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Since the nightmares had started, he'd waffled between his upbringing, his risk to his career goals and his genuine feelings for his servant, but all he'd needed to do all along was step deeply enough inside her heart to unlock his own and face the stark truth.
He loved her.
He had made a major mistake, and what's worse, had kept making it, over and over again during their time together. He'd had his head buried in the sand ever since the night he'd "proven" to her what their relationship couldn't be. He'd had a few nightmares in his sleep? She'd been fucking forced to endure them in her waking hours.
Throughout his life, he'd experienced frustration over his rank and age. Over the scorn he received when he tried to get higher-ranking vampires to fund his work, validate it. Then there were all the years his father had been disappointed because Brian hadn't wanted to play political games, become a powerful overlord or Region Master. Even now, he was more pleased with Brian's rise in status than the strides toward keeping their species from extinction. No matter that an extinct species had no status to speak of.
All those frustrations dimmed next to this. It was the first time in his life he'd felt that stifled fury, not just for things close to his heart, but for someone inside it. Someone he should have been protecting all along.
He'd been so worried about proving he was a mature male, capable of making his own decisions. It was time to prove he was a man, in the only way that mattered. Following what his heart, mind and soul knew was right, not what others believed was right. No matter the cost, for Debra had already paid far more than he ever could.
Shutting down his computer, he resolved it was time to change for dinner -- in more ways than one.
Chapter Seven
Debra was finishing her preparations when her Master spoke in her mind. Don't leave the room without me. You'll accompany me to the dining room.
It made her feel guilty. Because she'd revealed her worry about Lord Graham, now Brian felt the burden of protecting her. She'd tried to never be an obligation to him --
Are you trying to get me to punish you?
His sharpness brought her up short, left her confused. Was he angry about it, or about her thoughts? He was silent though, waiting for her response.
No, my lord. Unless that's what you desire. I apologize.
Nothing further, leaving her bemused. But when he sent her another thought a few minutes later, letting her know he was ready and she should meet him in the hall, she gave herself one last check and stepped out.
No sweater vest, no trace of the professor tonight. He wore a silver-gray dress shirt open at the throat, charcoal slacks and coat over it, polished Italian loafers. But clothing wasn't the only thing upgraded tonight. She was used to his absent-minded personality, as if his brain never completely left his work. She liked that about him. Yet she found this side of him appealing as well, if a little intimidating.
The sharp and cool hazel eyes that swept her showed a mind fully present in the here and now. His bearing suggesting a vampire who would take a leadership role in whatever situation presented itself to him. Strikingly, it reminded her of his father. And made her knees weaken in a way his father never had.
She was glad she'd taken extra effort tonight, though it had been motivated by an odd sort of defiance. She wasn't going to fear the Lord Grahams of the world. She was going to dress for her Master's pleasure.
You succeeded.
She warmed at his praise, even as the lock of his gaze, potent as a steel cuff, gave her an additional quiver. She'd brought the amber dress because she knew he liked it. Though she didn't wear it often, it made the most of her slim figure, the breast-hugging bra beneath lifting her generous breasts and providing ample cleavage. The short skirt revealed her legs to the thigh. The sprinkle of sparkles made her feel dressed up. She'd worn her hair down, brushing it into waves around her face, even applying extra makeup to enhance the set of her eyes, make her lips glisten.
He studied her from head to toe, his eyes resting briefly on the three-inch black pumps she'd chosen, hoping she wouldn't trip and break a limb. But she wasn't going to be the nervous ingfnue tonight. If she could finally pull off the attitude of an experienced servant, unfazed by anything thrown at her at a vampire dinner, Lord Graham's sadistic urges would be left unsatisfied and he would lose interest in her going forward. Brian's concern had been a wakeup call. She was a capable, strong woman, and she could handle this. She would be a credit to him, not an encumbrance.
His protracted appraisal was helping her confidence considerably. His gaze slid back up her legs, over the curve of hip, then lingered a long time on her breasts. When his attention shifted to her throat, she felt her pulse jump. His look was intense, heated, full of things she couldn't completely comprehend.
When she shifted, he lifted a finger, a nonverbal command to stay still. He circled her, reaching out to mold a hand over her waist, cup her buttock. He was a solid strong male wall at her back as he dropped a kiss on her collar bone. His other hand came up, took a possessive hold of her breast. Touching what belonged to him in a way that provoked a soft moan from her, all her nerves reacting.
She'd worn shimmery stockings attached with garters, tiny bows at the clasps. He traced the strap of one, hooking beneath it and caressing her flesh as well as the bow.
"Beautiful. But not yet perfect."
He lifted his hands from her, and apparently withdrew something from his coat, for a sparkle caught her eye, a necklace he was lowering in front of her face. She didn't wear much jewelry and didn't have pierced ears. To keep them from healing up quickly, a servant had to wear posts all the time, and she was always too busy to remember to do that, plus sleeping in earrings wasn't comfortable. She'd found it was easiest to pierce her ears each time she wanted to wear them, since it happened so rarely. Plus -- the most important reason -- the only sharp thing she liked near her ear lobes were Brian's fangs.
The necklace was braided gold and copper, but it was the pendant that caught her eye, a man's ring. As he settled the necklace on her collar bone, she reached up, closed her fingers over the weight of it. She already knew what it was, since he only wore it during formal occasions. He'd never had her wear it, which explained why her heart was pounding like a drum behind her sternum.
It was his family crest. His father had been knighted in England in the 1700s, such that he was as often called Sir as Lord at vampire gatherings. She particularly liked the design, a green emerald in an antique gold setting that showed a pair of crossed swords and the Latin inscription Knowledge is Power.
"My lord..." she said softly, clasping it hard. "What..."
"It works with the dress." He turned her to face him, tracing the cleavage cradling the ring. "And
it looks far better there than on my finger."
Her thready breath made her breasts rise beneath his touch. He followed the motion with silent appreciation. "Arch your back for me," he murmured. "Lift them higher, but otherwise stay still."
She bit down on her lip as he cupped one curve, stimulating her nipple below the edge of the low cut neckline with his thumb. Back, forth. Back, forth. It beaded under the thin bra, sent spirals of sensation shooting straight down to her pussy.
"I should have chastised Butch," he said. "These are not tits. A cow has tits. These are breasts. Beautiful, perfect breasts."
"Actually," she said unsteadily, "Cows have teats. Udders."
He arched a brow, nodded, but he kept his eyes on her breasts, watching the reaction of her nipples. "It's interesting how both of them shape to tight points when only one is stimulated. Your whole body connects to one touch, like ripples in a pond."
"Master..." Arousal soaked her panties already. If he kept this up, it would be trickling down her leg.
"That's what I want." His attention flicked up to her face. "And remember, I'll be in your mind tonight. No matter what."
She didn't have the brain cells to explain he needn't trouble himself, that she could handle things. That she just wanted him to forget their earlier exchange about Lord Graham.
"Because if I have to give one minute of thought to your care, I might find you too troublesome?"
"I didn't say -- "
"No, you didn't. And I find myself torn between wanting to paddle you to the point of blood for that, and wanting to ask your forgiveness again, for bludgeoning your sense of self-worth such that you don't think you have the right to expect more of me."
He settled his hand on her throat, a light collar above the necklace. While it was difficult to think through that possessive gesture, she struggled for the words. "It's not that. There's no equity in this world, Brian. You made it clear I had to accept that."
