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"I leave tonight. But I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Of course. Have a seat." We sat and faced each other. "Is everything okay?"
"I know about your conversation with James."
He stiffened, but nodded, not denying it. "Okay. Well, I told him some things I'm sure he shared. Are you here because you're upset with me?"
I sighed. "I'm here because I need to tell you the truth. I thought about us, Brian. I imagined what we would be like if I chose you over James. But I can also tell you it will never happen. I admire you and like you as a friend. I respect you as a boss and the director of the clinic. If James and I broke up, I still wouldn't date you. We're not meant to be, but I don't feel comfortable taking this job if you don't truly understand. We'll be working long hours together, and if you can't get past it, I need to decline the position."
Relief cut through me. There. It was out, and though I hated the idea of losing the job I'd worked so hard for, I couldn't deal with the tension between us or the constant concern from James if we did stay together.
Brian looked startled and leaned over the desk. "I'm sorry, Quinn. Sorry I put you in this position or gave you the wrong idea. I do like you, and I see things in you and James that remind me of my ex-wife. But I stepped over the line, especially telling your boyfriend he's not good enough for you. What do I know? There is no one that could fill the position like you. And I promise, there will be no tension or questionable moves on my part. Do you believe me?"
I looked into his brown eyes and saw the truth. He may have been attracted to me, but he'd never let that take priority over the clinic. I saw the honesty in his face and the apology in his gaze.
I smiled. "I believe you. Thanks, Brian."
"You're welcome. I'm glad you came to me. Have a good time on vacation. Come back rested and ready to work."
I laughed and rose from my chair. "I will."
I went home and packed, my soul lighter and feeling as if one door had closed, leaving another open. I still didn't know what I was going to do about James, but all I wanted was to hug my girlfriends, have a Sex on the Beach, and talk it out.
Chapter Nineteen
JAMES
I'd lost her.
How long had I stayed in my apartment, waiting for some miracle? Waiting for her to come back to me, declare her love, and tell me she wanted to start over?
I realized again I'd made her my world, and then destroyed her. I had no friends, no family, and no career. Sinking into the depths of depression, I heard Brian's words in my head, over and over.
You're going to break her heart.
And I had. But as the clock ticked, I came to another surprising truth, and an odd strength began to unfurl deep in my gut.
Quinn loved me, but I needed to get my shit together.
Quinn thought I was deserving and talented, so I needed to believe in myself, too.
I thought over my choices. About how much I loved art, and how Ava had screwed me up, and what I could do about it. About my wrong choices, and how I needed to make a stand to show Quinn I was the man she needed me to be. Yeah, it was gonna be messy, but at least I'd be telling the truth and trying to move forward.
It really wasn't about Brian at all. Or even Ava. It was about my own insecurities, and confusion, and crap. It was about believing and trusting in Quinn and her love for me.
Time to deal with it.
I made the call. Got a meeting with the Dean for 2:00 p.m. I gathered up all my work since the year had started then headed into The Brush Institute.
First, I'd take care of business.
Then I'd go after her.
Chapter Twenty
QUINN
"I can't believe five days have gone by already," Mac sighed, her familiar wide-brimmed hat hiding her from the sun.
"It's been a hell of a week," Cassie sighed, sipping her own fruit concoction. We had all carved out a few hours to sip cocktails in the sun and enjoy the last of our freedom before our final night.
How different this trip was from last year. Yes, we still sipped our Sex on the Beach drinks, and lay in the sun, and teased and laughed with each other. Yes, Mac was still a huge country star hidden behind a stylish hat, and Cassie was still serious and involved in another dangerous case since she'd testified a week ago at trial.
But James wasn't here. It had nothing to do with the yacht, or his mansion, or the wild parties. I missed him so bad, my body wept with the pain. His smile, his touch, his laugh. I missed the way he used to put his hand at the small of my back when we walked together, in protection and possession. I missed the way he knew I hated beer, and liked things tidy, and needed to help others in order to feel whole. I loved the way he held me in his arms, with all the rough passion I needed to be completely alive. I loved who I was when I was with him.
Mac peered at me from under the shadowed brim. "You miss him."
I laughed. They knew me best. When I'd first arrived and told them everything, they'd cursed James and vowed to kill him. It was only later, when I discussed how the last six months had developed between us, telling them about Brian and what Ava had done, that they began to understand, and grudgingly told me if I forgave James, they would, too.
"Yeah."
Cassie gave me a searching look. "You're ready to forgive him, aren't you?"
Slowly, I nodded. I had needed the time away to see what life was like without James. And I realized something else. I could live without him. I was strong, capable, and would find love again.
But I didn't want to.
I wanted to forgive, rebuild, and go on stronger than before. Wasn't that what real love was about? Messiness and mistakes and some pain in order to appreciate the good stuff? Deciding what I could and couldn't live with? I'd learned so much about myself and James this past year. I wasn't ready to let it go.
"Good," Mac announced. "I hate seeing you unhappy. And it seems like James is your true fit. Your other half."
I smiled and reached out, linking my hands with theirs. "I love you guys. I haven't seen you as much this past year," I said. "Can we make a vow to do this every Spring Break? Whether we bring boys or not?"
My girls nodded and raised their glasses. "Absolutely. To us. Best friends."
We all clinked glasses and smiled. "But the party isn't over yet," Mac reminded us. "Captain Crowe's tonight for a surprise."
"No hint?" I asked teasingly.
"Nope. We'll all meet there."
"Are you going to call James and tell him?" Cassie asked.
I shook my head. "We need to talk in person. When I get back to Chicago, hopefully, he'll be ready to move forward. Or not."
"He will," Mac said forcefully. "He's nuts about you. Even if he is broke now."
Cassie and I laughed. "But more honorable," Cassie added. "And much more of a man deserving of Quinn. Better than the rich dude with the asshole friends."
We all drank and then went our different ways for the rest of the afternoon.
I dressed a bit more carefully for the last night. Black skirt, strappy sandals--flats, not heels, since I still sucked walking in them--and a silvery tank that shimmered when I walked. Something fun and flirty to make myself feel good. I headed down Duval Street, enjoying the mad revelry of the crowds, drinking and shouting, laughing and dancing in honor of the sunset. I strolled slowly, the sun burning my shoulders, remembering how James used to keep slathering suntan lotion on me because of my fair skin, and suddenly, tears stung my eyes. All I wanted was to call him and tell him I loved him.
I would.
Screw it. I'd tell Mac and Cassie I needed to talk to him, right then and there, and find someplace private and call him and--
A familiar figure was moving toward me. The sun blocked my view and I blinked furiously, wondering why those burnished waves and that tall, lean body looked like James. He walked forward with a determined purpose, gaze narrowed on me, and suddenly the crowds parted and he was in front of me. Those beloved stingin
g-blue eyes, filled with need and a bit of wariness, stared into mine. My breath caught.
"James?"
I couldn't say anything else. He leaned forward, cupped my cheeks, and bent my head. Kissed me with a purity and tenderness that broke through my soul. Then slowly, he lifted his head.
"I couldn't stay away, Quinn. I love you, and I'll follow you to the ends of the earth. Your heart is part of mine--I'm only half a man without you. Forgive me. Give me another chance."
I broke open and gave him everything I had. "Yes," I breathed against his lips. "I don't want a life without you. I want another chance together, stronger than before. I love you."
He growled and lifted me in his arms, kissing me passionately. He swung me around in the middle of Duval Street, and I knew everything would be okay.
"I was going to call you," I said when he put me down. "I couldn't stand being without you another second."
"And I wanted to give you enough time to yourself, but I knew I'd follow you anywhere. Listen, Quinn, I went to the Brush Institute. I spoke with administration and told them everything about Ava."
I stiffened. It still hurt a bit, but most of the sharpness had faded. "What happened?"
"We had a meeting, and two other students came forward. Both male. They admitted to being pursued by Ava, and there's an investigation being done."
