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"You can want that," she said softly. Her fears about being in a relationship, about having her heart crushed, none of that meant anything right now. This, someone offering her his heart, a heart she wanted, was something she would never be able to refuse, no matter what lies she told herself. She couldn't refuse the one thing she wanted more than anything.
He removed the shirt blindfold so he could look at her. When she met his gaze, she drew in a breath like a shard of glass piercing her to the core. Pain was a living thing in his eyes.
Sometimes the universe drew back a curtain and let two souls see one another directly. Such instances were so rare, and Julie had never experienced one until this. In that brief, blinding, heartbreaking and love making moment, she saw into Des. She thought he'd given her that the other night, and he had, but then it had been a glimpse. This was an in-depth look no one else had ever been given. She knew that because she had the answer his soul needed, waiting in a cold darkness she hadn't expected to see.
It startled her, but it also matched her needs and wants in a way beyond words. The bottomless glass was suddenly brimming over, able to satisfy the thirst of the whole world and one particular man.
"Des." She would have reached out and cupped his face in both hands if she could
. She was helpless and immobile, and somehow that had freed something inside him, something she could answer with her heart.
She smiled at him, through tears and an aching throat. "You can keep me. I promise. It's okay. I want that more than anything. I'm not afraid anymore."
Like two children on a playground, it was that simple and straightforward. The cold darkness drew back, though the soul view remained. It was all-encompassing, overwhelming and everything she'd ever wanted to have and hold.
He was struggling with that stunning moment of vulnerability, she could tell. He hadn't meant to open himself like that, let her see so much.
"Master." She spoke in a voice thick with emotions, drawing his eyes to her face. "I want to keep you, too."
He untied her. Held her and she held him, a mutual aftercare, but it worked for both of them, which was all that mattered. He helped her back in her dress, and the pleasantly domestic task touched her. She was cold, but he'd anticipated that. He had a quilted flannel shirt in his duffle. It smelled like him.
When he considered it next to her fancy dress, he shook his head, as if discarding the idea of using it instead of a blanket over the satin creation, but she took it. It was oversized for him, so she was able to wrap it around herself. She did a little left and right plie, like she was displaying herself on a runway.
"Bag lady chic, complete with bare feet." She gestured with her shoes, clasped together in her right hand. Putting an arm over her shoulders, Des kissed her forehead with affection, and they went to find Logan and Madison. They were on a patio behind the building, illuminated by strung lights over a large pergola. The area was clustered with dogwoods and greenery.
Madison looked blissfully mellow, a comfortable post sub-state. Logan looked satisfied and focused on her in that way that made a man appealing to any woman. Add Logan's looks and demeanor and well...
Julie could appreciate those qualities, but her attention was absorbed by her own escort, and the reactions he'd summoned from her. Plenty of the women here saw what she did in him, because Julie caught lots of lingering looks. Let them look. He was here with her.
An outdoor bar had snacks, soft drinks, water and other non-alcoholic choices, and Logan treated them with their preference. Soda for Julie and Madison, a cider for Logan and a bottled water for Des.
As they all chatted about casual topics and the things they'd seen, Julie noticed Des was quiet, but not broody. He seemed relaxed, thoughtful, even as he remained attentive. His fingers slid through Julie's hair, caressing her bare shoulder beneath his flannel shirt. At one point, he pushed the fabric back to kiss her collarbone. When his hand dropped to her thigh beneath the table, she parted her legs, letting his grip slide up high. His gaze met hers, and she wet her lips at his look. He kept his hand where it was, fingers lightly stroking her inner thigh as her body hummed at the attention and craved more.
"So as I was saying, I think our next performance after Lila's should be Caligula. We'll ask Thomas if we can borrow his cows to do a bestiality scene. A bovine-human orgy."
"Oh, that sounds--" Julie shook herself out of her sexual haze and snapped her attention to Madison. "What?"
Madison laughed. Reaching across the small round table, she grabbed Julie's hand. "I love seeing you two get lost in one another. But I had to tease."
"Thomas's cows?" Des asked. He didn't appear unsettled by Madison's observation. Julie decided to take that as a good sign, rather than dissecting it and finding cues on how this would end up being a BDSM Disneyland fueled fantasy tomorrow.
Stop it, you crazy, dysfunctional bitch.
"Thomas's family has a farm," Julie said brightly. Maybe too brightly. She toned it down at Des's curious look. "Well, it was a farm at one time, but now they run a hardware slash general store in the middle of Nowhere, North Carolina, totally rural. But he has a cow named Kate he raised. Since they got married, he and Marcus have adopted two more and a couple of goats from a farm sanctuary organization. Even though Thomas and Marcus are both carnivores, Thomas says it's his way of apologizing for any farm-factory-produced hamburgers he's eaten."
"So have you met Marcus and Thomas?" Des asked their friends.
"I met them a couple times in Boston when they came to see Julie," Madison volunteered. "Logan hasn't yet, though he should when they come visit in a couple weeks. I'm surprised it took Marcus this long to show up after Julie told him about you."
Julie kicked her under the table, but Des felt it, since he had firm grip on her other leg. "For my screen test?" he asked dryly.
"Take it as a good thing," Madison assured him, though her quick glance at Julie said she realized she'd put it the wrong way and too obviously. Blame it on a subspace brain haze, her apologetic look said. Julie could hardly cast stones, but Des's expression didn't reveal what his thoughts were. She still felt very connected to him, but there was a lot happening in his mind she couldn't decipher. She didn't want these feelings they were experiencing disrupted.
"They'll love you," she said.
"It won't matter if they don't," he said, his hand sliding higher up her thigh and hooking in the thong to caress her sex as he leaned in and touched his lips to her, a deceptively mild gesture compared to what was going on beneath the table. He caught her suddenly shaky breath. "Won't change a damn thing, will it, love?"
"Um...you understand they're just friends. Practically family."
