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"It was rape, but most of it wasn't brutal, except that prick captain with his damned cigars. Just lonely men using a woman they considered the enemy." Yes, it had been worse than that, but as Seth said, she was good at compartmentalizing. He saw it, nodded, didn't pursue it.
"The vampire world is at an odd crossroads. There's a Council of sorts, trying to deal with our on-again, off-again territory wars. Trying to figure out ways for our species to survive our own power games and blood thirst. I could see someone like you being of great use in that world, a stabilizing influence, if you survive your first fifty years. Look at it this way. If you let me turn you, and you change your mind, all you have to do is sit in a doorway like this until the sun rises. Poof, you float away on the wind as ash."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "What about my immortal soul?"
"First time I've known you to worry about that." He grinned. "You probably startled the poor thing, asleep like an old friar in the corner. If there's one thing humans or vampires know less than nothing about, it's their immortal souls. Some days I suspect only beasts, trees or butterflies understand its true nature. End of discussion. Your deeds are your map to the afterlife, Kaela. You can only make choices about your earthly life and hope for the best about everything that comes afterwards."
SS
She'd made her decision, hadn't she? She hadn't had any clear sense of whether it was the right or wrong decision. In the end she'd gone on gut feeling.
"Do you want me in your mind, Kaela? Unable to hide any thought from me, no need to speak aloud because I already know what you want and need, even when you can't quite tell yourself?"
She thought of those words Garron had said to her. Was she wrong, not to give Garron the same option Seth had given her? He'd thrown her into a dangerous world, but by that time, she knew all about living in a dangerous world. He'd told her everything he could to prepare her for it and gave her the choice.
If she went that way with Garron, how would she know she hadn't rationalized, serving her own needs and ignoring his? Sacrifice was the only way to keep herself in the clear on that. But maybe that was the point Seth had been trying to make. There was no keeping clear when it came to choices that affected the soul.
Garron had told her it was his choice. Could she look at his scarred face, see the scars in his soul, and really believe she had a better grasp than he did of the consequences of choices? In the end, it was the peace made with those choices that mattered.
She looked along the jagged boardwalk, toward the castle rising high above them. A monument to things that endured everything. Battles, weather, ignorance. It had even persevered when brought God-knows-how to a whole new place, faced with a new reality, a new set of challenges.
"Garron Rand." She said his name quietly to herself. Said it in her mind. Garron Rand. Garron.
She'd been strong for close to two hundred years. She'd survived, but if she wanted to keep surviving, she had to make the right decision here. Vampires usually embraced their selfishness, and just like the human race itself, that self-centered attitude kept them alive, sure of their superiority to everything else. Until something knocked them down and reminded them forcefully what humility was--that they didn't know everything, and sometimes things had to be taken on faith. And what the heart wanted.
Serve me well, Lady Kaela. Lady's Lyssa's voice again. Three simple words. The head of the Council had left the rest to her, how best to do just that.
Garron.
Her heart rate speeded up, along with her pulse. She wasn't speaking his name to keep her company. She was calling him. Garron.
The sudden silence filled her with dread. Had it already happened, that break between their minds? Was he back at Club Sin, lining up his next submissive session? Had she meant so little, that he could dismiss her that way? Bastard. She imagined dismembering the faceless submissive, one lovely long limb at a time.
She was losing her mind. Of course he wasn't doing that. He'd been her Master. He was her Master. He'd left the choker on her, and she put her fingers over the heavy links of the chain she'd refused to remove. She took a breath, inhaled the scent of his T-shirt. With every movement she could feel those two brands, still tender, a dull throb she'd embraced. He hadn't given those things to anyone else.
Master. Please forgive me. Please answer. God damn you, answer me.
Yes, my lady?
There was amusement in his mind voice, and it brought relief, as well as a little exasperation. Were you just waiting, seeing how desperate I would become?
My lady, I'm not a sadist.
Yes, you are. She closed her eyes, smiling as her heart beat faster. Please come home with me. Be my Master...and my servant.
You only had to ask.
Her eyes sprang open, verifying the scent the small crack in her window had brought her. He was walking down the dock, a duffle slung over his shoulder. He was coming to her, but she couldn't wait that long.
"I need out. Let me out. He's coming. He's joining us."
Joely glanced back at her, then out at the dock. She smiled at Kaela. "Just turn the latch, my lady."
As she said it, Kaela was a blink from wrenching the door off its hinges and throwing it to the side. She was out of the plane in a flash, down the docks, not caring who might see her moving faster than a human could move. It was dark, and he was all she could see.
She flung herself in his arms, forgetting her strength, forgetting everything but him, but fortunately he'd dropped the duffle and she only knocked him back a few steps. He rocked on his heels but kept his balance, holding her tight against him, cupping the back of her skull.
"I'm here, my lady. I'll always be here."
"I won't be able to bear it if they hurt you. I won't."
"They can't hurt me past bearing if you're mine." He let her slide down to the dock, though he kept her in his arms as he gave her his steady look, the one that calmed her and made her want to beg for his mouth at the same time. "Do you understand that?"
I want to. But if the worst happens...
"It's the risk we take," he said, matter-of-fact. "The only question worth answering is, is the risk worth it? Is it something we can't live without?"
"I already know my answer to that."
"Yeah, you do." He gave her a cocky grin and she pushed at his chest. She didn't budge him, a testament to the bull strength of the man.
"And I guess you being here is your answer?" she demanded.
"Yeah." He touched her face. "I told you it was my choice. I was waiting you out, just out of sight and down wind, but if you'd waited one more second, I was going to be down this dock and on that plane. I was going to camp outside your door until you agreed it was my choice to make." He frowned. "Where did you say you live?"
"I didn't. California."
"Christ. Crazy liberals and overpriced coffee. The sacrifices I make."
She snorted at that. "If you camped outside my door, Fran would call the police. We'd file restraining orders."
He smiled, slid his fingers into her hair. "I'm coming with you, my lady. Everything I face in your service will be my choice. Everything you face from me behind closed doors will be your choice. Agreed?"
She nodded, and her heart hammered up in her throat again as he bent and captured her mouth with his, a hot, fully invasive kiss where he made it clear who belonged to who, his hands roaming down to grip her buttocks, knead with bruising force as she spoke her pleasure in his mouth, little unintelligible noises of need.
He kept one possessive arm around her even after he broke the kiss, bent and retrieved his duffle. As they proceeded to the plane, Joely shot him an amused look.
"Wondered when you were going to show up," she called out over the idling engines. "Figured starting her up would light a fire under you."
"Mess with me, I'll tell Roan to put you over a spanking bench next time he's here."
"Yeah, not going to happen. Too into Miranda now." Joely smirked at him and turned
her attention to the controls. As she revved up the engines again, Garron tossed his bag into one of the empty seats behind her and helped Kaela in, directing her toward the back of the plane with a firm pressure against her lower back. He gave her the window seat as he slid into the seat next to her, his thigh intimately against hers. The plane rocked as he settled, making Kaela smile.
