AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"I told you I don't perform on stage, and see where that landed me." But he waved a hand, telling her he understood and wasn't going to push it, though she appreciated being asked. "There's a sub at Logan's club, Missive, who enjoys rope play. She's a knockout, too, a good-looking twenty-something blonde, but she's the real deal, not a poser, so she'll make a good impression on an audience."
In her professional capacity, Julie was pleased to hear it. As the woman sitting next to him, not so much. But she'd just told him she couldn't do it and, beyond that, it was a performance, like watching male and female leads do a love scene, even if their spouses were sitting in the audience.
Only Des didn't have a spouse, or girlfriend. No firm commitments. She wasn't looking for one herself. Hadn't she planned to have a talk about that with him? Don't be stupid. You and he have barely even started...whatever this is. And you haven't even decided in your mind you want to start anything.
Could she be more wishy-washy? She was being a coward and she knew it. She also had never asked him if he was involved with someone, but she was pretty sure he would have been up front about that, or Logan or Madison would have told her.
She rubbed her hand over her throat again unconsciously. He saw it, that ominous flash going through his gaze as he touched her hand there. She drew back, though, and hopped down off the dock, in time to see Madison pulling in. Great. A couple hours of being poked and prodded. She'd do it, but she wouldn't like it.
"There's Madison. Thanks for being willing to fill in for Pablo, okay?"
"Yeah." He was studying her. "You okay?"
"Totally. Touch base with Missive and let Harris know if you guys are a go. He'll coordinate everything with you and pull me in as needed. Tell Madison I'm just going in to grab my purse."
"Julie..."
But she pretended not to hear and went back into the building, letting the door close and trap her in shadows in the back hallway of the theater. You cannot afford this shit, she told herself. Time to do the hopefully unnecessary medical check, then get a hot shower to head off the worst of the aches and pains. The physical ones at least.
Maybe afterward she'd use a vibrator until she lost consciousness, so she wouldn't be having nightmares about or dwelling on her near-death experience. No, instead she'd be fantasizing about Desmond Hayes. She'd like to lie to herself and say she could ban him from any masturbation montage, but he was right.
She found him irresistible.
Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out. "Speak of the devil," she muttered.
Text me and tell me you're okay after your appointment. Madison says you're staying with her tonight and she's making you take a half day tomorrow. Unless you'd rather sleep in, I'll pick you up at nine to go to a farmers' market. A friendly non-date.
No. Definitely no. They were handling her. She didn't appreciate that.
There's a woman who makes a better-than-sex broccoli casserole.
There will be peanut butter cookies.
And homemade wine.
A WWII vet makes airplanes out of beer cans.
In the time she sat there staring at the phone and wrestling with her own responses, he sent her a list of twenty perks associated with the farmers' market. She was smiling and near tears both. I can't afford you, Des. I just can't.
She wanted to type that, but she was struggling between cowardice and desire. He made her feel good, he made her laugh. As a Dom, he made her tremble and ache in all the right ways. So what if he could do the same thing for a million other women? Didn't make it less true for her, did it?
Don't make me use the 'I saved your life' card.
She snorted. Do you have no shame?
Let me check all my pockets. Nope, none here.
That did make her laugh. She leaned against the wall, beat her head against it and groaned. Pressed the phone to her forehead until it buzzed with one more text.
Please, Julie.
"You just never learn, do you?" she demanded of herself in the darkened hallway. Yet even as she loathed her weakness, she was typing.
Okay. Nine o'clock. But pick me up here. She'd have Logan drop her off on the way to the hardware store, which opened early. She wanted to be back in her own space before she saw Des again. No matter how unsteady he made her feel, she wasn't going to forget how to stand on her own two feet.
Chapter Five
"This is me, take it or leave it. My own girl, better believe it..."
