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For me, it turned into a power trip, and a dangerous one. I know now it's a game others can play, but I can't. I shouldn't be here, shouldn't be doing this. " He shook his head. "You're right. Take them off. "
Lauren met his rational gaze. Too rational. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Let me go. We need to stop this. I need to stop this. "
She considered him. "I don't know if that's the right thing to do. "
"Were you listening?" he snapped, making her jump with his abrupt venom. "You don't. . . you're fine, you're perfect," he closed his eyes, averted his face as she stepped closer, "You're perfect," he said raggedly. "It works for you. But I'm a monster. "
"No," she shook her head.
He jerked at the right arm. "Listen, let me go. I don't need to argue it, I just need to go. "
"To run. "
"Yes, to run," he snarled. "What do you care? Let me go!"
"No," she repeated, sure of herself now. She stepped back and loosed the whip from its coil again.
Josh stopped, stared at her. "What?"
Lauren wet her lips, shifted her weight to one hip so the fabric shimmered, giving him a brief glance of the body beneath. "You heard me well enough. You need to stop running from the truth, Josh. The real truth. " Her voice had become cool, authoritative, and his attention seemed divided between incredulity and apprehension, shifting between her face, the whip and the displayed delights of her body.
"Let me go," he said between gritted teeth, and yanked against the cuffs, hard enough that the cross proved it had indeed been designed to hold a strong man, for the wood did not groan and the manacles did not allow him to budge the slightest amount.
He was there, bound for her intentions, until she deemed otherwise. It made her hot all over, especially now that she could see the paved road to hell clearly. There was one last exit, right before the pit of flames, so close to the precipice they might be scarred by the damning heat. Or purified by it, depending on how right she was. She took Josh's advice, and followed instinct.
"You like to play, Josh," she said, her voice becoming almost gentle. In contrast, the whip arced up, slashed across his ribs. He gasped, cursed.
"Your crime," her voice rose over his feral growl. "is not in hold
ing back, but in pretending to be what you're not. You liked seeing her thrown to the ground, because that's exactly what she wanted you to feel. "
"No," he shook his head.
Lauren sidled closer, sliding her breasts against his abdomen and chest, brushing her pubic bone against his erect and bound shaft.
"Look at me, Josh. I wanted you spread, and tied. " She ran the handle of the whip up between his legs, lodged it firmly in the crevice between leg and testicles, making him feel the pressure against his scrotum.
"You are spread, and tied.
"I wanted your cock restrained so you couldn't come until I said so. " Her hand closed over it and he groaned, unable to do more than accept her caress, for the straps allowed him no room for movement.
"It is. You can't do anything without my permission. You want to fuck me, don't you?"
He stubbornly looked over her shoulder and flinched when the crop cracked on his flank. She wasn't holding back now. She made sure it hurt, and his teeth bit down on his bottom lip. There was a raging light growing in his eyes and she wanted it in flame. She wouldn't let him retreat into the coffin of his guilt.
Not this time.
"Tell me, Josh. You want to fuck me, fuck me hard. You want to feel me writhe beneath you, cry out; rake your back and ass with my nails. But you won't. "
She seized his chin in one hand, forced his eyes back to her face, those nails biting into his jawline. "You can't. You can't do it without my permission. " She leaned in, her lips touching his ear, which was turning a dull red. "I have to tell you it will bring me great pleasure. I have to order you to do it. You have to make sure it is what I want, because you tremble to please your Mistress. It pleased her to twist that in you. "
"No," he said, but there was a grain of uncertainty in his rough voice, the shift of his eyes. Lauren seized that grain. She let the emotion creep into her own voice, her fury with the unknown Winona.
"She made you abuse her, made you fuck her hard, rape her. She enjoyed the violence, but more than that, she enjoyed watching it make you think you were sick. She hurt you, Josh. She used you. Your unconscious knew it all the time. Why do you think you were always twisted up in knots?" His neck tensed, as if he would pull away from her grasp, but he couldn't, and her hand wouldn't let him.
"You wanted her to feel pain that night, because she betrayed you, Josh. Don't you see? You were never the Dom. She was . She was your Mistress. She was supposed to take care of you, love you. "
