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"Sorry, I'm still hard," the vampire said, without sounding particularly apologetic. "It's a vampire thing. Ignore it. I don't want that from you right now."
Or translation: He wasn't so much of a bastard that he would try to take it in this moment.
Rand closed his eyes. He could feel the vampire's cock against his lower back, and it reminded him of how this had all started, the vampire's hand on him, his mouth. He hadn't been ready for that, too much else pushing down on him, but now it had all drained away, the plug pulled. Why not focus on the temptation, take another type of drug, before the sadness filled him up again?
Rand hated himself for thinking it. Why couldn't his pain make him immune to that type of need? It should.
But what did it matter? There was no right way to deal with loss. If turning into a wolf or lying with a vampire gave him a moment's distraction, who was he to be high and mighty and pretend he wasn't truly an animal at heart, resorting to physical gestures to minimize mental pain? Maybe sex could push things away. Even if it made him simultaneously feel horrible.
"Something you want, wolf?" Cai said. His tone was quiet, neutral. Not taunting or even seductive. "You quivered against me just then. If you want something, ask for it."
Rand shook his head. If you want sex, do it. I need it, want it, but I'm never going to beg for it.
"That's why the promise of tomorrow is so sweet, wolf,' Cai muttered. "All the nevers that can be toppled."
Cai didn't fuck him, though. He pressed his cock against Rand's ass, and Rand moved back against him. Cai's hips moved just enough, Rand's counter push rocking them in a sweet, delicious roll of feeling. The vampire was being slow, gentle, easy. His hand slid around Rand's hip, and he cupped Rand's balls and cock, covering as much of them as he could, and pressing tight, using that intimate but stationary hold to keep Rand where he was, just as close.
It was arousing but also enough on its own. The contact, a possession of sorts, brought a sense of relief Rand didn't want to examine too closely. He let out a breath, and the vampire shifted his grip up to his chest, their fingers interlacing like a net, drawing them closer together.
Rand pressed his face into the ground, making a despairing noise as Cai's mouth found his throat. He gripped Rand's jaw and tried to turn his face back toward him for a kiss. Rand shook his head and kept his face pressed down. No kissing, nothing that intimate. Just simple fucking, nothing complicated.
The vampire paused. Cai could push it, Rand knew, force the issue. But in the end he didn't, holding them in that spooned, finger-interlaced embrace, rocking them. Rand got lost in the movement, which kept him a hand span above the memories of blood and death. It was a tenuous thread that could be snapped, but for this, he would stay human a little longer.
Just a little longer. But he was still leaving.
Chapter Five
Cai beat him to it. In a manner of speaking.
Daylight found the vampire gone. Last night, he'd reminded Rand he went to ground during sunlight, since over the past few days Rand had been mostly unconscious during the daylight hours.
Right. Vampires and sun didn't mix.
"Go wherever you want to go, wolf," Cai had added. "If I have the desire to track you, I'll catch up. With the first and second mark, it's a waste of energy to hide or run from me. But I'd suggest you find a place nearby to take it easy. Another full day of rest, and you should be good to go. So to speak."
Rand had made it clear, rather nastily, that if he chose to leave the vampire's company, that was not to be interpreted as running or hiding from him. It merely showed Cai was too thickheaded to get the hint. Cai had flashed his annoyingly devastating grin and said nothing more. His hand had whispered down Rand's flank, clamped on it hard and given his ass a bruising pinch. The fingerprints were still visible on Rand's human flesh in the morning light, so he shifted pretty fast back to wolf.
Rand wondered if the vampire had found a cave, but his scent ended right at the camp boundary. Must be another vampire skill, and a damn annoying one. Rand didn't like not knowing where Cai was. Not because he gave a damn, but to respect the wisdom of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
He wasn't sure Cai was an enemy, but he couldn't think of him as a friend, no matter the confusing signals the male sent. When he'd found Rand in the woods last night, he could have pushed the sex, and Rand would have gone along with it. But he hadn't. It made it harder to categorize his interest in Rand as merely a new diversion.
That would be easier, though. Rand wasn't opposed to fucking as human. Humans savored and explored the act at levels far different from the rest of the animal world. Cai had reminded him of that, vividly. Everyone knew vampires were seductive and gorgeous, and so sexually driven that even a fledgling became an experienced lover in no time. So why shouldn't Rand enjoy the vampire's skill?
It wasn't like empty sex with a promise of nothing else could suck any more life out of his soul. Couldn't get any marrow from a dry bone.
That's what he told himself, but when Rand had the thought, it came with the hope the vampire woke up with no desire to track him and moved on. Then Rand wouldn't have to deal with a decision or choice. Truth, if Rand had less pride, he would have spent the entire day running to put as much distance between them as possible, in the hopes of being too inconvenient to bother with.
But Cai had said it would take a few thousand miles to be out of mind-touch range. If Rand couldn't shut the vampire out of his head, he would find a more effective way to kill himself. Or the vampire.
Rand paused in a patch of sunlight, sure he felt a frisson of humor run through his mind in a way he hadn't initiated. As if the vampire was listening to him and was...amused. Bastard.
I need something to take into my dreams with me, wolf. I showed admirable restraint last night. Put your hand on your cock and stroke yourself to release.
What? No. Good grief, was the vampire never sated? Though with that damn second mark, his body responded to the suggestion with an annoying twitch of interest in his lower parts.
I can see it in my mind. Cai was continuing his annoying fantasizing. You, stretched out on the grass, your fingers wrapped over yourself, ass pressing into the earth as you thrust and retreat, thrust and retreat. And then you roll onto your knees as you get close, and spill your seed, holding yourself up on one arm, hard muscles rippling like water over your back and shoulders, your hair falling forward. If you get your come in it, you could bathe in a creek, and I could feel you doing that, the cool water on your heated flesh, you sliding your fingers through your hair to comb it back from your face...
No. He was in wolf form. He didn't want to become human. But the vampire was too good at this.
Maybe if you have time between self-destructive urges today, you'll think about what we could do tonight when I rise. How I'll want you with such fierce hunger, I won't leave you any choices, no room for guilt or sorrow in your mind. I'll call your hunger to mine.
Rand dropped into a seated position and irritably scratched his ear with one back foot. Boy toys in city, he thought in abbreviated wolf speak. Go. Too needy for me.
I like it out here in the wild, where I have you all to myself. Do it, Rand. Or I'll bug the shit out of you for the next three hours. I can hold out that long before I have to sleep. Though it takes a lot out of me, which means I'm likely to wake cranky and rape your fine ass rather than finesse it.
Rip your dick off with teeth first.
He'd rather have the vampire's savagery than the finesse that messed with his head, so Cai being cranky wasn't a great threat. But three hours of incessant talking? Christ.
The male was proving it, rattling on about something...McDonald's hamburgers? How he preferred them without the onions, and then there were the new drink machines, the ones that mixed flavors with one button, and totally sucked because they didn't taste right or as sharp as the other way of preparing the sodas...
Shut up if...I do? Rand once again ig
nored the eager leap of his loins which suggested it had different reasons for wanting to comply, other than his grudging agreement under the threat of chatty blackmail.
I know every Sesame Street song by heart.
With a sigh that nearly heaved him back onto his feet, Rand shifted into his human form, ending up on his hands and knees. "Not if you want my cock hard," he said with a scowl.
Then get to it.
Rand didn't like the hard lust that shot through his balls at the clear command. He thought longingly of how he would shift back to wolf, soon as he did this for the vampire.
He settled at the base of a tree, a convenient arrangement of roots forming a vee-shaped notch for his ass and a prop for his calf as he stretched one leg out and left the other bent, knee hooked over the exposed root. His legs were spread, yet he was in a comfortable sprawl.
Nice. He could almost hear the husky heat in Cai's mind voice.
Putting his head back against the tree's broad trunk, Rand slid his hand down his abdomen and curled his fingers around his dick.
Cup your balls first. Squeeze and stroke them. Let your thumb tease the base of your cock as you do it. The way I'd do it. Only I'd tighten my hand on you when you least expect it, holding you fast, pulling so you arched up to follow my hold...
The vampire could paint pictures in his head. Telling himself he was doing it to get it over with, Rand followed his direction, his lower belly coiling up tight as he squeezed and caressed himself. It sort of felt like the vampire was doing it, having him in his mind like this. The wind moved through the branches, touching his face.
