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My pussy throbbed, but I was still certain I was dreaming.
He took our kiss deeper, showing me what the rest of the night would entail.
James would be in control of me and in control of my pleasure, and I didn’t mind one bit. My shoulders relaxed as if a pin had been stuck into them. What would it be like to have someone take care of me? To have someone fulfill my wants and desires?
His tongue continued to explore my lips and mouth. My nipples pressed through my bra and sweater, seeking more, more, more.
A small moan slipped from my lips into his mouth, and a second later, he broke away, seeming unaffected while I panted as if I’d just run the entire way from Brooklyn to Pennsylvania.
“What now?” I asked, barely able to recognize myself.
“Now, we begin.”
The voice of doubt was back, and indecision swamped me. If we crossed this line, we could never turn back.
James must have sensed my wavering because he said, “If this is something you don’t want, we can stop now and act like it didn’t happen.”
“And what then? You might be able to pretend that nothing happened, but I can’t. Pandora’s box is open, and neither of us can close it.” I tucked my hair behind my ears. “I want to see this through.” Proud of my bravery, I smiled. “I want to find out if reality is as good as the fantasy.”
“Believe me. Reality will be better than any fantasy you’ve ever had.”
“There’s something I need to know before we start. Are you going to hurt me? Will there be pain? I get that’s not what all BDSM is about… I don’t want…”
His face turned serious. “I will never hurt you. I will never abuse you.” He stood and pulled me up from the sofa. “Tonight isn’t about whips and chains, tying you up, or clamping your nipples or your clit. It’s not even about sex. It’s about you listening to me and doing what I ask. It’s about seeing if you can follow instructions.”
“And if I don’t or can’t.”
He brushed a fingertip down my cheek, and I strained into his touch. “If you don’t, I’ll punish you.”
“What’s the punishment?” My legs wobbled, and my stomach fluttered. I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. “Don’t worry about that. Whatever it is, the punishment will fit the crime.”
He stepped away and went to the counter height table, where he pulled out a chair. “Get undressed and bend over the chair.” Mischief filled his eyes. “I want to see if reality is as good as the fantasy.”
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure if reality would be better than fantasy when it came to my sun-starved, carb-loving body.
He drummed his fingertips against the tabletop. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time, Pearl, but when I ask you to do something, I expect you to carry out my orders without hesitation. I don’t expect to have to ask twice.”
I nodded, rolled back my shoulders, and held my head high. For crying out loud, I was an adult. Men had seen me naked before but taking my clothes off in front of James was more daunting. But I didn’t want to find out what kind of punishments he had in store for me if I disobeyed him.
Or perhaps I did.
Hauling in a now or never breath, I yanked my Christmas sweater over my head and threw it to the floor. Beneath my sweater, I wore a long-sleeved t-shirt.
James crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me expectantly. “If you’re not naked within the next minute, you’ll regret it.” His face turned thoughtful. “Maybe that’s what you need. Maybe I need to show you what a punishment feels like.”
“No, Mr. Matthews. I mean James. I mean, sir.” I yanked off my t-shirt and undid my bra. My breasts were heavy and swollen, and my nipples stood hard. I couldn’t tell if he liked what he saw or not.
He gestured toward my jeans. “The rest.”
With my eyes lowered, I removed my jeans and my panties until I stood in front of him, totally naked and totally embarrassed from head to toe. I crossed an arm over my breasts in a lame attempt to hide my nakedness.
James reached out and lowered my arm, his knuckles brushing against my nipples as he did. That brief touch alone gave me a headrush.
“Never hide from me, pet. You’re breathtaking, and I can say without any doubt that the reality is a million times better than the fantasy. Since the morning I heard you talk to your friend, I’ve wanted to fuck you over my desk. Thoughts of you have consumed me. I should punish you for that, shouldn’t I? For taking up space in my head.”
I kind of wanted to get the punishment over with just so it wouldn’t be something he could hold over me as a threat.
