“Sunshine?” My breath stalls in my chest at the pain in his voice. “Are you okay?” I let out a stuttered breath as his heat seeps into my back. His voice falls to a whisper that not even the bats flying above our heads can hear. “Talk to me.” My eyes flutter closed as he moves the hair from my neck to rest over myshoulder without touching my skin. His breath tickles my neck like a feather-light kiss. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”
I shake my head as I open my eyes to the vacant yard before me. “No. You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
The skin of my neck begs for his touch he has yet to give. “Then what is it?”
“I don’t know.”
I feel his exhale against my neck as I dig my fingers deeper into the wood of the railing. “Can I tell you something that terrifies me?”
The vulnerability in his voice finally gives me the courage to turn and face him. His chocolate eyes glow in the moonlight. “Always.”
His eyes search mine as he pushes a stray hair from my face. I yearn for the warmth that ghosts over my skin from the proximity of his fingers. “When my body reacts to you like it did in there, all I feel is shame.”
My brows crease with confusion. “What? Why?”
His eyes turn pleading as he takes a deep breath. “I spent so long denying myself your touch that now I don’t know how to take it. I spent so long convincing myself to be your friend that now I don’t know how to be anything but. Even though I want to be more, Sunshine. So much more. I just don’t know how.”
A small smile breaks through my confusion as I lace my fingers with his. “Can I tell you a secret?” He nods as a reluctant smile blooms on his face. “I ran out of there because I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before. I’ve neverwantedsomeone the way I want you. I have no idea how to handle all these new feelings, and what I’m supposed to do about them. But I know I don’t feel any shame about the way I feel about you, and I don’t want you to feel any shame about the way you feel about me, either.”
He lets out a deep breath as his shoulders relax. “That’s easier said than done.”
A small laugh escapes into the night air as I grip his fingers tighter. “I know, but we can figure it out together.” I shrug as a full smile pulls at my lips. “Plus, we don’t have to do it like everyone else.”
His fingers weave through the hair at the nape of my neck as he finally touches my skin of his own volition. “I think I’m terrified of being like him.”
“Your dad?”
He nods his head as a crease forms between his brows. “I saw the way he treated my mom, Lila. I saw the way he let his desires dominate their relationship and control my mom. I saw how it ultimately tore them apart. How could you do that to someone you love?”
My hands firmly clench his sweatshirt, channeling the strength I aim to convey through my voice. “You don’t. That’s not love, Kam. Your needs and wants are no less valid than mine. It doesn’t matter if they’re physical or emotional. The difference between you and your dad is that you value my needs and wants, too.”
His smile transforms his face as he tightens his grip on my hair. He’s so close that his words flow against my lips. “How did you get so wise?”
My lips brush against his as I say, “Being the guardian of two seven-year-olds as a twenty-one-year-old will do that to you.”
Relief that feels like the first drink of ice water on a warm summer day flows through me as his lips connect with mine. And suddenly, all is right in the world.
CHAPTER 41
DECISIONS
KAM
Sweat drips down my cheek as my eyes follow the streak of black along the icy backdrop. The distant roar of the crowd fades into the recesses of my mind as my legs scream for a break I don’t have time to give.
I feel the rapid rhythm of my heart beating in my fingertips as Dax transfers the puck to me.
The familiar thunk of the puck hitting my stick has tension coiling in my legs as I propel myself toward our goal with one thought in mind.
For a single moment, my eyes connect with the goalie. His piercing eyes stay locked on the puck by my feet. With a nearly indistinguishable tilt of his hips, he fills my favorite corner of the net. He doesn’t realize the power that’s coursing through my veins brings a determination that cannot be broken.
This one’s for you, Sunshine.
I flick my eyes to the right as I swivel my hips like I’m sending the puck in that direction, right where he expects me to. A slight smirk lifts his lips as he celebrates a premature victory. I twist to the left at the last moment with a smirk of my own. My breath stalls in my chest as I send the puck soaring through the air toward our goal.
Silence blankets the rink as everyone collectively holds their breath as they await the puck's fate.
The goalie’s brows furrow as he switches positions too late. The puck soars into the top left corner of the net as vibrations from the stands course through my legs.
