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"My episodes of Ennui, the forgetfulness... I think at times they are triggered by my fear of it happening at the wrong time, wrong moment. I do not fear that when you are by my side."
"Well then, that is where I shall stay. For I would not want your reputation of astounding courage to be tarnished."
"It could be awhile. I am immortal."
Keldwyn scoffed, though his eyes remained steady and focused on Uthe. "A vampire's immortality is but a child's life span next to a Fae's. Spending that time with you will be like taking a vacation, give or take a century. But I will make a demand of you."
"Only one? It must be a slow day for you."
"You goad my temper only because you think yourself spent," Keldwyn said mildly. "Else you would not risk it."
"You assume I've ever been intimidated by Fae arrogance," Uthe informed him. "Power is in the hands of the Lord. You may decimate me, my lord, but I was ever only dust."
"Not to me." Keldwyn closed his hand over Uthe's, and the strength of his grip brought Uthe's eyes back to him. "Though if you know anything of me, you know how highly I prize the earth. But I would ask that you attend to my words seriously, as they are meant."
"Of course." Uthe sobered. "I did not mean to hurt you, Kel."
"You have the ability to do that, vampire," Keldwyn said after a weighted moment. "My soul is in your hands, and I demand you not take it anywhere I cannot be with you. Varick... I want you to give me your third mark. Bind us permanently, in the way of your kind."
Uthe stared at him. "The Ennui is affecting my brain, my lord. I thought you just asked to be third-marked."
"Your mind is sharp as necessary, and you heard me correctly."
"Ennui is degenerative. If it accelerates to violent mood swings, savage acts of sadism and total apathy to a moral code, I was relying on you to take my life, if I did not have the clarity to do it myself."
Kel's expression darkened, but he inclined his head. "You may still rely on me for that."
"Kel, with the third mark, if I die, you die. That's the way it works. I'm not sure even a powerful Fae would be exempt from the pull of that bond."
"I'm fifteen hundred years old, Lord Uthe. Do you think I have not lived long enough?"
"Perhaps I don't want to be stuck with you for all eternity," Uthe retorted, "especially if it's true that the mark is not severable, even after death." But his hand constricted on the Fae's. "You could never live long enough, my lord."
Kel's eyes gleamed. "Perhaps it is no request, but a demand I make of you. Though it may not be a problem, regardless. You drank from the Grail and the power of it gave you back to me. Perhaps the Ennui was eliminated with it, or its acceleration arrested for a time."
All attempt at humor disappeared. "You had me drink from the Grail?" Uthe tried to struggle up, but found he was still terribly weak. Even the ribbons impeded him. He shoved Kel's hands away from him, though, managing to sit up on his own. "What if it only has a limited amount of magic to give? Not for me, but to God goes all the glory. I would not have taken from it. You know that."
"No, you wouldn't have. But I would. I put my blood in the Grail." Keldwyn leaned forward. "I did not care if you were already bathed in the light of Heaven, lolling in eternal bliss with a hundred handsome male virgins. I was not giving you up without a fight, without trying every means at my disposal. I had to let Reghan go because his heart was not mine. Yours is. I will not share it with anyone or release it before I am damned ready, even to your God. You are bound to me, and that is how it will stay, unless you convince me that you do not care to be mine."
Pissed off, Keldwyn was impressive and intimidating. And beautiful. Uthe was overwhelmed by him, by the rage and determination he felt emanating from the Fae Lord. He was the epitome of every temptation the Templars had been exhorted to avoid, reject or deny themselves, but that wasn't what held Uthe spellbound. He truly was handing Uthe his soul.
"So you love me then," Uthe said slowly.
Keldwyn had risen to his feet. His brow creased, his eyes narrowing. Then he crossed his arms, shifting to one hip, which merely drew Uthe's eyes to the way the tight leggings outlined his buttock and cradled his sex. Blessed Christ, the male was a feast for an insatiable vampire appetite. Any type of celibacy, emotional or otherwise, would be impossible around him. "As discomfiting as it may be for both of us, it seems it is so," the Fae Lord said darkly.
Uthe lifted a hand. "Please let me stand on my feet before you, my lord."
"You are still weak. I will come to you." Keldwyn knelt in front of Uthe so they faced one another. "You did not answer me. Do you not care to belong to me?"
"You know the answer to that." Uthe reached out and threaded his fingers through the male's hair. "I called you Master," he said, low. "And I meant it. But I will not join you to my fate, my lord. Over time, as the Ennui takes more and more of the mind, there is evidence it begins to affect a servant. Not only would it be unconscionable of me to give you the third mark knowing that, it would be a hazard to both our worlds. We are powerful members of our respective species. You could kill me to stop any unforgivable transgressions. In the vampire world, I do not know who could stop you and your magic."
"Life and love have a great deal to do with risks," Keldwyn said. "You are an intelligent male, my lord. I believe when you take my blood, your mind is sharper than it is when you take a human servant's blood. When you fed from Alanna, she sustained your energy but not your mind. I think the magical properties of my blood might reduce or delay the impact of the Ennui upon you."
Uthe considered it, hope kindling a small light inside him. Keldwyn didn't make wild or unfounded hypotheses. "The theory in your world is that Ennui is an affliction of time, the torpor that can descend upon a soul at the endless cycles of life," the Fae Lord continued. "What if it is also chemical, certain vampires more disposed to it than others? Look at Lady Lyssa. She has had no effects from it, but Rex, who was younger than her, was heavily afflicted. From the stories I've heard, he was well in the grip of those sadistic urges of madness within a short time of being affected. You have been dealing with it far longer."
"You have no proof of any of this. Just some random observations. Lord Brian would say that is not enough."
"I can give Queen Rhoswen the ability to end my life. As Unseelie Queen, as long as she has my oath of fealty, I am bound to allow her to strip me of my powers whenever she deems it suitable. She threatens it often enough."
"But you have to allow it. What if you are so far gone that you will not allow it?"
"There are bindings I can let her place on me now, or at the first hints of these things, to ensure she can force it to happen if need be." Keldwyn set his jaw. "I am already cut off from the Fae world, Uthe, as long as I am marked by a vampire. I will not be serving as the Fae court liaison for the immediate future. I am officially removed as the Vampire Council liaison, though I expect Lyssa will still want my guidance for Fae matters."
Uthe grimaced. "You told Queen Rhoswen."
"There have been many things happening since you have been taking a nap."
Uthe curled his fingers around Keldwyn's wrist, never mind that his grip was as much to keep him from falling over, even in his seated position, as it was to make his point. "You may command some things of me, my lord, but this will be my decision. I will not make it until I am sure I can protect you from both my deteriorating mind and the repercussions of your Queen. She is lovely and powerful, but she is not kind."
"Neither am I." Kel shrugged. He put his hand on Uthe's shoulder to steady him. "We are Fae, after all. You're vampires. You should understand the scintillating appeal of sadism."
"I will not see you suffer on my account," Uthe said firmly. "And I won't make this decision in this weakened state, bound in your ribbons."
"Very well." Keldwyn toppled them with one graceful move, so they were stretched out on the grass together. Sliding an arm under Uthe's shoulders, he turned him toward him, tiltin
g his head back so the artery in his throat pulsed close to Uthe's lips. "Strengthen yourself, my lord, and then notice how much clearer your mind becomes. Regain your strength so you can see things my way."
