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"Hmm. I've rarely had a sub who could overpower me. And that boy is dealing with some bad shit. He needs serious counseling."
"I'll ask him if his lucrative healthcare plan covers that."
Dale's gaze cooled and Regina shook her head. "You're not telling me something I don't know, Dale. But he's not open to that yet. Believe me, I don't have a messianic complex. I know he's got bigger problems than I can solve, but he has to figure that out himself before he'll accept help. I have two choices as a Domme...and as his friend. I can walk with him, and do what I can to help him get there. Or I can decide he's not worth the risk or trouble and walk away."
"Does he realize you're in love with him?"
At her expression, he blinked. "Let me revise that. Do you realize you're in love with him?"
She linked her fingers on the tabletop. Yes. I just didn't expect anyone else to notice it so quickly. "I know I want to keep him for the long term. I haven't been analyzing and dissecting the feelings that go along with it. Feelings take care of themselves."
"True." Dale's lips tugged in a faint smile. "No sense spending energy on what's going to go wherever the hell it's going to go anyway."
"Exactly." She took a breath. "This was a huge step today. But I don't know why what looks like a victory makes me uneasy."
"It's because you have good instincts. Breakthroughs can result in a lot of fallout as a person confronts what they've kept locked up, the stuff that shakes loose as things start breaking apart." He sighed. "You're a good friend, Regina. Just be damned careful with this one, okay?"
"I'm not afraid of the big bad sub blowing my house down. I'm a fortress, Dale. If he figures things out, I'll lower the gate and give him sanctuary. If he doesn't...I want to at least get him closer to help than maybe he's ever been before."
"You're a saint. You and Mother Theresa."
She snorted. "I'm not denying he's affected me. I'm more possessive with him than I've ever been with a sub. And yes, that gorgeous ass alone is worth the risk, but that's not it." She paused, suddenly not sure where she was going with it. It didn't matter, since Dale seemed to understand.
"Nope. You can list a million things about him you like, and none of that will be it. Because it's all of it, and then something more that can't be defined." He cocked his head. "You're in love, Lady Regina. It's so sweet."
"You're such an ass. I'm going to tell Athena some ways to cut you down to size. Because I know she's your blind spot."
"Blind spot and the best thing in my life," he agreed. "That's the way it works." He jabbed a finger at her. "Which is why I'm warning you to be careful. Don't be blindsided by him. Everything I've seen says he's got a lot of shit to work out before he's going to be able to handle a healthy relationship. Soon as you can get him to agree to it, get him into counseling. Someone who deals with PTSD, extreme trauma. Don't make the mistake so many military spouses make, being put off by the 'oh, I can handle it myself' routine. PTSD can be unpredictable in how it manifests. You've got zero personal distance from this guy. You read me?"
"Roger that," she said, borrowing some of his SEAL terminology. But she was taking him seriously. Marius's volatile reaction in the airport, triggered by nothing more than a casual comment, flashed through her mind.
Dale shook his head. "Come on, smart ass. Let's have sandwiches and tea while your boy clears his head."
Marius circled around it twice, three times. He'd told himself to stop. But here he was.
As he'd predicted, the dogs had stayed away from him, though it pleased him when Tempest fell into a walk near him. She kept pace as he wandered through the junkyard, absent-mindedly digesting the wide variety of cars. He found a junker of his vehicle, same make, model and year, and wondered if he could buy some parts off Dale to put away for a rainy day. But that wasn't the first thing in his head.
Eventually he was back at the cat building. He could hear the occupants, that tiny shrieking sound. It pounded behind his eyes, filled his ears.
When he dropped his hand, he was startled to find Tempest under his palm. His fingers coiled against her sleek fur. She stood silently as he stared at the screen door. Cats were behind it. And kittens. He was pretty sure those little shrieks were in the here and now, not back...then. For one thing they sounded different. Not...afraid, or hurting.
He backed up a step and almost trampled Tempest's paw. She adjusted, pressing against his leg. The sun-soaked dark coat penetrated the fabric of his jeans. He could feel her breathing, big rib cage expanding and releasing.
As he took several deep breaths, matching her, he felt like a bull, preparing to charge into a china shop. Only he'd be creeping into it, one weighted footstep at a time, not sure why he was doing it. He just had to.
He said "Free" to Tempest, but his voice was hoarse, indecisive. She gazed at him, then padded ten feet away and laid down, watching him with placid acceptance. Or maybe Dale had some freakish telepathic connection with her and she was here to rip out his throat if he did anything wrong.
Putting his hand on the screen door latch, he peered through the mesh. There were six or seven floor-to-ceiling partitions in the building, chicken wire and wood creating separate play and sleeping areas for the cats, and an open space in the middle. Taking a deeper breath, he stepped inside. He was sweating again, but he was determined to get through this, as Regina had said. Just get through.
Another screen wall and door separated this area from the middle corridor and the cat enclosures. It looked like he was standing where food preparation and supplies were kept. He guessed it also served the purpose of keeping the cats even more secure, so no one loose would have direct access to the door to the outside.
As he put his hand on that second screen door, however, he found that one of the enclosures had been opened to let the occupants play in the middle area, which was apparently communal play space. A dozen kittens, barely old enough to be weaned, turned from their various activities to run toward him, probably thinking he was Dale with food.
He thought of picking up one of the kittens and holding the small body in his hands.
Lifeless. Broken like the most fragile toy, the fur holding the pieces together. He'd closed his fingers over it, his boy's hand almost not large enough to cup the creature. But he was a man now. His hand could choke the life out of a grown man, let alone squeeze the life out of a kitten. He'd thought about choking the life out of Regina, his Mistress, only a handful of days ago. Had a terrifying moment when he'd wanted to do it.
He began to tremble. Leave, leave, leave.
