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"I thought he was staring at you so funny that night we had dinner. Oh my God. And Thomas, he didn't even hesitate..."
Her eyes filled, confirming what he knew. She was blessed in friends. He spoke gruffly, not ready to show how much it had moved him, particularly yesterday. Marcus might be the Dom in that relationship, but it was Thomas who'd been immovable on taking Des home, not taking Des's no for an answer.
"Thomas said Elaine, his mom"--Des's aunt, something he was still trying to wrap his mind around--"could tell me more, when and if I'm ready."
"Des. Wow." She put her hand over his, and he gave her time to let it sink in, so she could marshal whatever questions she'd have. "I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but what are the chances? You meet me, and Thomas, one of my closest friends..."
"Yeah, Marcus pointed out the same thing when he told me about it. Fate, destiny, all that good stuff."
"Did he call you?"
"He came out to the job site. He and Thomas both." He was prepared for her to be upset that they hadn't talked to her first, but he saw it hit her with another blinked-back round of tears.
"They didn't want me to know in case you said no. Those idiots." But love saturated the insult, and her hand was tight around Des's. Then her eyes brightened and she touched his face.
"You have to admit it's a damn good sign from the universe. Kind of hard to say no to it."
"Tell me about it." He gave her a crooked smile. "I'm new to all this, Julie. Betty, my doctors...I'm not saying I got to where I am all by myself without help. That'd be the height of ego. But I'm not used to the level of emotional support, the sharing that comes with family, a woman who wants to be with me through all of it. I don't know how not to view it as..."
"Interference? Someone trying to run your life, tell you what to do, control things? Yeah, welcome to family culture shock." She dimpled. "I have faith in you. You'll get used to it. You might even move from tolerance to actually liking it, after a few decades. It grows on you, like an affectionate fungus."
He chuckled, but sat silently for a time, gathering his thoughts. Her fingertips glided back and forth across his chest, her eyes on him. She didn't speak, waiting him out, giving him time.
"I'm sure about Thomas's feelings, but how do you think Marcus really feels about it?" Because he knew exactly how he'd feel if Julie had decided to donate her kidney to someone.
"He'll be worried as hell and masking it," Julie said bluntly. "Thomas is what makes him human, and whole. But if Thomas can help, that's what he's going to do, and he'll do a good job all on his own making Marcus okay with it, don't worry. Marcus is a different kind of Dom from you. You have it as this simmering undercurrent delicious to feel, like being surrounded by a cocoon of vibrating energy, even when I'm not with you. You turn it up when it's time to let it out to play. Whereas Marcus..."
"It's usually at a nine, even at low level. Yeah, I picked up on that. Doms do take each other's measure. Have you ever watched the two of them have a scene?"
"Oh God, no." Her expression was comical. "I imagine it, which gets me stirred up, but I think they'd be horribly uncomfortable with me watching. Their favorite dungeon in New York is men only. Marcus will go to co-ed. He says he doesn't really give a shit about gay men's hang ups about doing scenes in co-ed clubs, but I think it's still a comfort zone thing for Thomas. I get it."
"Would it turn you on to watch them, if you could do it without embarrassment on either side?"
She snorted. "It would turn on anything with a pulse. I take it we're done talking about life and death decisions for a while?"
"We are." He squeezed her hand. "I haven't seen you in four days. I have bigger issues."
"I'm not fooled. You're trying to distract me with sex so I'll forgive you for the cone of silence."
"I would never try something that devious and underhanded. Besides, you already forgave me. You're a saint that way, forgiving the inevitable shortcomings of those around you."
"Mm-hm." She did a credible imitation of Billie Dee-Lite and earned a smile from him as he recognized it.
"Not bad."
"Well, it still needs work. But I think you actually have to be a formidable black woman to pull off the intonation. That 'who do you think you're fooling' and 'boy, I will so kick your ass' combo.
"Or a formidable black drag queen."
"Exactly." She paused to trace his cheek and jaw. "I know it can't always be perfect for us," she said seriously, "and I know you have to be your own person. I know I can be a steam roller when I'm worried and want to take care of someone I love. So we're going to hurt each other again. I'm not naive. I just need you to understand that when you pull away and close down, it leaves me all alone with years of built up insecurity about guys who walk away from me emotionally and physically."
"I know." He closed his hand over hers. "I'm sorry, Julie."
She glanced down at where his hand tangled with her other one in her lap. "I try to manage that shit on my own, but one of the things I like about you is how open you seem to be to me and my feelings. So I'll work on being better on my end if you could add one thing to that Billy Joel song."
She watched him figure it out, and he loved the pleasure in her eyes when he did. "The part that says when he's deep inside himself, not to be too concerned, because he doesn't really need anything while he's gone?"
"Yeah. If you could just send me a hug or two when you're in that place, stick your head out now and again, that would be great."
