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Chapter 1
Control is temporal, but some bonds will last forever if you submit to the blessing of their existence upon you.
To Mary, who deserves joy in every form.
To Ben and Gil, who contributed considerable inspiration to this work.
To my husband, always.
Chapter 1
"Good grief, Lisette, don't worry so much. " Lauren tossed her duffel bag into the front of the boat and began to tie the waterproof tarp over her belongings. "I used to camp by myself in the Blue Ridge all the time during college. And you said I'd be perfectly safe there, that the only reason you all lock your doors at all is to keep out the occasional sticky-fingered fisherman. " She straightened, eyes twinkling, and pointed. "There's the island. I'll be a dot, but a very visible dot, when I reach the dock. "
"But Thomas could take you over in the Whaler. You know, boating like this, by yourself, it's not safe.
And I feel so bad, because I had hoped - "
"Don't start again," Lauren took her friend's hand. "I'm glad you've been asked to go on a book signing tour. Strange as it sounds, and as much as I enjoy your company, I think I need the time alone. I'm going to lay out on the beach, cook myself dinner, and read books until I sack out at night. " Her chin tightened.
"This is my gift to me. "
"Well, just do me a favor and give my machine a call once a day, okay? I'll check it from Toronto. I know Josh will be there, but I'd still feel better knowing - "
"Whoa, back up, rewind. Josh?"
Lisette waved away Lauren's narrow look. "He's the caretaker, carpenter, fix-it person. He keeps a little crofter hidden on the island. His phone number is in my kitchen if you need him. If he's not on the island, it forwards to his cell. And don't worry," Lisette grinned. "I'm not setting you up for a D. H. Lawrence novel. He's gay. He has a male 'friend' that comes down a lot and works with him on some of his projects. It's real obvious, they're both drop-dead gorgeous. They won't bug you. "
Lauren sighed, the corner of her mouth quirking up. "I don't know. I get a private tropical island all to myself for the weekend, nothing there but a handful of million-dollar retreat homes of world-famous artists and writers. I have to lay on the beach and watch two good-looking guys in tool belts who aren't the least bit interested in hassling me. It sounds wretched. I'm booking a flight back tonight. "
Lisette smiled and then surprised Lauren by pulling her into a tight hug. "I knew you'd bounce back," she murmured into Lauren's hair. "You always do. "
Yep, she was like a rubber ball, just bouncing off of every wall. Lauren embraced her friend, but her control slipped, and she held on longer than she intended. Lisette waited just long enough, then eased back with a teasing smile as if she hadn't noticed anything amiss.
"It's probably good I mentioned him," she added. "He's a little strange, and he might have startled you when and if you do meet him. "
"Strange, how?" Lauren snapped on her inflatable PFD.
"It's hard to describe. If you get a chance to talk to him, you'll see what I mean. I think he's stayed on the island by himself too long. " At Lauren's raised brow, Lisette lifted a shoulder. "It's like he's so used to silence, he has to think about how to form words. He'll look at me as if he's said something and he's waiting for an answer. Then he realizes he didn't say the question out loud. It's fascinating. "
"I sense a character about to be born," Lauren said.
"Honey, that's a done deal. You remember Gazing at Sirius , Jeremy -"
It was twenty more minutes before Lauren pulled in the dock lines and turned the JY16 toward Goat Island. Lisette had to assure herself Lauren had the charger for the cell phone, which was at the bottom of her bag, and hug Lauren several more times.
The wind was coming in perfectly across the starboard side of the boat as Lauren situated her feet under the hiking strap, and sheeted in the main and the jib. She had not sailed in some time, and the eager leap of the craft thrilled her as it took her out of the cove.
She looked back and raised her hand. Lisette waved and waved until distance and the movement of the water reduced her to a tiny figure.
Sailing had taught Lauren patience, the expectation that things go wrong. It tended to balance that with an ironic tranquility, the peace of working with nature to reach a goal. It was a view of life she had internalized, and was reflected in who she was professionally, as well as sexually.
She had graduated with honors from Duke University, and then fought her way to the top of their grueling medical program. She divided her residency between rural clinics in the North Carolina tobacco towns and the busy emergency room of the university hospital. A prestigious pediatrics practice in Atlanta accepted her immediately upon passing her boards. Now she was almost thirty, with an established base of patients, and two published papers to her credit.
Her family received appropriate and thoughtful gifts from her on birthdays and holidays, and she had a small group of loving childhood friends. She was healthy and happy with her life.
Lauren raised the dagger board, letting the counter weight of her body against the sails do the work of balancing the boat, and the craft responded with another burst of marvelous speed. She lifted her face to the wind and closed her eyes.
Yes, she was happy. But she was somewhat different than her close friends and colleagues. On Friday nights, when she bid goodnight to her co-workers, some would go to the bars and restaurants that catered to unwinding professionals, while others went home to the spouse and children. Lauren went home and prepared for a far different type of evening.
