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Kai chuckled and I always hated when he did that. It was as if nothing ever concerned him even when I was begging for a life. Even after I tell him Deck, an ex-JTF2, the most elite task force in the world, was coming after him—he laughs? “I’m hurt, Chaos. Where is your concern for me?”
I threw on my jogging pants, grabbed my wallet and ran for the door. “Don’t be a dick. Does he know where you are? You must keep tabs on him, a GPS maybe?”
“You think very highly of me. But no, I don’t have tabs on him. I have tabs on you and whenever Deck is in town, he is with you. So, it’s pretty easy to know where he is.” Not really true. Well, sort of true. I stayed here usually whenever he had dragged me out of some bar or party, and we had the same friends, so he was often with me if he was around.
When he was in town, he always came to my Sunday brunch, but none of his men ever did. I knew Kai had a tracking device in my phone, car and I suspected other places. Ended up being really useful the day the scumbag sex-trader Alfonzo had kidnapped me, Emily, and the girl London. If Kai hadn’t been able to convince Alfonzo to meet the guy responsible for transporting girls, Kai still would’ve known where we were.
I stopped bitching about it after that day. So, I’d lived with two dangerous men who kept tabs on me … you’d think I’d feel safe. Yeah, well, nothing about Kai was safe.
I slammed the door of the loft and pressed the elevator.
“Chaos, calm down.” I was breathing hard in the phone. “Think about what you’re doing.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened. “Chaos, sit the fuck down. Now. Do not get in that elevator.”
I watched the doors close again and then I slowly slid down the wall of the hallway until my butt hit the floor. I bent my legs and dropped my head between them while I took long, deep breaths trying to get control of the panic.
I was never so freaked out as I was at this moment. But when it came to Deck, the thought of losing him, it was like a light switch went on and all my emotions went haywire. Kai’s voice cut into me. “Remember everything I taught you, Chaos. You need to find that now.” He kept his voice low and soothing, rhythmic. “Nothing gets done if you panic. You know this.”
I didn’t know what I was doing. I had no idea where Deck went, and I was chasing him. It didn’t make sense. I wasn’t making sense. What the hell was I doing? “Don’t hurt him,” I said quietly. “Don’t hurt him.”
“Go back inside and wait for him.”
My breath caught in my throat. “You said you’d kill him if he ever knew.”
“Yes. And that was the truth, but things have changed slightly. I’ll come by tomorrow and we can have a chat.”
My grip on the phone tightened. “What? Are you crazy?” Yeah, Kai was a little crazy.
Kai sighed. “I’d rather be the hunter than the trapped prey, my dear.”
“He’s going to kill you. Jesus, you’re going to kill him.”
He laughed. “Chaos, you have quite the imagination. Firstly, Deck won’t kill me and secondly, I won’t kill him—yet. Besides, I like you, Chaos. I’m thinking if I killed him, you’d probably try and kill me. And I really don’t want to have to kill you.”
Then the phone went dead.
I sat outside the elevator for a long time. Every time I heard it ding on other floors, I’d look up, my heart racing. Hoping he was back, praying he didn’t do anything reckless. But Deck was never reckless—until I saw him tonight. His face, it was like I’d stabbed him in the stomach with a dull blade and then slowly turned it. His shock. His disbelief.
In one sentence, I blew up everything he thought about me. I told him another man cut me and I’d asked him to do it. God, the look on his face. Surprise and rage burned like an erupted volcano in his eyes. I deserved his hate. His disgust. Fuck, I was disgusted with myself.
It was just after midnight when the elevator doors opened and Deck stepped out. I was half-asleep, my neck sore from tilting back against the wall. I jerked upright and then scrambled to my feet.
“Deck.” He looked perfectly contained: clothes neat and tidy, face tight but that was usual. He had a Band-Aid on his arm but the rest of him … no blood. He had all his limbs and he was standing.
I felt the familiar butterflies fluttering in my stomach at the sight of him. No matter what shit had gone down between us, whenever I set my eyes on him … it was the same feeling.
