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She moved down the walkway quietly. He shook his head at the driver, opened the door for her himself, steadying her with a hand on her elbow. As he turned to get in the limo with her, he saw Vivian at the bedroom window. She didn't raise her hand in farewell, and Brian knew she was crying again. The ache inside his own chest was difficult to manage. Like Debra, he didn't really have words for what couldn't be changed, decisions that had been made. How could Debra not have regrets?
"He said she has help?"
"Yes."
He didn't have to give Debra access to his mind for her to understand the question before it was asked. "My aunt lives here, and my mother's emails say she and her family have been helping my grandmother care for him. She's not alone."
As Brian studied her profile, her chin lifted so she inadvertently revealed eyes brimming with tears in the reflection of the dark window, he wondered if his servant felt she could say the same.
He wanted to reach out, close his hand over hers, but she still had that invisible wall around her. He knew it would only take the right combination of words to crack it. So he used them.
"You know," he said, "Just because you made your choice, doesn't mean you don't have every right to grieve for the path not taken."
She turned her head. Tears streamed down her face. He couldn't bear it.
Come here.
He opened his arms and she went into them. He'd never held her when she cried like this. Though she didn't give in to tears often, he was sure she'd done so more than once since she'd made the choice to be his servant and turn away from all this. He knew for certain she'd cried the night he was so cruel to her.
From here forward, whenever you need to cry, I will hold you. For as long as you need it.
Just as she had her grandmother. Strong women didn't need to be held endlessly. Just at the right moment, to give them the strength to keep going.
Her body shuddered, and he held her tighter, afraid she might physically break apart from the storm of emotions he felt rushing through her. But she was still his Debra, his spirited, impossibly strong servant. When that storm ebbed, he heard her response.
Same goes, my lord.
He'd never known a smile could hurt.
Chapter Six
When they landed in Texas on Butch Dorn's private airstrip, there'd been little time for anything but a few pleasantries and being shown to the guest quarters before the vampires had to retire for the dawn. She was glad for that, because the attack of weeping had left her drained. She hadn't cried so hard and so long in...maybe ever. She'd found herself crying for her grandfather, for the life she'd left behind, for the night Brian had sex with the other woman...for everything. True to his word, Brian had held her through all of it, even when she was so overcome by her emotions she could barely breathe. He'd rubbed her back, soothed her, held her. Just held her.
She'd been given a small adjoining room to his, the usual set up for vampire and servant, so Brian could call her to him at his pleasure, but once they reached their guest quarters, Brian caught her hand. "You'll stay with me, at least for a few hours."
She wasn't really sure she could sleep. She had a tension headache from all the crying, and her third mark constitution wasn't making it go away.
"You just need a change of focus." Bringing her over to the bed, he sat down, moved her between his spread knees and began to undress her.
He unbuttoned and pushed her blouse off her shoulders, unhooked her bra, then removed her skirt and underwear while she held his shoulder. She could only study him numbly, bemused as he cosseted her. He'd unbalanced her with his kindness, his attentiveness. But he apparently knew she needed more than his kindness to let go of the pain that was making her temples throb.
He laid her on her back, his eyes sparks in the darkness because he hadn't turned on any lights. She had an impression of heavy, rustic furniture, appropriate and comfortable for a Texas setting. The room smelled faintly of sage and rosemary.
Brian stretched out next to her, stroking the hair at her temple, curling a long strand around his forefinger. He hadn't undressed, but her hand rested on the first closed button of his shirt, her fingertips sliding over the warm, firm flesh revealed in the open collar above it. She stared up at him in the darkness, no words to say, just okay to be this with him, in the semi-darkness. Then his hand closed over her wrist.
"You know the best way to get rid of a headache? Other than to stake the vampire causing it?"
She smiled. "That sounds like something Gideon would say."
"Well, a scientist has to steal humor from others, because it's widely known we have none of our own. Do you know the best way to get rid of a headache, Debra?"
"No my lord. Aspirin doesn't really work for third marks."
"No, it doesn't. But a refresher on basic anatomy should. Trust your doctor."
Her lips retained a faint curve. Though his main focus was research, Brian had done as much study for medical practice as possible. The daylight requirements of internship and residency had denied him the ability to complete the degree. However, he regularly treated injuries to the second marked staff at the Council quarters and his in-depth understanding of anatomy had been invaluable to his research. Vampire anatomy wasn't significantly different from human. It was the constitution itself that set the species apart.
She knew it chafed him that he didn't have the degree, though he already had several in other fields. At some point she was sure he'd figure a way around that daylight requirement. A vampire's longevity allowed for a great deal of education, if he was willing to pursue it. And he was.
"I appreciate my servant's faith in me."
He leaned over her, clasped her hand, kissed her knuckles. Cupping the side of her head, he nuzzled her ear, then behind and below it, placing his lips just...there.
"Oh..." A faint sigh escaped her lips as he caressed the highly erogenous zone. He'd released her hand and it rested on his chest again. She wished his shirt wasn't in the way.
Unbutton it, then.
She did, laying her hand fully on his solid chest. She averted her face, giving him better access. He was just playing in that s
mall area behind her ear, but it was enough to make her body shift restlessly, hips pressing into the bed.
"So what part is this?" he said. "Until you remember, I can't move on to another part."
She managed a half laugh. "Mastoid process. Lowest...point of the temporal lobe."
"Hmm. No." He dropped a hand down between her legs, cupped her, pressed his fingers against her, making her moan. "Try again."
She fought through the haze of lust, realized the simple mistake. "Bone," she managed in a strangled voice. "Lowest point of the temporal bone."
"Correct. And this?" He moved to the side of her throat, his fangs grazing the muscle the turn of her head had made prominent, a long, slender cord.
"SCM."
"Full name." It was a gentle order, but he nipped her. Her headache did seem to be lessening, though she was fairly certain it wasn't the anatomy lesson doing the trick.
"Sternocleidomastoid muscle. Because it attaches sternum... clavicle... and mastoid process." She had to swallow another desperate chuckle as he followed her explanation, laying a moist kiss on her sternum, clavicle and back up beneath her ear again. "Brian..."
He stilled at her whisper, but then resumed, his kisses slower, longer, the pressure holding, such that she could feel the shell over her heart cracking, those openings growing wider, willing her to invite him in, grip that vital organ in his hand and know that it was all his, whatever he wanted to do to it. This was insane.
"No, it's not. What I've been allowing us to be these past few years; that was insane. When we could have...this." He nuzzled her clavicle again. "You're so delicate. So...breakable."
The note in his voice made her look up at him, touch his face. He lifted his head to study her. "If I'd lost you that night, with Gideon...I'm not sure if I could have looked at anything in life the same way, Debra."
