He nods his head slowly. “Yes. I’m a virgin.” His words flow from him like water from a dam break. “It’s okay if you’re not. There’s no expectations for you to be a virgin or tonotbe a virgin. There’s also no expectations at all, really. I just thought you should know before things went any further. I just, um, wanted to talk about it to see where your head’s at, and?—”
My hand closing over his mouth is like putting a stopper in a wine bottle. Shock registers in his eyes as a smile blooms on my face. “Hey, stop fretting. I’ve never done this, either.”
My smile only grows as his mouth moves against my hand. “You haven't?”
I shake my head as I free his mouth. “No. I haven’t. I’m glad you brought it up. I’ve been kinda freaking out about it.”
His groan is filled with relief as he basically falls into my vacated seat. “Me too. I didn’t want to make anything weird, but I also didn’t want to just ignore it, either.”
“You made the right call, Trouble.” His leg doesn’t move an inch as I nudge him with my foot. “I have to admit, I’m kind of surprised. I definitely didn’t expect the captain of the hockey team to be a virgin. Aren’t hockey players known for having a parade of girls at their beck and call?”
A smile blooms on his face as he moves his chair closer so he’s nestled between my legs. “Well, you might have noticed that me, Dax, Mace, and Wyatt are all a little different from the other guys on our team. I guess that’s why we all became friends.” He shrugs, and I can practically see the memories flashing behind his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, not everyone is a virgin. That’s not what I’m talking about. We’re just each different in our own way.”
“I like different, Trouble.” Questions fly through my mind as I tilt my head. “I assume there’s a reason you’ve never had sex with anyone.”
A coldness falls over his eyes that I wish I could burn away. “I saw how much sex controlled my dad's life. He couldn’t have a good time and celebrate a win without it. It didn’t matter if my mom was there or not. I guess I just never wanted to open myself up to the temptation.” A humorless laugh leaves his lips. “My dad obviously had an addictive personality. Whether it was alcohol, gambling, sex, whatever it may be, he couldn’t control it. Hell, even hockey was an addiction for him. That scares the shit out of me.” The ice melts from his eyes as the warmth returns.“But I’m realizing, after all this time, that I’m really not like him.”
“You’re really not, Kam.”
The warmth of his breathtaking smile seeps into my chest as a lightness takes over his face. “I know. Cause when I think about celebrating a game, the only person I see is you. The thought of anyone else makes me want to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. That alone shows how different I am from him.” He inclines his head toward me as his eyes roam over my body with a gentle caress. “What about you? Why haven't you been with anyone?”
My hands gliding along the smooth fabric of my leggings soothes a part of me that always gets defensive when thinking about sex. “I never found someone worthy of giving that piece of myself.” I shake my head as a humorless laugh escapes my lips. “It's funny, I would always get made fun of for being a virgin, but girls who weren’t were called a whore or a slut. It’s like the world can’t make up its mind.”
The rhythmic vibration of my phone against the dining table sends a bolt of dread down my spine. Victoria’s name stares at me from my phone screen as my heart tries to beat out of my chest.
My eyes connect with Kam’s to find my worry reflected back at me as I answer her call. “Hello?”
“Lila. Come to my house right away.”
CHAPTER 43
THE BRIDGE BETWEEN US
KAM
My fingers dig into the leather of my steering wheel as I fight to watch the road instead of the woman next to me. Waves of anxiety roll off of Lila as I count the minutes that seem to last an eternity.
Her leg bounces an unrelenting rhythm as she chews on the nail of her index finger. We’ve barely spoken a word since she ended the call with her grandmother. The silence stretches between us like a chasm I don’t have a way to cross, as the dark road stretches endlessly before us.
The city streets transform into neighborhoods with ever-expansive houses the further we move through the darkness. Spotlights illuminate the ornate fountains and pristine landscaping of the mansions as I turn onto the street Lila points out.
Cars that are worth more than our townhouse fill the driveways of the sleepy street. My heartbeat pounds through my temples as I turn into the driveway of the last house on the left. Iron gates sit open at the end of the driveway, despite the clock reading nearly midnight.
The hinge bounces violently as Lila throws her door open before I’ve put the car in park. She slams the door behind herwithout a care for her grandparents' sleeping neighbors. Her blonde waves stream behind her as she flies to the front porch.
My sneakers give me the traction I need to catch up to her just in time for the front door to fly open. Tears stream down Posey’s face as she lunges for her sister.
Lila’s eyes frantically move over her sister, despite the calmness present in her voice. “What’s wrong, Ladybug? What happened?” My spine straightens as sobs pour from Posey like a raging river.
Tiny fingers grasp the hem of my shorts in a death grip. As I squat down to his level, Jasper’s red-rimmed eyes turn to me with heartbreaking relief. “Thanks for coming, Kam.”
Without hesitation, I lift him into my arms and secure him tightly against my chest. “We’ll always come when you call.” My eyes fall to my girls as he tightens his hold around my neck. “What’s going on, Tank?”
At the sound of my voice, Posey’s eyes lift to mine before he has time to answer. She’s running toward me with open arms within seconds. I meet her halfway and lift her sweaty little body with one arm. She buries her face in my neck as her tears soak into my skin.
Her body wracks with every shaky breath she takes. As soon as she’s secure in my arms, I carry her and her brother to my Tahoe without looking back. I don’t give a shit what happened. They’re not going back in that house. At least not tonight.
I waste no time securing them in the booster seats that have been in my car for weeks at this point. “It’s alright, guys. We’ll get you home soon.”
