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She and Lynn were the cooks in the family, and Rand appreciated their efforts, especially at the late hour. Dinner was generous platters of venison, with cornbread muffins and collards, the latter dutifully eaten under Lynn's sharp eye. She firmly reminded everyone that human health had to be tended as much as wolf health. When Darcy pointed out impishly Cilya had put an artery-clogging amount of butter into the greens to make them go down better, Cilya swatted her head with a smile, admonishing her not to be a tattle-tale.
Rand commented on the crops they had growing to supplement income and asked if the milking cows had ever seemed spooked by the underlying wolf scent that other animals could detect, even when a shifter was in human form.
That set off a rash of anecdotes about mishaps the younger ones had had when they were learning to control their shifting.
"Though Darcy did it deliberately once," Todd said, shooting a teasing look at his younger sister. The girl, with a vibrant, dyed-red mop of corkscrew hair, and twinkling brown eyes amid a scattering of freckles, gave a mock scowl.
"There was a storm coming and I needed them to get into the barn. They were being stubborn, so I shifted and chased them all in."
"She was as good as a border collie," Chad added. "I said we should enter her in a competition so she could bring home blue ribbons to compete with my track trophies."
As the banter continued, Rand tried hard not to let it happen, but the scene blurred, and it was another family sitting around him, the give and take of conversation between those who knew and loved one another. Family. Those with hopes and dreams for futures that would never come.
Even a five-year-old could have strong opinions. Maple wanted to be an astronaut. Teague was like Fane's Stalker. He just wanted to be a wolf and a farmer, never going anywhere near a human city. Cira, she'd been undecided, changing her mind from day to day, depending on what book they read together at bedtime.
And Shy... She'd curled in her father's arms and said she wanted to be his little girl forever. Something only a little girl would say.
At a touch on his arm, Rand tuned back in to realize, mortified, that every eye was upon him, and he had tears rolling down his face. It was Cilya's hand upon him, her dark eyes filled with kindness. Fane was on the other side, his palm molded over Rand's shoulder.
"It's all right," Lynn said softly. She was across the table, and had moved her foot to press it against Rand's. "We understand, Rand. How could we not? I'm so very sorry."
He nodded. "I'm uh...going to..."
He struggled to get up, free himself from the confines of the picnic table style seating of the big dining table. Fane rose to give him room, which made Rand feel more self-conscious. Once he managed it, aware of the hands reaching out to steady him, he mumbled something he hoped was polite and appropriate and left the kitchen. He and Fane were supposed to go check out the Trad camp after dinner, but he could come back later for that.
Rand kept going until he reached the front door, the porch, the steps, and he was out into the night, away from the house. He needed to breathe.
Fortunately, Fane understood, for no one followed him. Rand took deep gulps of air. He wondered what Cai was doing, where he was.
But then he wished he hadn't thought about it. A cold knot formed in his belly. Cai thought he might be alone tomorrow night, that Rand would change his mind about backing him up. The vampire didn't count on anyone to stay true to their word, even himself. And, assuming he'd be alone, Cai would want to be well fortified with blood. He'd gone to kill.
No. Not tonight. But I did get myself a big meal. And I didn't doubt you'd keep your word. I just hoped you'd think better of it.
There was a momentary silence, where Rand felt like Cai was even deeper inside him than he was himself, seeing things Rand couldn't face. Like Cilya and her ability to intuit the needs of the young, only Cai's insightfulness was targeted right at the man, and what they knew about each other.
I'm about a mile away, if you want to come to me, wolf. I'm here. I'm sure you can pick up my vampire stench.
Rand took off his clothes, left them folded under a tree, and shifted. He took off, not dwelling on why he went away from that warm cheerful light and happy family, toward a surly vampire who wouldn't know what a pack and family meant if his life had depended on it.
Well, his life had depended on never counting on anyone, right? So that made sense. Yet when Cai told Rand where he was, Rand heard two things in the information. Not just an acknowledgement of where Rand's head was, what he might need, but what Cai himself might be wanting.
He found the vampire lying on his stomach in a moonlit meadow, hands stacked and pillowing the side of his face. He had his eyes closed as he apparently digested his meal. Rand sat down next to him, pressing furred warmth against his cold side. Cai didn't act cold, but Rand was glad to give him warmth and he wanted the contact. He laid down, resting his big head on Cai's back, between his shoulder blades.
"Good boy," Cai murmured. No biting sarcasm to it, no teasing. It made Rand feel odd, but not unpleasant, so he kept lying there. The male had no shirt or shoes on, just his jeans.
"I've hung out at a bunch of libraries afterhours," Cai said. "Books say
grief heals after a while. And it helps when you're around people who actively help with the healing process. Rather than those who live their own miserable, solitary existence."
Rand rubbed his face against Cai's back.
"Do not get your drool on me." The male's shoulders lifted in a sigh. "Not talking to me tonight, hmm? Staying deep in that wolf head of yours."
Rand rolled to his side, putting the aforementioned head on the small of Cai's back and rise of his ass. He stretched his paws out before him. He didn't want to feel sad. He just wanted to feel like a wolf.
"Okay. Don't let me sleep through sunrise. That would suck."
Cai didn't say anything else but that. They both slept for a time, though Rand thought they alternated staying semi-alert to their surroundings, so he was aware when Fane approached. Cai's eyes opened, but Rand rose to handle it.
When he padded to the edge of the clearing, Fane met him there. The male was in his human form.
If he was offended that Rand had left his hospitality to be here, with Cai, he didn't show it. But he could understand, couldn't he? They had seven children, and every parent thought about the nightmare of losing them.
"Stalker and I checked out the Trad camp." He shook his head at Rand's laid-back ears. "We risked nothing but the vampires scenting a couple wolves, and we were well out of range of their vision. But a female vampire is there. Young, like you described." Fane hesitated, his jaw tightening. "I also thought I detected human female, but the life signs were faint, masked somehow. Perhaps old prey. It was hard to tell."
So Cai's instincts had been right. Goddard had her. Rand just wished it wasn't so close to dawn, so that they could go now.
The Trads have to sleep through daylight as well, Cai reminded him. And before you think it, no, you trying to take her after sunrise won't work. She's too young to survive being transported during daylight hours, since we don't exactly have a road to bring in a fancy vehicle like that van. Goddard's also old enough that, below ground, he could still wake up and fight you, even in the middle of the day. And I couldn't help you until the sun went down.
