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Leo shot and killed a man at the counter that drew a gun on him. He stormed forward, killed another man, was tackled by a third. They struggled and I watched as Maksim and Enrico made a break for it.
Leo kneed the man he struggled with in the face and shot him in the head.
“Leo!” I yelled, trying to get to him.
He didn’t stop. He charged forward, fired two more shots, reloaded the gun. There was a yell from behind and bullets sprang out. I flinched, ducked down. Leo ran to the back and threw himself around a corner. I followed, heart beating hard, fear lancing through me. More gunshots rang out behind me and I thought I was going to die at any second as they slammed into the walls all around.
A door ahead read Emergency Exit. It was slowly closing as I ran to it and shoved it open. I found myself in an alley, the stink of trash and rotten food heavy in the air. Leo stood a few feet away, gun in the air, firing shots. A man staggered, silhouetted by the night, and nearly fell.
I recognized him as he stepped onto the sidewalk, into the light of the streetlamp. It was Enrico, his face twisted in anger and pain.
“Don’t run from me,” Leo bellowed. “Don’t you dare run from me, you coward, you traitorous fuck.” He stormed after Enrico, and I ran after him.
I tripped on a packing crate and slammed my shoulder into the wall as Leo stepped out into the street, firing at a black car. Sparks bounced off the body as he lit it up. The glass shattered, broke, but the car pulled out. Leo shouted rage and frustration, his voice an animal growl of pure loathing. But the car kicked up black smoke and left tire tread on the street as it peeled out and drove away, leaving Leo alone in the street, venting his frustration on nothing.
“Leo,” I said.
He turned and for a second, I thought he was going to kill me. He raised his gun and I thought, oh, god, now he’s going to finish what he started.
Instead, he fired off two shots. A man grunted and fell to the ground just outside the door ten feet behind me. Leo fired again and a second man threw himself back in through the door.
I ran to him. I wasn’t thinking. Madness, fear, and confusion warred. He caught me by the waist and pulled me against him in a brief embrace, then grabbed my wrist.
“Come on.” He ran and I struggled to keep up. We went around the block the long way and found ourselves back at the car.
He threw open the driver’s side. I jumped into the passenger seat.
He drove in silence, drove bad and reckless, but never spoke until he was forced by traffic to drive at a more reasonable pace.
“I lost it back there.”
I chewed on my lip. “A little bit.”
“I should’ve gone in slower. Gotten slower before I started shooting.”
“They got away.”
“They did. But I wounded Enrico at least.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m sorry, Leo. I really am.”
He nodded. “Enrico was an asshole. A real piece of shit. But he was one of us.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Tell Hedeon. From there, I don’t know.”
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Flashes of gunfire, of screaming people, of anger and frustration and confusion passed before my eyes.
I realized as I stared out the window and my body slowly calmed down that my life with Leo would always be this way. Maybe not so explicitly violent but we’d never be safe. There’d never be a moment when I could sit down and relax and think that I could have a normal life. He lived on the edge of danger, on the razor-thin margins of life and death.
Forget babies, family, anything resembling a regular existence.
If I wanted to keep doing whatever the hell it was that I was doing with him, I’d have to accept that I was leaving all that behind.
The idea terrified me.
But strangely, it didn’t make me want to leave the car.
That’s what Leo was.
It was like being angry that a tiger had claws, or a shark had teeth.
If I wanted him, I had to accept him for himself.
Otherwise I’d be trying to perform dental surgery on a great white.
I’d never do that to him, not in a million years.
Which made me wonder just what I really wanted from this life.19Leonid“I fucked the hit up.” I stared out the window of yet another fancy hotel room. They all seemed to blend together: thick curtains, heavy carpet, modern minimalist style. They even smelled alike, vaguely plastic and bleach.
“What happened?” Hedeon sounded tired, more tired than I’d ever heard him sound before. I knew his wound was giving him trouble, but Oleg assured me he was healing okay.
