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Her brow rose. "Of course. He has been difficult in Council meetings of late, particularly on this servant issue."
"Which I'm sure you expected." Uthe smiled. "However, since you deposed him as head of Council, he has an even greater regard for you. It is his nature to respect violence and strength. He is a battering ram, but if you point him in the right direction, he will understand the nature of the door better. He also represents the less enlightened thinking of many of our kind, so if you heed his perspective, you'll find the right balance to ensure change doesn't happen too swiftly."
"I don't disagree. Thank you, my lord. But returning to the issue of Mariela, perhaps I should temporarily assign her as a second mark to Helga, until your return?"
"If another appropriate vampire isn't available for her service now, that would be welcome. But I will not take her as mine again." This was a tricky point. There was so much he had to keep hidden.
"You tell me you must go on a trip, and that you do not know when you will return. I think you are softening the blow of this conversation. Will you return, Lord Uthe?" When he did not respond, she leaned forward and clasped his hand in slim fingers, an unexpectedly intimate gesture. "Not too long ago, when I had to choose someone for the Queen's dance at the Vampire Gathering, you took my hand and offered to dance with me. You wanted to help me manage the loss I was feeling over losing my husband Rex and my former servant Thomas. And though you did not know it, you were helping me deal with the certain death I thought I was facing at that time. We are vampires, and yet your compassion and honesty have always set you apart, Lord Uthe. It is not your vampire blood that drives you, but things far deeper and more powerful. Those things have been a foundation for me and this Council, and I am unspeakably loathe to lose them or you."
Her expression was sincere, her eyes telling him the truth of her deep affection for him. "We have fought the Territory Wars and built this Council together. We have experienced loss, frustration and victories. Set aside formality, and let's speak plainly. What can I do to prevent the tragedy of losing you? Is there nothing?"
By the Cross, he was getting hit by a surfeit of emotion tonight. He should have stayed away from the women in his life and ducked out like a thief in the night.
Instead, he shifted further forward and rested his forehead against hers. There was a comfort there he couldn't deny himself or question the act. The familiarity brought back those times of which she'd spoken. He remembered a night during the Territory Wars where they'd been outnumbered in a skirmish. They'd defeated their opponents regardless.
Due to her slender frame and short stature, the femininity that emanated from her like a bouquet of delicate roses, it was hard to see her as a savage and exceptional warrior, until one saw it firsthand and never forgot it again. It was why when she'd challenged Belizar for Council leadership he'd known she was going to win, and the power structure of Council was going to change.
On the long ago night during the Territory Wars, she'd sat on top of a corpse she'd created, using the fallen's shirt to wipe off the blades she'd used to hamstring him before she staked him. She'd been humming something like a lullaby. Uthe understood she was using the haunting tune to center and distance herself, from the horror of having to kill their brethren to ensure the survival of them all. At a recent Christmas gathering in her home, he'd heard her hum the same song to her son Kane when she was rocking him to sleep.
She stroked the back of Uthe's head, much as she'd done to her son then, offering comfort. "Stay here," she murmured. "Let me help. I would care for you and protect you however is needed."
It startled him, the insight so close to what he already knew and had barely acknowledged himself, but he squeezed his eyes closed, and drew strength from her love and his own resolve. He lifted his head and straightened, attempting proper decorum. "My lady honors me," he said in a thick voice. "It is difficult beyond description to resist the offer of being forever in your presence, but my regard for you is part of why this quest must be done."
She studied his face with shrewd eyes. Uthe recalled Lord Reghan looking at him much the same way when they'd made the decisions that had led to this moment.
Squeezing her hands, he rose, clearing his throat. "I will take my leave within the next couple days, as soon as I see to Mariela. If I may presume upon your friendship, please make my good-byes once I depart. I'm more susceptible to emotion about this than I expected. I cannot lose my resolve."
"Your honesty tempts me to be dishonorable and drown you in sentiment to keep you here, but I know you, Lord Uthe. Even if your heart broke in pieces, you would never allow it to keep you from what your honor and your God demand of you. It is why I've ever trusted your counsel."
Allowing herself a tight, sad smile, she rose with him. "Very well. It will remain our secret...and Mariela's, until your departure." She placed her elegant hand on his face. "You are a great friend, Lord Uthe. I pray you have a safe journey and safe return, for you will always be welcome in my home. Always."
Her many years showed in her face like the timelessness of smooth rock, worn by water's flow and polished. One might miss how many compressed years and experiences lay behind that remarkable beauty. He felt her stature like a towering Goddess.
"You asked if you might do something for me. It will not keep me here as you wish, but it will aid my quest." He sank to one knee before her, keeping his eyes on her face so he saw the flicker of surprise. "If you would bless my journey with your favor, and allow me to kiss the hem of your gown, I would deem it a far greater gift than this poor knight is worth."
It was rare that a vampire took his eyes off another, for it made him vulnerable. So he did it deliberately, lowering his eyes and bowing his head, awaiting her decision. Her finger tips whispered along his hair. "Lift your head, Lord Uthe," she said after a moment. "But keep your eyes closed."
He did, and quivered as her lips pressed against his throat, her fang sliding along the pulse there, a tiny needlelike sensation. Then she laid her hand on his head. "You have my blessing, Lord Uthe, and my command that you return to my side and service as soon as your conscience permits."
He didn't lift her hem to his mouth. No honorable knight would do such a thing. Instead he bent all the way to the floor and kissed the edge of her dark gown there. When he straightened and rose to his feet, for both their sakes he ignored the glistening in her right eye that suggested a threatening tear.
"'Our Lady was the beginning of our Order," he said. "In her and in her honor, if we please God, will be the end of our lives and the end of our Order, whenever God wishes it to be.'"
Lyssa arched a brow, and Uthe explained. "A quote from St. Bernard, who supported the Templars. Having that subconscious desire for a Goddess to worship, as so many do in a patriarchal religion, he was a devotee of the Virgin Mary. When I am in your presence, seeing your wisdom guide this Council and all our kind, his words come back to me."
He met her gaze then, as an equal, as a mentor, as one whose advice she'd valued. "In you, I see the strength and endurance, the suffering and ferocity ascribed to every feminine face of the Divine since the beginning of time, my lady. It has been a privilege to serve a queen worth serving."
The flash of emotion crossing her face was an even broader stroke this time, but he saved them both embarrassment with one last quick squeeze of her hand and looked toward her servant, standing silently in the shadows. "Care for your Mistress, Jacob. As I would and even better, as you always do and always will."
Jacob's blue eyes were steady as he bowed. "God grant you peace, my lord."
Uthe nodded and started toward the door. He'd almost reached it when Lyssa spoke. "My lord Uthe?"
He paused. "My lady?"
"Before I allow you to depart, I demand at least one piece of the puzzle from you."
"I will never lie to you, my lady."
"I mean I must have this truth, whether you wish to reveal it or not. A courteous refusal to tell me is not the same,
is it not?"
"No, my lady." He would miss her clever tongue.
"How old are you, Uthe? Truly?"
She made him smile. In the answering glimmer in her eye, he saw she intended it. It eased his heart in ways he couldn't explain. "You are not the oldest among us, my lady."
