Boden couldn’t…
Antal knelt beside the bed.
What an odd sight. A few hours ago, Fi would have laughed to picture a Lord Daeyari knelt on drab floorboards, elbows propped on scratchy sheets, hunched over a human’s bedside.
A dying man.
Her brother.
The finality in Antal’s eyes struck her to ruin.
“Mayor Boden Kolbeck,” Antal said. “You’ve taken excellent care of Nyskya. For that, you have my thanks.”
Boden grimaced. “I want more than thanks, daeyari.”
“And you have my word. I’ll see this through and see your people safe. As Veshri watches from the Void.” He touched the highest tip of an antler.
Boden’s breaths grew shallower, more crackle than air. “She’s my only family, Antal. Take care of her. Please.”
“Boden, stop it.” Panic, now. Sharp edges to Fi’s words. Tears stung her eyes, but she couldn’t cry. Shenevercried. Not anymore. “You can’t talk like this. Nyskya needs you.Ineed you.”
“It’s ok, Fi-Fi. I’ve done as much as I could. Just a… rotten stroke of luck. We always knew this was a chance, didn’t we? But you’ll take care of the rest.”
“You don’t know that, Boden. What have Ieverdone right?”
Fi was so cold. So hot. Like her shivers could rip her in two.
“You let Astrid go,” Boden said. “Finally made amends.”
“I haven’t made amends withyou!”
“What—”
“I’m sorry, Boden. I’m sorry I ran away.” She’d planned this so differently, a bottle of whiskey between them, a warm hearth, a grin on his lips. “I’m sorry I left you to take care of dad. Sorry I wasn’t there when he died. Sorry I didn’t come to the funeral, didn’t help you build the pyre.” Merciless Void, there was so much. “I’m sorry I made you go through all that alone, made you track me down and—”
“Fi.” Boden’s hand fell upon hers. “I already forgave you.”
He was lying. He was trying to comfort her. “You didn’t.”
His brow creased. “Why not?”
“We never talked about it. You never wanted to talk about it!”
“Oh, Fi…” Barely a whisper now. “I didn’t knowhowto talk about it. When I found you seven years ago, you were so lost. My little sister, so hurt and afraid. I never wanted to force you back to that place. I thought if we just moved forward, put the past behind us… but I should have said all that.” He squeezed her hand. “Fi. I forgive you. I forgave you years ago.”
“How?” Fi was shaking. She gripped his hand, so cold, so weak. “Ibrought this to Nyskya. I brought a daeyari to your doorstep. I thought we could fight Verne’s Beast… now look at you!”
At the end, it was Boden’s smile that stopped Fi breathing. That familiar way it spread across his face, crinkling lines around his eyes.
“And what about everything else?” he said. “You stayed in Nyskya, helped me build it into a home we could be proud of, even when you were still hurting. You stayed to fight Verne with us, even when you were afraid. We’re different people now, Fi. You’re a different person. And I’m so proud of the person you’ve become. I forgave you. All that’s left is for you to forgive yourself. Fuck… I’m so proud of you, Fi… Please. Make this count.”
He tried to move his hand again, to brush the tears that finally slipped down her cheeks.
His fingers fell still against hers.
All of him fell still.
The whole room, still.
