothing else than to be his to command.
Sweet servant. Beautiful Debra. Dance for me.
As she rotated her hips on him, her body undulating, he was using his mouth on her again, making his way up her sternum. She had her head tilted fully back when he bit, taking a draught of the blood she alone would give him. She knew he never drank from any other.
Of course. You're my servant. Your blood is mine alone. All of you is mine.
The surge of emotional pain was far more agonizing than any physical pain he could give her, but as she stiffened, he caught her head in both hands, cradled her face, made her look at him.
"We're going to figure this out, Debra," he said fiercely. "I know it won't happen immediately, but you will give me all of it. Your pain, your sadness, your tears. I've been ignoring the best part of our bond. Your heart and soul are mine to explore as well."
As he held her gaze, she felt it, that link they shared, three marks to bind a human soul to a vampire forever. But rather than staying at the level he always did, he started to descend further inside her.
The mind was the repository for any emotions ascribed to the heart and soul. So science said. Yet she thought she was going to have to revise that assertion as she felt her heart start thudding, feeling...something closing around it. Beyond that, her awareness of herself, of everything she was, her entire existence, now shared space with him, a rushing, swirling feeling that filled her core, from her head to the soles of her feet and everything in between, including heart and soul.
It frightened her, and fear turned the feeling into an invasion. He stroked her upper arms, his voice a soothing murmur as he brushed his lips over hers.
"Easy. You've nothing to fear."
She had everything to fear. He'd always left her heart and soul to herself, let her nurse the pains and disappointments there unmolested. Yet as his consciousness wound its way through those dark shadows and locked boxes, it entered them easily. He could see every emotion and need, every craving she couldn't hide from him. How much she needed him, wanted him. How she couldn't breathe without him.
She really couldn't exist without him, even if he broke her heart a million times over. She did hate him sometimes, for what he'd done to her. But her hate wasn't a drop in the bucket next to how much she loved and needed him.
Brian lifted his head, his countenance vibrant with emotions of his own. Shock... speculation. She couldn't invade his mind, couldn't know what he was thinking. Whereas she was stripped raw. Nowhere to hide.
Panicked, she struggled against the restraint on her wrists. He reversed their positions, putting her under him, freeing her hands with a swift movement so they weren't uncomfortably beneath her. Since he still had her pinned with his body, she struck at him, the reaction of a cornered animal, not a rational woman, but he didn't block her. He slid inside of her, invading her in a different, no less devastating way.
He was always a good fit, filling her deep and stretching her, but tasting his blood and touching him as she wished had obviously had an effect, making him even larger than usual. Her cunt clamped down on him in needy response, even as she kept shoving at him, afraid of her feelings.
"Debra, stop." The quiet words were an unmistakable command, but she couldn't. As quickly as she'd had that reaction, it reversed so she had her arms wrapped around him as tightly as she could, pulling him against her so her face was pressed into his neck, legs wrapped over his bare hips. Maybe if she held him so close, as if they were one person, she wouldn't be so afraid.
"Ssshhh." He stroked her hair, m
ixing it up with little tugs that sent searing jolts through her agitated body. At the same time he settled into an easy, rocking boat rhythm, hips lifting and lowering in smooth thrusts. "I'm here. Trust me. Just trust me for tonight. One step at a time."
He was still at that subterranean level of her mind, at the same time he was physically deep inside her body, and now it was like he was dancing with her emotions, a smooth waltz, inviting her to twine and tangle with his thoughts.
Vampires weren't inclined to reveal their deepest feelings, even to their servants, but he gave her a glimpse of what he felt for her. A flickering starlit sky where there were so many things to explore, three hundred years wouldn't be enough.
She caught another sob in her throat, held him even tighter.
We will take the journey together, Debra. Just be patient with me. I'm learning, the same as you.
He tilted her head back, studied her with an edged look.
