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HazelI wake up with an excruciating headache. When I lift my head from my pillow, my room looks like a madman went through it. Or just a girl scorned by her father, best friend, lover… Shit. My thumbs dig into my throbbing temples. Memories of last night evade my mind, and the pain in my gut almost has me expelling the booze still sloshing in my stomach. After I kicked them out, I came up here and lost it. I tore up my room, cursing my dad and Violet. The worst part was when it started to click why Gabriel was so insistent I get out of the house. I came to one conclusion: he knew about them and didn’t tell me.
The fire inside me ignites all over again. How did it happen? And right under my nose. All the times Dad came to visit. Was it for her or me? The calls. The accusations that made me feel like shit because I wrongfully accused Dad of paying more attention to her. The whole time, he was.
I swipe an angry tear away and get up. I’m wobbly on my feet and in need of a hot shower. I check my phone to see I’ve missed a bunch of calls from Dad and Violet. Not a single one from Gabriel.
He denied us because of how wrong it would be. How my dad would take it. All along, my father is doing the one thing Gabriel was too cowardly to admit. I’m so hurt. So ashamed. So…alone.
I climb into the shower, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes are puffy, not to mention my pale complexion. My tears mix with the hot spray as I crumble to the floor, falling apart all over again. By the time the water runs cold, I still don’t feel at ease. My phone continues to ring, but I ignore each call. Violet attempts to call, but I give her the end button. Continuous texts from my dad, begging me to talk to him. I delete them just as fast as they come in.
When my phone pings and I see Gabriel’s name, I debate swiping to delete without even reading it. But I give in and open it.
Gabriel: Where’s your head at, little bird?
I type out a million replies: I’m lost. I hate you. How could you? I need you.
I delete them all.
I climb back in bed and wrap myself in my blanket, hoping it will swallow me whole.I wake up hours later. The beeping of my phone pulls me out of my slumber. I reach for it to check the time. Shit, I’ve been sleeping all day. Well, depression and your world blowing up in your face can be tiring. I sit up and check my phone—nothing else from Gabriel or my dad, and just a missed call and voicemail from Violet.
I don’t know why I’m such a glutton for punishment, but I press the button and listen to her voicemail. Shouting through the line jolts me fully awake. Her voice becomes low, garbled, then high again. Muffled static takes over, and I almost hang up until I hear the terror in Violet’s voice break through. It’s then I realize she’s not talking to me, but to someone else—our psychology professor.
“I’ve invested a lot of time in you, Violet. It’s about time you let me take care of you.”
“What are you talking about? We don’t even know each other.”
“I’ve watched you since the first day of class. It wasn’t by accident that I ran into you at that party. I cared enough to track you down. Because I knew how special you were. I put in the time. I gave you the proper space and time it takes when courting a girl…”
“This is insane. I never showed interest in you. Slow down. You’re gonna kill us.”
What the hell? Did she mean to record this? Not hang up the call? What the hell is she doing with him? There’s panic in her voice. And every few seconds, she yells for him to slow down.
“Never showed interest? All the times you stayed after class to talk to me! Gave me your number! Danced with me!”
“You got my attention, Hazel gave you my number, and it was just a dance. Jesus, this is insane! Pull the fuck over!”
“NO!”
“Jim, slow down!”
Holy shit, Violet was right; this guy is a total nutbag. My nerves are shot, worried for her. Shit, what time was this? I pull the phone away to see she left this almost an hour ago. Oh my god, Violet…
“You are one ungrateful bitch, you know that! You looked at me with those eyes—those fuck me eyes. Don’t fucking lie to me and tell me you didn’t lead me on.”
“You’re crazy. You’re horribly mistaken if you think I’m into fucking psychopaths. Pull the fuck over before you kill us! Jim, please, slow down. There’s construction and—JIM, WATCH OUT!”
