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“You gonna fucking message me back then, or what?” he grunts. “Gotta use our fucking sister as your fucking guard dog now when you’re not around?”
He’s easy to out manoeuvre as he swings a clumsy fist across the desk at me, and he’s easy to spin on his haunches and disorientate enough to slam to the ground.
The guy’s like an angry fucking bear as he scrabbles to his feet. He tears my paperwork to the floor with his efforts, and I resist the urge to kick him right in the gut while he’s on his knees.
“Back the fuck off, Jake,” I bark, but he’s too gone. Too fucking drunk.
His lip twists into a sneer as he glares up at me. “It’s Ash,” he spits. “Ash, because there’s no rising from the flames for me, Phoenix. I’m still fucking dead inside.” He pauses. There’s enough hate in his eyes to make my neck prickle. “He’s my fucking boy!” he yells and I curse his loud fucking mouth. I’m aware of people gathering in the corridor outside, aware that news of brothers at war is spreading like the pox through this building.
“Fuck you, Jake,” I hiss. “She was mine. Cameron’s mine.”
“You’re a fucking fool,” he snarls. “She was mine. I saw her first. I loved her first.”
I grab him by his filthy t-shirt and haul him to his feet, and I’m as bad as he is, all restraint lost to me now the beast’s boiling in my blood. “Tell me what fucking happened that night. Tell me what started that fucking fire.”
His eyes are full of hate. “You did. You sent her running.”
My fist tightens against his throat. “Why were you there? What were the two of you fucking doing?”
His hate turns into a sneer. “What do you fucking think?”
I throw him over my desk. He hits the floor hard, but still he’s flailing, grappling. “You were fucking her the whole fucking time?” My eyes fill as full of hate as his. “That’s really what you’re saying? The whole motherfucking time, Jake?”
“More than you fucking were,” he snarls, and he’s back on his feet. “The boy’s mine, Leo. You know it. I know it. Ain’t no fucking way he’s yours and you know it.”
But I don’t.
He’s drunk. Full of fucking shit.
“Get out!” I bark and point to the exit. “You’re a fucking wreck. Go sort your fucking life out.”
“I have no fucking life,” he growls. “You stole it from me then let it fucking burn. You should have left me there to fucking burn with it.”
“I’m beginning to wish I fucking had,” I tell him. His eyes flash with pain. “Maybe you should. She could’ve been still breathing.”
But no.
That’s fucking bullshit.
For the first time I don’t feel the gut punch of guilt. Or self-loathing. Or failure.
I feel nothing but disgust at what he’s become. What we’ve become.
“I’d never have gotten to her in time,” I tell him, and I’m so calm it takes me aback. “The explosion loosened the racking, that door was barricaded tight.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” he rasps. “You didn’t even fucking try.”
My scars are burning all over again. I can smell them. Taste the seared meat in the air.
“You have no idea how hard I fucking tried,” I tell him. “You’re a fucking disgrace, Jake. A loser drunk on his knees. You’re not Cam’s fucking father and you never will be. You’re just the sad excuse for an uncle that everyone feels pity for. Maybe that’s why she chose me and not you, ever think about that? You always were a fucking loser.”
“Shut your fucking mouth, Leo.”
“Straight up choice, Ash. She chose me. Meeting you first made fuck all difference, it was always me.”
“Is that fucking so?”
I nod. Don’t take my eyes off his. “Yeah, that’s fucking so.”
“She called you a cunt that night,” he snarls. “Said she hated you. Said she was sorry she ever fucking met you. Wanted us to take the boy and get away from here. Away from you.”
I smile a terrible smile. “Glad that little gem managed to make it through the amnesia. Care to enlighten me with any others while you’re at it?”
“You took everything from me!” he booms. “Let me see my boy, or I swear to fucking God, I’ll take everything away from you too. Don’t make me tear you down, Phoenix. I’d hate something to happen to this sweet little place you got set up here. Be bad luck for lightning to strike twice now, wouldn’t it?”
He pauses. I stare, unwavering as he continues with his shit.
“Be a fucking shame if you were the one who didn’t make it out next time, Leo. Poor little Cam would need good old Uncle Ash around to make it better.”
“You’re a piece of work, and you’re fucking leaving.”
“Paternity test!” he snarls. “I want a fucking paternity test!”
