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The fight quickly turned into a wrestling match with Eric trying to get a few more shots at his brother while Nathan did his best to shove Eric off and get away.
"What the hell is your problem?" Nathan demanded as he shot an elbow to Eric's gut to get him off.
"You want Joe," Eric said, moving to throttle the bastard.
Nathan's horrified look gave him pause. "I don't want Joe!" he snapped, sounding disgusted and looking close to vomiting at the very idea.
"What the hell is wrong with Joe?" he demanded, pissed at that look of revulsion on Nathan's face.
"She's my sister, ass**le! Now get the hell off of me!" Nathan said, shoving him away so that he could get to his feet.
Eric got to his own feet, noticing the blood dripping from his nose for the first time. Well, it looked as though Nathan got in a few shots. Thankfully the man hadn't broken his nose, but it still stung like a bitch.
"What the hell is your problem?" Nathan demanded as he wiped blood off his lip with the back of his hand.
"What's yours?" Eric demanded right back.
"You are!" Nathan snapped, looking ready to leap at him.
"What did I do?"
"Joe!" Nathan shot back, shoving a frustrated hand through his hair as he started pacing Eric's small living room.
"What about her?" Eric asked, wondering if Nathan knew what happened between the two of them.
"You're a f**king idiot," Nathan practically snarled.
"You want to explain that?" Eric bit out tightly as he took an aggressive step towards his brother. Between the bullshit at work, what happened with Joe and having to push her away for her own good he was in no mood for any more bullshit.
"You have a woman who is beyond perfect for you, loves you, and who would walk on glass for you and you don't even see it," Nathan spat out.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Eric lied, wishing like hell they weren't having this conversation.
"Bullshit!" Nathan snapped, getting into his face. "You love her. I know you do and she loves you. I've seen the way you look at her. I know that the two of you have a connection that anyone would kill for," he said before muttering, "I would kill to have a woman who made me feel the way Joe makes you feel."
"How exactly do you think you think she makes me feel?" Eric asked, wondering how the hell they ended up here. He didn't want to have this conversation and was more than willing to go back to trading punches to avoid it.
"Whole," Nathan said, hitting the nail on the head and damn near making him stumble.
That's exactly how she made him feel. When she was around he felt complete, happy and at peace and when she wasn't around he felt lost. He hated being away from her and hated knowing that it was something that he would have to get used to it.
"I want what you're refusing to see," Nathan explained. "I want a woman that makes me feel complete, makes me happy and someone I couldn't imagine living without."
"We're just friends," Eric said lamely as he tried to ignore the ache in his chest. He missed her, wanted her and he was too f**king scared to go for it.
"Bullshit! She's everything to you and you damn well know it. While I would kill to have my own Joe you're throwing yours aside like it's nothing. What the hell are you going to do when she finds someone else? You don't think that will kill you to watch her with another man, knowing it could have been you?"
"Yes!" he roared. "It will f**king kill me to watch her with another man. Are you f**king happy?" he demanded, ignoring the look of pity on his brother's face as he scrubbed his hands down his face. "I'm not good enough for her. I wouldn't have the first clue about how to treat her."
"What the hell are you talking about? No one would ever treat her better and we both know it."
Eric let out a humorless laugh at that. "Really? What exactly are you basing this on? I sure as hell hope it's not based on how I treated all my old girlfriends because we both know that's exactly how it will be with Joe. I'll grow bored and it will be over and I'll lose her."
"You're avoiding being with her because of your past?" Nathan asked, looking at a loss for words when Eric nodded firmly. Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "You really are a f**king idiot."
Chapter 23
That bastard, Joe thought as she forced herself not to check her phone. She refused to be that woman. There was no way in hell that she was going to wait around for a text message or a phone call from a guy, even if that guy was Eric.
He'd made it more than clear that he had no intentions of calling her this weekend so she wasn't going to worry. She was going to force herself to stay awake during the mind numbingly boring slide show presentation. Then she was going to her hotel room, changing, hitting a bar and getting a drink and having some fun. Then tomorrow and the next day she would come back to this beige classroom that smelled like alcohol wipes and doing this all over again.
She really wished Eric was here. Normally they took all of their refresher courses and continuing education courses, the requirements that OEMS required every EMT to do to keep their EMT ticket active, together. He would keep her entertained while they sat through things like this, but he wasn't here and wouldn't be here tomorrow or the next day.
There was no doubt in her mind that she'd be doing a lot more things in the future without him. He didn't want to be with her and after what they did last night she had no doubt that he was going to start pulling away more and more. She idly wondered while she stared blankly at the graphs blown up on the screen if his reasons for not pursuing this were the same as hers.
He wasn't the best boyfriend and he had to know that by now. He wouldn't want to hurt her. She knew he loved her, but he didn't realize that he was hurting her by doing this. There really was no point in lying and saying that she wasn't afraid that he was going to end up hurting her, but after last night she was willing to take that chance.
Eric wasn't.
She wanted him, but she wasn't going to beg him. He needed to want to give them a chance. If he wasn't.........
Well, he might just get his wish after all. She knew herself well enough to know that it would become hard enough working with him day in and day out, but that didn't mean she wanted to watch as other women threw themselves at him, or worse when he started dating them. When it became too much she'd either switch out to a different station or work in dispatch full time where she wouldn't have to see him.
Of course she'd still see him at family gatherings and that was fine with her. She wasn't willing to give up Nathan or Alive for anything. They were her family and she loved them. For them she'd pretend she was happy when he was around. She'd do the same for him. She'd never stop loving him, but if it made his life easier then she'd move on.
