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I grab a t-shirt and tug a pair of jeans on over my boxers while he looks at the picture of himself on my bedside table. He’s so small in that picture, barely more than twelve months old.
I wonder how far his memory goes back. I wonder how much of the horrible shit that went down last year really managed to go right over his head.
Not enough, that’s for sure.
I check him for wetness before I scoop him up and head downstairs. There’s nothing there. It’s a good sign.
A good sign things are finally getting better.
They won’t be getting better for Serena as I catch her eyes across the kitchen. She’s already drinking coffee, the morning news blaring in the background.
I put Cameron in his chair and hold up cereal boxes for him to point to. I keep the smile on my face even though I’m fucking seething.
“Morning,” she says. “Good night?”
I don’t even grace her with an answer. I give Cameron the TV remote and pour his cereal with a smile, and then I gesture her to the living room, heading through and leaving the door open just a crack.
She takes the cue.
My voice is a raging fucking hiss as I jab a finger at the drinks cabinet.
“One fucking night, Serena. I’m out one fucking night and you let Jake come calling. What the fuck does he want with my fucking house?”
Her eyes are fiercer than I expected. “I invited him.”
It’s like a slap in the face, sobering enough that I take a step back. “You invited him? Here? Why the fuck would you invite him here?”
Her voice is a hiss right back at me. “He’s my brother, Leo. Where the fuck else have I got to invite him to? Did you know he sleeps in his fucking truck nine nights out of ten? The heating in his place packed in a few months back, the place is a shithole from what I hear. He won’t let me come to him.”
I shake my head as she talks. “And this is supposed to make me feel guilty, is it?”
She groans. “I’m just telling you the truth of it. I’m here all the time, with you and Cam. You never go anywhere. You’ve never been anywhere! I used the opportunity to see my other brother, is that such a big fucking deal?”
I don’t believe her that it’s not a big deal. Her eyes drop too quickly from mine.
“What did he have to say then, your brother?”
“Stop,” she says, but I don’t.
“I don’t suppose he had any wisdom to impart seeing as he’s holding back a whole fucking jigsaw puzzle of fucking answers from me?”
“He doesn’t remember…”
“Bullshit,” I hiss. “That’s fucking bullshit.”
“The night of the fire is repressed…” she begins, but I hold up a hand.
“He remembers enough to fucking hate me for pulling him out first. He remembers enough to blame me for her being there in the fucking first place. The rest is what? Mysteriously forgotten?”
Her lip trembles and it’s enough to knock me off my axis. She gestures toward the kitchen with tears in her eyes.
“So it’s okay for little Cam to play mute for twelve months straight? It’s okay for little Cam to play baby while we all tread on eggshells? It’s okay for everyone else to struggle with all of this, but Jake is a liar? Nothing but a liar? No trauma for Jake? No? None at all?”
I suck in breath, reeling as she keeps on rolling.
“It’s not as if he loved her or anything, is it, Leo? Not as if he was crazy about her? Not as though you fucking knew it?”
“Shut your mouth,” I hiss, but she shakes her head.
“You’re in denial and you can’t even see it!” A tear rolls down her cheek, and I hate it. I hate seeing her cry.
“He wants to sell the old premises,” I snap. “He’s the one who hates my fucking guts, Serena. He’s the one who’s threatening to sell his shares to anyone paying.”
“And why do you want to keep them? Why do you want to keep any of it?!”
I shake my head. Smile at the ridiculousness. It’s ridiculous. This whole thing is ridiculous. I hate that sack of shit even more for addling her fucking mind the first opportunity he gets.
“I’m refurbishing the premises,” I say, even though I’m not sure I am. “It’s a better size than the unit in town. We can expand.”
“Expand?!” Her eyes widen. “Leo, the business is on its fucking knees. The insurance isn’t going to cover it and you know it, even if you won’t say it. You’re not even sure it was an accident, and you think they’re gonna toe the line? You’re driving yourself into the ground after her, all because you won’t just stop and face the obvious.”
