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I drove to her apartment building. After I’d bribed the doorman to let me inside, I hammered against her front door, but there was no answer. A curly-haired brunette who resembled a fairy peaked her head out of a door across the hall. “Are you trying to wake the dead?”
“I’m trying to find Pearl. Do you know where she is?”
“Her mother’s. It’s where she is every Christmas.”
“She’s not,” my voice cracked. “I was just there.”
“Who are you?” the pixie asked.
“Pearl’s boyfriend, James.”
Her eyebrows almost shot off her head, they raised so fast. “No fucking way? I’m Bella. Pearl is my BFF. We drink together and watch reality shows. I thought you looked familiar. But wearing that ugly sweater, I wasn’t sure.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Do you have any idea where she could be? I have to find her.”
“If she’s not at her mother’s, I don’t know where she is.”
“She hasn’t called or texted you?”
“I’m working nights this week at the hospital. She would know I was sleeping and wouldn’t have done either.”
“I need to find her. I’m desperate.”
“I guess I can check her Snapchat to see if she has her snap map on. I’ll grab my phone. Hold on.” She disappeared, and a few seconds later, she reappeared. Her fingers danced across the screen. “What the what? What’s she doing at the Delaware Water Gap? Why would she be there on Christmas Day?”
Relief washed over me. “She’s on her way to the trailer.” I picked Bella up and spun her around. “Thank you. I owe you big time.”
“You can pay me back in celebrity gossip.”Chapter Twenty-Two - PearlRunning away to the trailer hadn’t been the most mature thing I’d ever done, but I couldn’t stand to be around people. Their happiness would only have pissed me off. No one wanted to watch my sad and moping face while they celebrated the season.
Because of another blizzard here during the week, snow had piled up, and I’d had to trudge through several inches to get to the door. For all I cared, it could snow for the next week because I wasn’t in a hurry to leave. I wasn’t in a hurry to see anyone or talk to anyone.
Only my mom knew where I’d been headed. I hadn’t wanted her to worry, but I needed peace and quiet. I needed to be on my own to think things through. I’d asked my mom to call Bella later to tell her not to panic if I didn’t get in contact for a few days and that I would explain when I got back.
My mom said and did everything she could to get me to stay, but I’d made my mind up. During the drive to the trailer, I’d listened to death metal. I might have ripped the radio from the console if I’d heard any Christmas songs or any mention of the word love. The only thing I wanted in my heart was hate. How could I have been so blind? So trusting? I thought we had something special. I thought that perhaps he could be the one. I snorted. Yeah, right. All the stuff he’d fed me was bullshit. And like an idiot, I’d eaten every word up.
I should’ve remained focused on my job and not my libido. I should never have let myself think that I could have a future with him. I should never have allowed myself to believe that maybe we could have something more in the New Year. He never had any intention of taking things any further with us.
For all I knew, this was a game he and Lyla played. Some fucked up kinky crap they got their rocks off to.
Where they at his apartment last night laughing at my stupidity while they wrapped my gifts? The sadistic SOBs deserved one another.
He’d been calling and texting, but I’d ignored him. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Since he’d already fooled me more than once, he wouldn’t get the chance to fool me again.
As humiliated as I was, I wouldn’t resign. I refused to start over somewhere new. When I went back to the office after the holidays, I would hold my head high and get on with things.
Anytime my tears tried to fall, I blinked them back. He didn’t deserve my tears. My heart clenched so hard I gasped, and I sank down on the sofa—the sofa where he’d first kissed me. I hugged my hands around my knees in an attempt to squeeze out my pain.
I’d cranked up the heat when I’d arrived, but I shook like frost coated my veins.
I needed something other than thoughts about James to occupy my mind. My mom’s collection of Tom Cruise DVDs caught my eye, but yuck. Schmaltzy, stomach-churning romance was the last thing I wanted to watch.
