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“Let’s just live in the moment, shall we?”
I sighed and nodded. Taking my own advice as I snuggled down in his arms.38LoganI adored the cycle of my days with that woman. I adored the train journeys in the morning, with her giggling her beautiful laugh as we spoke. I adored her hand in mine on the way to the hospital, and the way she’d wave in the corridor with her pretty little smile nice and bright every time we passed by.
I adored Mum’s face every time she saw Chloe along with me in the evening, and the way she’d pull her in tight for a hug.
I adored the giggles at crossword answers and how they’d gossip cute gossip when I was out of earshot, their eyes twinkling bright.
And Jesus Christ, I adored her in bed at night, her body opening up with a siren’s call, always craving more, more, more.
The girl was a wonder, more than I’d ever dreamt possible, and I almost found hope again. Almost pushed the darkness aside and told her my truth. Almost believed that my life was worth her devotion, whatever the cost of that might be.
Luckily, I didn’t.
Luckily, I held back long enough for my rationale to come to its senses.
It was on Thursday evening that she came rushing up to me in the consulting room with a shine in her eyes and that trademark nervous smile on her face.
“Can I help you, Miss Sutton?” I asked with a smirk, dropping my pen onto the desk.
She scrambled into the seat opposite me, picking up that same pen and twiddling it in her fingers.
“Richard, Romi, Nadia and Soren are heading out after work tonight. Richard’s wife is pregnant and they’re going out for a drink to celebrate.”
“Excellent news,” I said. “I’ll be sure to congratulate him when I see him.”
She hovered there, eyes on mine. “Vickie from Kingsley is going too, if I go.”
I held her gaze. “I hope you have an amazing time. I imagine you aren’t joining me home tonight, don’t worry, hopefully I’ll be able to finish up the crossword with Mum without your wisdom.”
I laughed, but she didn’t laugh with me, her eyes were still fixed on mine.
“I was hoping you could come with me.”
I stopped laughing. “Come with you? Out drinking around Harrow on a Thursday evening?”
She nodded. “Yeah. It could be fun, right?”
I loved her nervous smile, freckles adorable under bright eyes.
Fun.
I was becoming ever more familiar with the concept since the Chloe whirlwind slammed into my world.
I should’ve said no, and used the opportunity to work late, or head back home and use the evening to review Mum’s medication for the millionth time. But I couldn’t. Those gorgeous eyes of hers wouldn’t let me.
I sat back in my seat and let out a breath.
“Sure, Chloe, I’ll come out drinking around Harrow with you on a Thursday evening. I’ll just have to let Olivia know we are going to be late.”
She air-punched, in that beautiful way I was becoming so familiar with.
“SUPER COOL!”
Her giggle was glorious.
She was already up and out of her seat before she spoke next, backing away to the door.
“You won’t regret it,” she said. “We’ll have so much fun.” She reached the doorway. “Can’t wait to tell Vickie we’ll be going.”
“Enjoy your afternoon,” I replied, and she nodded before she shut the door.
So there we had it. A night with the team in Harrow, celebrating Richard’s good news. It felt strangely appealing – the social company. I imagine it was then that I came to realise these people were a lot closer to me than I’d given credit for in all the years I’d been working with them. I knew their mannerisms and their history and their family details. I knew the way they made small talk and greeted me every morning. I knew the way they tried to include me, in almost every activity they did both on the ward, and out of it.
I made sure I’d finished all upcoming consultations and answered my emails before I got ready to leave the hospital that evening. Chloe was still in her nurse’s uniform as we left there, and so were the others, a bunch in blue as we made our way across the car park. They were laughing, talking, congratulating Richard and singing him songs, and I couldn’t hold back the smile, grinning at Chloe as she joined in with their hip hip hoorays.
We started in The Plough inn, sitting at a corner table recounting the ward that day. We moved to Brewery Tavern down the High Street, where the rest of the bunch started on the cocktails. I’d had a couple of glasses of red by the time Chloe was a tipsy little jitterbug, buzzing along at my side as we made our way out of there.
